New Member of son with Autism

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In July of last year my son was diagnosed with Autism. He was three at his diagnosis. We struggled ( and still struggle) with why his psychologist chose an autism label rather than Aspergers. His expressive/receptive language is at a seven year old level and his IQ is in the 140's. We feel isolated, we have met many families with children with Autism but, their children are not like ours. We vacillate between guilt that our son is doing so much "better" then the other kids with autism and terror when we see how far behind he is in the more specific, subtle social issues as compared to typical kids. We are constantly told ( by strangers, family members, general ed teachers) that he is "fine" and maybe the psychologists/speech therapist are wrong or just looking for problems. We feel silly arguing that our "normal" looking child does in fact have a lifelong disability - and the proof is that he doesn't do " pretend-play". I do not want to stigmatize him if he is fine...but I don't want to hang him out to dry is he really does need intensive therapy. So that is where we are at. Those of you with Autism/ASpergers would you please answer my poll.

Thanks

CC

I didn't have any therapy, because I wasn't diagnosed as a child.

Looking back, I think I need some therapy, but at the time, I probably wouldn't have been receptive to it.

I was a really stubborn kid.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Back in my day all I had were Freudian hacks and behaviorists who labeled me as "brain damaged", but
did not offer anything constructive. Today there are behavior therapies that can help your child develop
his abilities and medications to regulate some of the more disturbing aspects such as self-destructive stimming.
What is needed is balance between the two.

Near my hometown, there is an excellent facility for kids with Autism and Asperger's Syndrome...with a preschool, a school for
older kids unable to attend the school in their home district, an Awesome Summer Camp and it also, provides services as occupational and speech therapy. There are even residential housing available for kids unable to live at home, even if only temporary. Also, parents have the opportunity to meet with other parents for support, guidance and encouragement. I wish this facility had existed when I was a kid in need! But, AS wasn't even recognzed as a developmental disorder until 1994.

If such assistance is available in your community, take advantage of it.

That must be a difficult situation in which to find yourself. I am an Aspie, my daughter is an Aspie. Nobody ever heard of "Aspergers" until the last decade or so, and "Autism" used to mean almost strictly Kanner (sp?). Neither of us fit that. My father was either HFA or Aspie. He had a brother who had to have been Aspie, and another who could have been either. There was yet another brother who was significantly impaired, but we're not sure what that was. His Mother was somewhere on the spectrum - I've heard so many stories about her that sound like they came out of a textbook that I'm certain. All of us had varying degrees of awareness (except for the one significantly impaired bro who was so "out there" that nobody knew what he felt, or if he felt) that we were/are not "normal". We didn't know why, but we knew. My father did well in his chosen profession after surviving the Germans in the war (WWII). He had his family, we all grew up. I have made it into my middle age, have my three college degrees, have made a living and a life. My daughter seems well on her way, having just gotten her first diploma and off tomorrow to a job interview.

None of us have ever had an ounce of intervention, and, until very recently, never really had a clue as to why the world was such a strange place. Your child has the advantage of you having some sort of indication that he's having trouble interacting with the world. The label that gets put on it is not nearly so important as your helping him to understand that there's nothing "wrong" with him. But that he's not like everyone else.

He needs to know that he may perceive things differently that most people around him, and learn some strategies for getting along with others, and society and "the rules" that he won't see around him that everyone else does. It's good that you worry about him, but don't let that cause you to smother him. Find things he can do and be good at - give him things at which he can succeed and let him fail when he fails. Sometimes the most important things you can do is just turn around and look the other way when your kid insists on sliding down the slide headfirst and ends up with a bloody nose. Some of us learn best by doing. Sometimes we repeat the lesson several times before it sinks in.

You might, if the specific diagnosis is bothering you all that much, take your child to someone else who is very familiar with Aspergers and see what they think. I wonder, sometimes, about my own diagnosis. I didn't speak until very late, and my IQ is up there. BUT I also had a lot of ear infections as a kid, and had a mother who was almost deaf, and was raised in a pretty peculiar manner (very scientifically, little physical interaction) so there were a lot of potential reasons for my not speaking until later. In the long run, though, for me, the difference between a label of HFA or Aspie just doesn't matter that much. The world is still a strange place and I still do not take for granted what a lot of people seem to. Best of luck to you with your child.

Oh. When in doubt, improvise. Do what works, not what's expected. That's the best advice I can give you. That and "when it ain't broke, don't fix it." If he's getting along ok, there's no reason to try to manipulate him. If he's having trouble with a specific situation, work on that until it's tolerable, then back off. Let him grow. Best of luck!

Nice to meet you, autmom08.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome autmom08!

I say send your child to therapy, but monitor him carefuly. If he feels bad about going, then forcing him isn't going to help any.

Welcome to WrongPlanet