Hi all

Post Reply New Topic

Hi everybody, I'm Scott.

I came to this forum at the recommendation of a local autism support group, and it looks like I've found the right place.

I'm undiagnosed, but at this point I'm 100% convinced that I have Asperger's. At 33, I've got a good job and a bright career ahead of me. I own my home, and generally everything about my life looks normal to the outsider....

To me, it's always felt like I'm just going through the motions for everybody else. I have to act all the time just to interact. Being myself just doesn't work. I don't form many close relationships, don't interact much with my co-workers, and generally feel like I'm invisible in social situations.

A year or so ago I heard about Asperger's and the list of symptoms really gave me pause. It was one of those "hey, that sounds like me" moments. Then I picked up a copy of "Look me in th eye" by John Robinson. Within an hour of starting to read it, I was ready to throw the book across the room. That's how shockingly similar my life (not the abuse part) was to what he experienced. Now I just need to figure out what comes next.

In spite of my own convictions, I think I'd really like to get officially diagnosed. But I don't really know where to start. I the little bit of skimming of this forum that I've already done I've noticed a few people talking about tests that sound like quickie online tests... That's as good of a starting place as any, where/how can I find one. Also, is there any kind of easy resource for local psycologists that deal specifically with Asperger's or Autism? The local support organization I mentioned didn't have any advice for me except "come to our group and ask". I'm really not ready for that yet.

Let's see, what else.... I guess that the only other thing I can say is that the area I have the most trouble with is relationships and dating. I basically don't date, but its not because I don't want to. I just don't understand social situations well enough to make or take opportunities up as they come along. I can't tell you how many of the "slap your forehead" surprise realizations I've had when I finally deciphered a girls body language and hints and figured out that she was interested and just waiting for me to make a move..... Usually, that happens weeks, months, or sometimes even years after she's left my sphere of influence..... Even when I do pick up on things, I get so wound up about what to do that I usually end up not doing anything. Or worse, I turn girls that I'm interested in into close friends because I can't seem to take things beyond that stage. I've been accused (by women that were interested enough in me to talk about it) of being "aloof", "too shy", "too chivalrous", "sociopathic", and "disinterested". None of those things are true, but from the outside looking in, I can see why people think that.

Well, that's me in a nutshell I guess.

Hi Scottydont welcome you have arrived at the "right" Planet

"I'm just going through the motions for everybody else. I have to act all the time just to interact."
I can so relate, well at least your be able to be you here...

Nice to meet you, Scott.

Hey Scott,

Welcome to WP. I have to say I get the same way when I realise action is needed from me - I get so wound up in the possibilities that I end up doing nothing. I have also had "slap your forehead" moments when I've realised, long down the track, that either a girl was interested in me or that a great opportunity came along that I had missed. Most often I'd come up with a really good comeback, hours, sometimes days, down the track.

Thanks for the warm welcome. Even knowing the fact beforehand, I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only person who has these problems.

Lately (for the last year or so) I've been trying a new tact and just telling people how much trouble I have with social situations whenever the subject comes up. It makes a good conversation starter, but I never seem to be able to drive the message home. Nobody really seems to take what I'm saying to heart. Maybe it's because I act a little too well....

welcome to WP

Hi, Scott!

Welcome to Wrongplanet!

I hope you enjoy posting here!

"To our planet, welcome!"

Welcome Scott!

Welcome Scott!
I'm new here too and I know how you feel!

Thanks again.

OK, random question (I might as well post it here)... Is there a reason that the back buttons seem to be disabled on this site? I keep forgetting and try backing up a few times before I click the thread links at the top of the page...

By the way, does anybody have any advice for seeking a professional diagnosis? I think that's the road that I'm going down at the point, but don't know where to start.

Hi Scotty. I actually had written a post to you but the system ate it. (New variation on the dog ate my homework, except true.)

Welcome to the club.

On the diagnosis - just a suggestion: The syndrome has pretty much only been acknowledged as existing for about 10 years. It won't have been part of the training of older professionals, unless they've specifically gotten updated training on spectrum disorders. I'm not really comfortable thinking that they've done so, the older shrinks. If it were me, I'd look for a relatively new (maybe not brand new) professional or a clinic that specializes in spectrum disorders that might be associated with a teaching hospital or university. I wouldn't just pop into a psychologist who's name I got out of the phone book or who helped my menopausal cousin with her marital issues.

If we had some idea where you live, geographically, perhaps someone could offer specific advice? If you were an ozzie, I know Nannarob and Smelena could give you names....

Good luck.

PS - On the "too, too" schtick. If you were NT it would be that you were too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, too poor, too self-absorbed, too hairy, too bald, too macho, too wimpy, too liberal, too conservative..... No matter "what" you are, you're gonna be "too" to somebody!

You are very welcome!

I've only been here two days, and the dog has already eaten my homework once! I figured it was just me....

I live in Northern AZ (Flagstaff). If there are any other "locals" around, I'd love their input on where to go. I didn't have much hope for that since its a relatively small city, but I was hoping that maybe there was a database of specialists somewhere that I could use to find an appropriate professional.

And unfortunately, all of my "too too's" seem to follow the same trend... I'd roll them all into the "you're not assertive enough" category if somebody asked me what I thought..... although I have been called too short recently (I'm 5'9" by the way). I'm still trying to figure out a cure for that one. Yoga is supposed to help by improving posture and reducing the stress. I always catch myself "bunching up" in social situations. I just need to psych myself into giving it a try....

Hello Scotty and welcome.

...I think I am in a similar place as you. 30 years of age and I only started reading up on Asperger's about a month ago, though and joined WP a week ago. For me it's been a very relieving to find out that after all, I probably am not normal, so I can stop pretending.

I don't plan on giving up and going on welfare, but I definitely plan to think carefully about where I'm headed...

Before I go and run around shouting "I'm an aspie!! ! I'm an aspie!! !!" I'll go and get a diagnosis, though

Best of luck to you on finding someone to give you a diagnosis!