Hello parents of "we think" is an aspie...

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Hello to all !
I am Gerry and my wife is Kathleen. We have a 4 year old who displayed some of the symptoms of AS, She is a late talker. She can speak but when spoken to by others can not respond back in a sentence. She still is not potty trained. It is frustrating for us when she soils her diaper as she will only tell us after the fact.."Daddy....Mommy diapee change???" She has poor social skills with other kids. Won't ask to play with a toy, just takes it....

She love to watch Cinderella over and over and over, which may be a symptom. She is physical very coordinated which contradicts a symptom of a clumsy child. She loves music ! Watches children's entertainers, Dan Zanes and Ralph's World DVD's over and over.

We have not actually had her evaluated by a AS specialist but it seems as she does have at least some borderline symptoms of AS . We have her is a Early Childhood Development program at our local elementary school where teachers are doing a great job with her behavior and with speech. We are 1 1/2 hours south of St Louis. Any suggestions for us would be greatly appreciated. We are one of those millions of American families with NO health insurance.
Any thoughts on our situation ??

Thank You Gerry and Kathleen
SE Missouri

Welcome to WP!

Nice to meet you, Gerry and Kathleen.

First of all, I think that you should get her tested. Second of all, I think that you should be accepting towards her, and let her know that she's loved. Acceptance is the best cure.

Welcome to WP, by the way.

The late speaking is rather a sign of autism, not Asperger's, but personally, non-professional opinion, perhaps she is then borderline between the two. However, she does not sound THAT different from a neurotypical four year old.

My advice to you is:

1) Love her
2) love her
3) love her

Once you have done that (and from what I can gather, you are doing that in abundance already, so just do what you're doing!), and have done it physically, with hugs and smoochies, no matter how much she objects, you can also try to:

4) Help her very, very gently with social skills. Perhaps only introduce one (very patient, independent) playmate at a time and be there to facilitate. Without being in the way or too obvious. This is a fine play good luck.
5) Talk to her, a lot. Even though it looks like she's not listening or picking up anything, whether she is neurotypical or autistic, it will help her. She'll astonish you with a vocabulary one day!
6) Try to be "in tune" with what she may be doing, and try to encourage it and interact with you, perhaps, if at all possible, during the process.
7) Help her not be frustrated by making sure there is no sensory overload (lights, sounds) - try and create an atmosphere of calm in your house, like a safe, quiet haven of peace and tranquility (lol - I know this is no easy task! But it will help her focus on things like remembering to go to the potty in time, and not stress: the more stress, the more brain overload, the longer you will wait for things like speaking and interacting to get a spot in her priority list).

Good luck. And relax. Your kid is already ok. You accepting her as she is, will go a long way into making her just fine.

LadyMahler already said everything.
If there is any other problems, then make a post in the parents section, lots of people here who are more than happy to help.

Which only leaves a welcome I guess. So Welcome to WrongPlanet

This sounds more like autism than AS. I say this because autism is characterized by developmental delays (like what you have described) and AS generally is not. People tend to either not know that or they otherwise ignore that.

To WrongPlanet!! !

I too had delayed speech, social and physical development, and I was slow in other areas such as toilet
training....But later in life I surpassed most of my peers in reading and math skills and I graduated from high school on time.
This was at a time when medical and mental health professionals did not understand or recognize "Higher Functioning Autism"
or Asperger's Syndrome or Pervasive Developmental Disorders.

Welcome kathandgerry!

Welcome

Hi and welcome

With a condition like Asperger it is exceptionally hard because no 2 people are the same. We may have some of the same traits, but we are all individuals in our selves, different personalities, different circumstances and each effected differently. So generalizing about people with Aspergers is difficult, as if you know one person on the autism spectrum disorder, you just know one! We are unique individuals and share traits which has been behind some of the greatest human achievements to date.

The main areas of difference are, but this is very general and can vary so much and of course depends on associated conditions like ADHD, Dyslexia...:
Social problems: Although children may express an interest in friendships, they have difficulty in making friends and may be rejected by peers; often these children are loving and affectionate with their immediate family. Socially inappropriate behavior, lack of understanding social cues, difficulty judging personal space, difficulty understanding others’ feelings and rigid social behavior due to an inability to spontaneously adapt to variations in social situations.

Abnormal communication patterns: Awkward or inappropriate body language, including limited use of gestures and absent or inappropriate facial expressions. Unusual, formal style of speaking, difficulty understanding non literal and implied communication. Impairments in the modulation of volume, intonation, inflection, rate, and rhythm of speech, speech may be tangential and circumstantial, often with irrelevant comments. Conversation style characterized by marked wordiness. Difficulty with “give and take” of conversation and lack of sensitivity about interrupting others.

Activities: Intense interest in a particular, often very restricted, subject that dominates the individual’s attention. Inflexible adherence to routines; has repetitive routines or rituals, and apprehensive about change, may have difficulty transitioning from one activity to another.

Sensory sensitivity: Sensitivity to sound, touch, taste, light, sight, smell, pain, and/or temperature and, sensitivity to the texture of foods.

Motor skill delays: History of delayed development of motor skills. Visible clumsiness and poor coordination and deficits in visual-motor and visual-perceptual skills, including problems with balance, manual dexterity, handwriting, rapid movements, rhythm, and imitation of movements.

This will give you a general idea, but really its not that simply I always say to people read as much information as you can, lots of books and web sites available.

It really is just a different way of thinking and seeing things, and really depends on the child and associated conditions what help may be needed, I always say to parents you know your child best and even though there are so many children and parents out there in need of extra support and help there really is not enough, unless can afford to pay.

But your child has you and understanding is really a big part of being able to support your child.

Yes. Love her. For all that she is, so that she may become what she wants. I love my parents, both now deceased, and I understand they couldn't possibly know that I was different. I'd always hide any feelings I had of being different, needing something first to come forward before I could express any such feeling.

So do everything you can to reach out to her. Given all my time in the dark, the only light I ever found was another person reaching out to try and understand me.

Welcome

Hello, friends!

Welcome to Wrongplanet!

I hope you both enjoy posting here!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!