New, undiagnosed, and unsure.

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I recently learned that my son was diagnosed HFA/AS, and as I've read copiously about the spectrum... I was overwhelmed with the familiarity, the memories, the situations frozen in time. After spending some years trying to understand myself, I now find something that I can relate to that without his own experience would never have crossed my path of exploration. I'm having difficulty finding someone in Arizona with which to discuss and explore my situation. Reading the experiences of others here has been both reassuring and confusing; I hope to learn more from each of you.


M.

Nice to meet you, makuranososhi.

welcome....

I think the number way most adults find out they are AS is when their children are DXed. Now, if the scienstist would just start including us in their research and further understanding of the spectrum instead of writing us off as "out grew it" or "unimportant".

Thank you. At this time, I am unable to be a part of my son's life, so I am learning much vicariously through others. When I re-read my evaluations for elementary school, reports and assessments... it seems to clear to me now, but 25 years ago in a town of about 600 it wasn't something that would have even been considered - didn't 'exist', as it were, so I was told that my inability to socialize, especially within my own age range, was due to 'difficulties stemming from a gross disparity in intellect'. Strangely, the difficulty for me is growing more intense as I'm growing older... unable to cope with things in the same way that I have in the past, and it is causes some serious problems in my life as it progresses. One decidedly non-aspie trait that I do possess is unwavering eye contact... without it I have extreme difficult in reading the intentions and expressions of others.

Actually, I don't think eye contact is even part of the offical DX, just something very common for people with AS and part of general inability to read nonverbal communication. I think Wikki (Aspergers),has the 8 traits of the DX and you only have to have 1 in one group of 4 and 2 in the second group of 4. Some people have all 8 or only a few but more intensly then others. I think it accounts for some of the diversity you see in AS people. Although AS can skip generations, I think it is very genetic and almost anyone on the spectrum will be able to identify plder family members or their children share many traits.

Actually, I have been pretty obsessed with AS for the past to years and am getting increasingly frustrated by the lack of research dealing with adult Aspergers. It seems that certain sutism groups are so fixated in the idea that vaccines "caused and epidemic" that they are unwilling to believe that is has always been around and many adults have had to live with it (and prior misDX's).

Welcome to WP!

Agreed, while it's not a defining characteristic, it occurs with such concordance that it is a common sign or shared response what what I have read and experienced while teaching students who fall under the various spectrum disorders. My fixation is relatively new, as I jut found out about his diagnosis in the past month, although I've spent years trying to uncover the root of my own inabilities to interact with others, to be function in a 'traditional' work environment, et al... I'm hesitant to define it as a NT-relation issue until I am able to find someone to work with and am diagnosed myself; seems odd to appropriate a label when I am still unsure of my own place in the scenario. There are so many changes in the world that it is difficult to consider one environmental factor as the sole cause; I would rather think that such things have perhaps exacerbated or caused an existing condition to become more severe or shift modalities. I'm at my wits end trying to get some informed assistance... the last psychiatrist told me that "Autism spectrum disorders are only diagnosed in children; you're bipolar." That sort of ignorance is mindboggling, to say the least.

A side question: Are there any other composers out here?


M.

you might find them in the art, writing and music forum. There seems to be many people who play instruments but I'm not sure about composers.

Hi makuranososhi welcome to the "right" planet

I was diagnosed last year and soon after found my son to be on the autism spectrum also, we have always had a special bond and now know why

Hi!

Welcome to Wrongplanet!

I hope you enjoy posting here!

Hey I agree Krex no offence to people at WP but it assumes it seems to be about young children with AS but how about adults? I'm understanding my behavior more and understand I have alot of AS traits and believe I have AS. I didn't get help as a child and the person who help me understand I had it was wait for it.....

MY OLDER SISTER!! !! !! !! !! ! The Psychiatrist blew me off saying I still had Bipolar and that AS is something diagnosed by a child Psychiatrist! I think it's good that some adults such as myself are understanding there behavior issues and have an answer for them which is AS. It shouldn't be all about children ADULTS CAN HAVE AS WITHOUT KNOWING IT!! !! ! I'm sorry for caps etc. but am just mad that it's all about children.

