New to AS and Wrong Planet

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Hello all. My name is Jen and I was diagnosed with HFA/AS last fall at the age of 31. I posted some detailed information about myself under the Sticky: "Questions about you" if anyone is interested in reading more about me. I am still learning my way around WrongPlanet and the forums and have only posted a few things so far.

It is nice to feel like I have a place I can come to and feel a sense of camaraderie. Everyone is so honest about themselves and what makes them unique or considered awkward by NT people and wow, that is so refreshing to experience and be a part of. What a great site!

I hope that I get to know some of you better and maybe I can offer something here that might help others learn something or feel better as well. I look forward to being a part of this community and that is not something I think or feel very often...so thanks for reading a little about me everyone!

Welcome!

Is that a picture of a barn owl?

Thank you for welcoming me And yes, that is a barn owl....I think owls are beautiful.

Nice to meet you, Jen.

Hey Jen, what a refreshing cheerful introduction!
Your feelings towards this site seems so much like my own when I first came here "Hope to be a part of something and help out if I can" sure sounds like me.
I sure havent regretted signing up, actually it has been quite nice. I hope you will come to feel the same
PS. I really like your signature.

Welcome to WrongPlanet

Welcome aboad matey... privies are to the left or over the side...


Well something like that...

Welcome Jen

I too am VERY new to WrongPlanet. I am here to better understand / help my daughter (11 years old). She has not been diagnosed with AS as yet, but think I'm heading in the right direction. Her teachers have tied to label her ADD and later appologized and admitted she does not have symtoms of ADD.

I too am VERY new to WrongPlanet. I am here to better understand / help my daughter (11 years old). She has not been diagnosed with AS as yet, but I think I'm heading in the right direction. Her teachers have tied to label her ADD and later apologized and admitted she does not have symptoms of ADD. My wife has spoken with the school about what my findings are with AS and they have dismissed it.

Here’s what I see in her;
> Unable to make or keep friends (socially awkward)
> When with friends, tends to venture off on her own
> does not get sarcasm or jokes
> Unable to read body language or facial expressions
> Brutally honest and has no tact (typical with kids, but excessive with her)
> Will talk your ear of on a subject and won’t clue into the boredom expressed by the audience. (ALWAYS talking)
> Currently infatuated with Pirates of the Caribbean and researches the actors and other movies they’ve played in. (cute to see first crush, Johnny Depp)
> Very clumsy with her motor skills
> Makes an awkward face when talking (tongue pushing out lower lip)
> Speech and pronunciation VERY clear even at a young age
> If plans are made in a particular order, gets anxious if changed

But lacks the following symptoms;
> Learned to crawl at a normal stage
> Learned to walk at a normal stage
> Learned to talk at a normal stage
> Learned to ride a bike (2 wheeler) early
> Doesn’t have repetitive motions / movements
> Responds to her name on first calling
> Doen’t have the monotone ‘little professor’ characteristic

This is just scratching the surface. I'm hoping to learn more about ASD's through this forum. If in fact she doesn't have AS, the key to the 'treatment' is understnding.

I appoligize if I've offended anyone with the above diagnostics or assumptions. I am trying to better understand AS / ASD's and think this is a perfect place to become educated.

Thanks for your warm welcome and telling me about yourself and your daughter. As far as the list above I share some traits with her.

~ I am also socially awkward and have a tough time with acquiring and maintaining friendships. Maybe some insight for you that would help with this one is that (for myself anyway) I am usually far more comfortable being alone and not feeling pressured to be someone I am not, or forced out of a routine or time frame that I feel comfortable in. If you feel odd or have been teased about how you are not like others in a peer group I think it is easier to just withdraw from interacting with others even if you do feel lonely or crave contact where you are accepted or liked.

It is also difficult for me to feel compelled or interested in the maintence of friendships. They take a lot of energy that I can't always see the point of putting into them. That might sound harsh to someone who thinks differently but it is unfortuantely true, especially after being burned so many times in my life while being naive about other's intentions towards me.

~I tend to venture off on my own or into my owns thoughts because that is where I feel most comfortable. It is hard for me to feign interest for very long in something that doesn't interest me. I also disliked a lot of the "female" toys that are pushed onto girls and escaped into books often. Possibly you could see if reading helps her develop interests that she could interact with others about.

