Salutations Spectrumites

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I have been lurking here and thought it time to proffer an introduction.

I am new to the world of Asperger’s and admit I am a bit conflicted. Asperger’s explains me and my life experiences in a way that nothing else has. After reading about the life-long struggles of many aspies and auties, I feel I understand (and have related issues), but have somehow avoided many of the worst situations and outcomes in my own life. In the end, though, I am amazed at the inexplicable diversity of people in the “spectrum.”

Six months ago, in a used bookstore, I found a Tony Attwood book on Asperger's. After scanning a few chapters I laughed out loud and almost fell over. A "that's me" epiphany. Hundreds of odd characteristics about me suddenly coalesced. I went home, thought about it for a few days, then told my long-suffering wife. She laughed: a friend of ours (PhD in psychology) had told her a few days earlier that I seemed like a high functioning aspie.

My “online test” stats: on the AQ test I scored 39 (out of 50), the Aspie-Quiz 135 (out of 200; 54 out of 200 for the NT score). I have met with another psychologist and he found enough evidence to do further testing if I want.

I have social interaction issues, repetitive behaviors, repetitive behaviors, peculiar intense interests, communication issues, high anxiety, melt-downs and shut-downs (thus “fainting goat” – google it). I am intellectual all the time, and have a jarring yet delectable array of sensory peculiarities.

I have had a peculiar but good life. I have never had a job outside of academia (and am now a tenured professor and author). High IQ (for what that crap measure is worth) with a wildly inconsistent academic record – in the end always exceeding expectations when I needed to do so. I now understand that my unusual aspie creativity wedded to the capacity for intense focus has been vital to my academic success. I have also been lucky to teach in institutions where my colleagues are quite happy to leave me alone.

Alas, the last 3 or 4 years have been a struggle: I love my wife and two kids but for the first time in my life I was faced with typical “married with children” chaos. Hyper-anxiety, melt-downs, withdrawal, and no understanding of why (which made it all the worse). Learning about Asperger’s has helped make sense of my situation, make adjustments in day-to-day life, and begin to cope with the situation. The same reactions are still there, but understanding them helps me deal with them. I feel immensely better. My oldest kid drew a picture of me a year ago: red faced, big frown, alarmed eyes. He drew a picture a few days ago: big smile, happy. Sappy, I know.

I now indulge my aspiness: it’s ok to eat the same thing for dinner every night, sit in the near dark in my office and listen to the HVAC symphony, do my stim things in public, go off on peculiar tangents in class (the students like it), have my alone time, stare at interesting patterns and not feel obliged to look at people, accumulate more of my odd objects and arrange them about me, and so on. My wife is understanding. She is not at all aspie (AQ=19) but a complex person with her own peculiarities that, she understands, I struggle with at times. We have things to work on and are doing so. I am not “out” with most people but it is early in the process.

fainting-goat

Nice to meet you, fainting-goat.

Nice avatar as well.

Wow, you sound interesting. I'm watching fainting goat video's on YouTube now - LAUGH! Thanks for that...

My experience is similar to yours with regards to finally finding out - I'm also one big smile now, having reorganised my life to be friendly and kind towards my nature.

Love to hear more about your "jarring yet delectable array of sensory peculiarities".

My dad was a professor at university all his life and your note just reminds me so much of him. I've been meaning to have a chat with him about Asperger's and I think it may be a good idea, if it had such a positive change on your life.

All the best. Don't lurk your life sounds fascinating. Give those students something to talk about!

I think one of the nicer things that has come from my AHA!! moment is I can now better explain to others, which are very very few in number, why I do and don't do what I do. This has helped immensily in me being able to explain what is happening better, in real time, whats going on inside to my wife. Our communication wasn't bad before, but this knowing has helped us both. Simple things now make sense from my past and present, really a big breath of fresh air.

Yeah your scores are pretty close to mine, I think I hit 139, but my NT score was much higher. Oh well, I can't help it, I must have gotten to close to one. I think my poor Mom was an NT. Dad and I tried to help, but neither of us knew at the time, they are just born that way.

Anyway glad you found us and welcome home.

To WrongPlanet!! !

HI-nice to meet you fainting goat.

Welcome to WrongPlanet, fainting-goat.

stop on by, we're always open... - Young Frankenstein..