Residual bias; medicine always seems to drag behind, adhering to the belief that something only exists in the population it was originally encountered in. My psychiatrist just blew me off as well, telling me it was something that was found in children. <! !! !!> After the appointment as I was driving home, I almost exploded from the frustration.

I would really like some feedback from each of you on your own thoughts, based on what I'm experiencing:

* Difficulty in associating with others, originating in early childhood. I started using online communication in 1983 on a 300 baud 7E1 connection, dialing into GEnie.
* Extreme fixations. This site could be an example, as I've spent about 8 hours on here since signing up last night. Also - in childhood, at the ages of 5 and 6, I read every book at the high school library on mythology and astronomy. Be forewarned - if you bring up music, art or cinema, be prepared to stay on that subject awhile.
* Frequent GI issues and headaches without identifiable causation.
* Struggle in functioning outside of identified roles or expectations. Strangely, I find myself comfortable teaching as my position is clearly defined and I am keenly aware of what is required; on the flip side, cooking is a wretched experience for me unless I know the recipe well.
* Inability to cope with unexpected change. If I'm aware that something will be changing, then I can generally find coping mechanisms. Sudden shifts can elicit inappropriate rage-type reactions; these can also be brought on by frustration in communication with others.
* Confusion over friendships and romance I'm finding more and more as I'm getting older that many of those relationships were somewhat one-sided or imbalanced.
* Misinterpreting conversation or actions. Consistently oblivious to flirting and humor.
* Employment. Finding work is a challenge; keeping it is like grasping water. Misunderstanding, outbursts of frustration, inconsistent time management all have contributed to the problem.
* Lack of a sense of time and resolution. Sometimes I have to remind myself that something happened twenty years ago, as it is still vivid and fresh in my mind.
* Impatient with inane conversation, people not listening when I am speaking to them, et al, to an excessive degree.
* Depression permeating each day, largely due to a sense of being out of place, unable to connect or make myself understood, or simply from so many years of trying to fit in and failing.

There is much more, but those were some of the more salient points that I wanted to be sure to discuss. I'm trying to find a doctor who has experience in diagnosing adults who have ASDs, but would really appreciate the feedback from those who have been there themselves.


M.

Zelda...there are a group of us "oldsters" in the Dino Cafe here,(you can find it in a thread under "Getting To know Us". It is a bit more chit-chatty then I personally prefer but they are nice people and sometimes talk about how AS effects them now and and the past. There are several other adults here(some looking for help for their AS kids who also have AS) and others but many also work, so they don't post as much as the younger kids here.


Maku.....I switch GP's after mine claimed to know about aspergers and then told me I couldn't be one cause I could talk I decided that was a bad sign(claiming knowledge she didn't have and then got angry when confronted about it). Originally, she just wanted to give me an increase in antidepressants but finally wrote a referral for me to see a specialist and then literally, stormed out of the exam room....how professional.


The traits you describe are similar to mine. I collect objects(rocks, art,music,books,movies,fossils,antiques,color and texture) and information. I use to try and collect people but they would never stay on the shelf . Asperger has probably been my number one obsession for the past two years but I have never lost my interest in the arts, geology, history,nature,psychology and crafting. Since they look at "obsessions" in children and more obvious (savant) adults...the experts seem to think that we only have ONE focus...not true. I have the same one's I did as a kid but they have expanded and changed more then most NT's I know. I need constant intellectual stimulation. I'm no genius and have some learning difficulties, (dyslexia and retaining some information). I wasn't blessed with the memory of some aspies. My recall is for concept and not specific words/numbers.


I loved Greek mythology and Greek letters so much as a kid that I took Greek language class in grade school but found it boring...it was the myths and shape of letters I was fascinated with, not speaking it.


I had IBS since I was around 12, I think it is worse when I consume milk, so I avoid that now. I think consuming diet soda for so many years made it worse and excluding that has helped me. I do believe that people with AS may have some immune functions that need more investigation. I don't think it would make us "not autistic" as Autism Speaks believes but I do think it might effect the degree of some of our sensitivities. Also, digestive problems can lead to vitamin deficiencies, so I recommend a good multi-vitamin, B100 complex and Omega 3 to help with this side effect.