~I did not understand sarcasm or many jokes when I was younger and even now tend to take things very literally.

~I have developed the ability to tune in better to facial expressions and moods of others, especially when they are negative. I was an abused child so I think the ability to anticipate how someone will react to you next is something unique I learned because of my circumstances.

~LOL...well I am still brutally honest and sometimes things still slip out in a quite untactful manner (bad when this is your boss). I have learned to appreciate my honesty and prefer my nature to those that are dishonest. The only encouragement I might offer here is that you try working with her (if possible) to recognize that there are times when it is better to say nothing. Took me a LONG time to figure this one out and I am still not always successful.

~I still talk elaborately and excessively but those who are close to me humor me. Something that may not apply to everyone, but I am not offended when someone explains to me why they want to change the subject or are not long interested in my topic at the moment (such as "you are giving me a headache and I can't think about this anymore - let's talk about something else").

~ I was infatuated with animals, the sea, sharks, and then Jim Morrison and the music of the Doors when I hit early teens. It fluctuates for me though. The early infatuations still fascinate me but my interests now include other things which flow and ebb in my obsessive tendencies. This is a good thing though as it probably helps me have something to interact with others about, especially NT's.

~I was always clumsy and still am to a degree. I knocked my drink over at dinner every night, and I do mean unfortunately every night. Thankfully I seemed to have grown out of that but it does still happen from time to time. I have noticed that being anxious tends to make the clumsiness worse.

~I was considered gifted at a young age because I read at an advanced level and spoke early.

~ I get very anxious if I cannot plan something, even something as simple as my chores or a grocery list. I can visualize the entire grocery store I shop at and make my list according to the aisles and location of what I want to buy in the store. Even if I have to go back to the opposite end of the store for one thing it makes me anxious because it is not planned. This has frustrated many people in my life but routine is what is so comforting to me. Not knowing what to expect can be very scary and I have noticed this in particular with my young nephew who has AS. I even bathe and eat my food in the same order each time. I don't know that I will ever become more flexible than I am now but I keep working at it.



~ I have all the above in common with her.



I couldn't agree more with you Muncie and the more I read and understand the more I accept and feel better about who I am. Like it makes sense and I am not just off or crazy compared to others. It also helps to have found a place like WrongPlanet because when you are considered "weird" or "odd" in many ways that those with AS do, it is very difficult to feel like you have anything in common with anyone. Maybe you could encourage her to interact within a safe environment such as this one when supervised or find outlets for her that she enjoys and can interact with others about the interest. A reading group, sports, horses, anything you or her could think of that you can afford and she will enjoy.

I have read that females with AS can be much more difficult to diagnose and their symptoms can be very different from the expected symptoms you read about with males. Amazon.com has a few books about girls/women with AS that you could research that may help both yourself and your daughter get a clearer picture.

You did not offend me and I hope that maybe some of this helped you. Please feel free to interact with me at any time if you would like to ask me more questions. Good Luck!

Last edited by JustJen on 15 Feb 2008, 3:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Nice to meet you too

Well thanks Anders I try to be helpful and cheerful when I can. I am glad to hear you have not regretted the time you have spent here and I hope I feel the same way 200+ posts from now

The signature seemed fitting to the site and me so I am glad you liked it! Look forward to talking with you again in the future Anders.

Thanks for the welcoming words Grimfaire!

Welcome to WP!

Thanks for you insight Jen. That was VERY helpful and now know I'm heading in the right direction. May daughter is only 11, she is only now noticing she is unique. The past 2 years have been rough on her as their 4 girls in her class using her as a pawn.

The statement I made may be a bit confusing, "She lacks the following symptoms...." should read "she had normal early child hood development, including...."

Thanks again for your response, greatly appreciated.

Regards, John

Hello there JustJen. Welcome to WP. I'm glad you like it here. Stick around a while.

Welcome Jen (and Muncie),

Great to have you onboard.

The aspergers criteria are guidelines only;

- The symptoms don't ALL have to be present for a diagnosis
- The symptoms change somewhat over time
- There is a lot of interpretation around the symptoms - which means that you come home from the paediatrician and say "my kid doesn't do that" etc.. (eg: Stimming) but in a few months, you'll realise what it means.

I don't have time for a long post but you'll find lots of info on my blog (see my footer).

To WrongPlanet!! !