Welcome to the Planet. I'm also a 30-year-old guy who's coming to grips with himself. I've known for most of my life that I'm somewhere on the spectrum, and it hasn't ever affected me as much as now. I feel like I'm leading two lives. In one life, I'm doing great: I'm living on my own, working in the field I've always wanted to work in. I have more friends than ever, and they're better than any I've ever had. But the flip side is, I've never felt more alone. I'm constantly thinking about how bad my work situation is. I'm not where I think I should be. I have almost no self-esteem anymore (not a plus when you're job-hunting), I'm physically and emotionally drained, I can't concentrate...and I don't want to bother my friends with it all because they have better things to do, I think. So I stew in my own juices and fester about things while I try to scratch my way out of the shoebox I'm in. Typical neurosis? Spectrum disorder? I don't know. But I hope my situation makes you feel a little less alone.