Headaches can be from allergies, which I believe are common in AS and stress of trying to function in a world that was not created for our neurology...to much sensory stimulation, trying to communicate with people who speak a different language are very stressful. I avoid it as much as I can.

I have no problem completing very specifically defined task...the problem is when they are vague. This can be paralyzing. If someone says clean up the room, I am at a loss. If they say vacuum the carpet and organize the books...I'm fine.


Change can cause some of my most embarrassing meltdowns. If I want to go to a restaurant and they are out of my favorite(and usually only) food, I will leave and be very angry. I know I am acting irrationally and it does eventually pass but at that moment, I feel like I want to scream.


I stopped trying to develop friendships long before I learned about AS. It was simply to confusing and frustrating. I drank for 10 years to tolerate human interaction but when I decided that was bad for me, I stopped being able to be in crowds. The only exception is my current BF who I believe is AS or at least shares enough traits to let me be as I am. Prior to him, I had many relationships that I felt I gave more then I got...it eventually appeared to be a bad investment and most of my special interests are solitary anyway, which always caused problems. They wanted to go socialize, I wanted to go rock hunting....bad mix.

I can't flirt but I love humor. I just seem to "get it" more in literature then human conversation.

Employment is my biggest issue and the reason I originally began reading about As and eventually went for a DX. I was hoping that since I had finally found out what was causing so many of my difficulties, I would be able to get employment help...I was wrong. There is no specific help for adults on the spectrum. It is the same as for other individuals who are seeking employment and does not address my particular problems.

Time...I have lost so much time while engaged in "special interests and day dreaming...ie thinking" that I wondered for a while if I might have multi-personality disorder...where did those 10 hours go? I also don't seem to have a good memory for time specific events. I can't tell you the year something happened but I can describe the interior of the house I lived in at the time or the guy I was dating that year. This can be pretty embarrassing as I will say...I was sick a few years ago and it may have been 10 years or two months. I think this can make it appear that I am lying....so I try to stay vague on dates.


Yep, I recall clearly being in social situations and thinking..."I wish I was home creating or reading". It does get frustrating having to keep trying to find new ways of explaining something to people in a way they can understand, most times I give up.


I get depressed the most thinking about just doing the "making a living" thing. How many more years of this...I try and block these thoughts out. The rest of my life, my interests and my current relationship seem pretty good...it is the work thing that is killing me. More frustrating is that I like to "do", I just can't seem to find the right job that allows me to play on my strengths and excepts my weaknesses, (they are legion,lol).


Good luck finding an expert in adult AS...it may take awhile to get into to see one, so don't delay making an appointment..you can always cancel if you change your mind.

Wow...almost ALL of your posts have left me slack-jawed or laughing my be-hind off Have I hit upon the jackpot or WHAT!

Ok, here it is...I have a 5 yr old son who was recently diagnosed as HFA..come to find out (around same time questions were raised about his behavior ~ being new in a preschool setting) my darling Husband was dx'd as a child with Autism! Go figure Of course that sparked a flurry of web-searching on Autism, Aspergers et all. The more I read.....the more I recalled how *I*was as a child (and behaviors that as you all know just do NOT disappear) ack

Here I am nearing my 40th b-day and discovering, wow, I really am different! ok, not really the whole reaction, but this will suffice for now I think the very biggest part that hits is this......now I know WHY I never ever seem to "fit in"......anywhere......for more than oh, say 5 min.

Oh, hey.....on the whole "mood" thing....recently a friend of mine directed me to trying sublingual (liquid) B complex. Might I say...wow. I'm even giving some (like half dose) to my son & it does seem to help him.
ever try to describe someone elses' progress/effects of cert things (say the B complex) when you've troubles enough keeping track of your own

Anywho.......Thanks for reading..... I'm always up for new cyber-friendships......so feel free to respond and/or PM me
Toodles for now
willow

To WrongPlanet!! !