Hola ! bienvenido

Hi and welcome to the aspie community...

hi

I am just starting to pull these sensory issues together. In the past I would sink into chaos and not know why - seems to me, now, that sensory stuff is often responsible.

Vision: I have what a neurologist said was micropsia - like seeing through a fisheye lens (things look small, far away, warped). Severe in my early teens. I could eventually control it (set it off) by, for example, feeling something large with one arm, and touching something small with the other. Maybe this is why I never got into drugs. I still get it, sometimes now I get a strong feeling like this distortion lies over a non-distorted version of what I am looking at - hard to describe. Also, things can appear large, particularly when things are moving nearby (stuff lunges at me). Makes me a joy as a passenger in a car (I yell and duck).

I have always had all sorts of phosphenes - flashes/specks/patterns of usually white light. Like when you get bonked in the head (seeing stars). Or gently press on your closed eyes and you should see them. Pretty much happens all the time to some degree for me. Things are all lightly shimmery. Pleasant as opposed to the unsettling flashing of fluorescent lights which I cannot tolerate. Certain loud noises (the ones that can drive me to meltdowns) produce very bright flashes, and I see patterns from some kinds of music. These latter experiences are possibly photism, a form of synaesthesia. Leaky senses.

Hyper sensitive to visual details: I am spectacular at noticing stuff no one else seems to notice, am a champ at finding tiny things, lost things, and can stare at dust motes forever. I wear contact lenses, and even with them have somewhat imperfect vision, yet I can still see all these details. I will notice the smallest thing out of place or moved or where it should not be and have to return the spaces I can see to their normal state. Constantly vacuum/dust at home because I notice every speck and dog hair and they get overwhelming. "Honey, I'm going into labor" - "Wait, I have to vacuum first." That kind of thing.

Problems when multiple things are moving quickly around me: this can really set off a major melt down. I seem to lose the ability to make sense out of the scene, it can disassemble. Bad when pulling out into traffic with cars coming from different directions, or standing near a road, or watching sports, or people (kids, dogs) running around.

Sounds: bad are loud, sharp noises: dog barking, doors slamming, phones ringing, etc. take me down. The dog is a mobile melt-down making machine: barking, clicking nails on the floor, etc. I don't like phones or dogs because they might ring or bark. I can hear the most subtle and far off sounds and this can be distracting or useful. I get sucked in by certain sounds - like a squeaking door hinge - and squeak it until someone yells at me to stop.

Smells: like with subtle sounds, subtle smells are extremely distracting. I am forever hunting down obscure smells in our house because I can't rest until I find them. Cooking food smells can unhinge me.

Touch: Light touch is bad. Hand shakes, hugs, etc. uncomfortable. Light touch can generate a sort of electrical/crawling worms under my skin feeling (it can get so bad that it is like a drawn out shock and makes me jump). This would make me all mean & agitated in the past - not good for familial relations - but I am working on it now. I never get mosquito bites because I can always feel them land on me.

I do poorly in water. I start to head towards melt-down land after about 10 minutes in a pool or bath. My wife and kids love to swim and I would always throw a fit when a swimming outing was suggested, then go anyway and, once in the pool, I would descend into a melt-down. I don't know how to describe it other then total sensory overload. I now sit on the edge of the pool and am ok. Can't tolerate stuff under my fingernails or on my hands at all. Have to shower every day because I can feel the oil on my skin (but can't stay in the shower very long). Touchy with clothes, tags, socks that are not on right, and wear shorts whenever possible (long pants always irritate me). I feed the dog: when I am going to get her food she puts her nose lightly on the back of my bare leg. My wife claims this is an indication of affection, but it feels she is hitting me with a taser. I now do an elaborate ballet to avoid that bedamned nose. I also walk on my toes, particularly when walking on unfamiliar surfaces. Seems to be something about the feel of the surface.

That is probably enough!

To WrongPlanet!! !

Yeah richie i stole it off you...

I am Strapples you will get to know me... you will probably possibly be annoyed or not...

i am severe PDD-NOS... and majorly obsessed with straps

my obsessions are powerchairs, assistive technology, stock market, neurological diseases and disabilities, sensory integration disorders, radiology, straps!! !