On being positive - how positive are you?

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A few random comments that might or might not help some, as I've got to start devoting time to studies again. But...

One thing I've found very easy is laughing at myself, and laughing with people, rather than thinking they are laughing at me. I will readily admit that on the spectrum I'm a borderline Aspie, though I do exhibit a lot of the same traits you all have. But, I wonder how positive others have been, and if being positive about oneself might help alleviate some problems.

A professor of mine in college does lots of reseach on "inner voice" - how we talk to ourselves and what we think of ourselves. And, he has found it's very important in our lives.

I have always had a very positive attitude. I guess part of it's the Charlie Brown influence - no matter what happens, he's out there flying that kite or pitching that ball or something right away again. Part of it is my family - always very positive and encouraging, believing I could do anything, being that way because of my vision but also ending up helping me to overcome whatever AS I might have. Part of it is my friendships - Angela and a few others early who took the time to care, to play the silly way I did on the playground, and so on.

But, how many of you would say your inner voice is telling you "I can do this," or "I can be friendly with that person eventally." I'll admit, it's sometimes tough for me to know how to keep a conversation going after a while - and, at times I need that "stuffed animal" inner voice telling me I'm doing a good job and to keep it up. But, when I'm in a crowd of people and we're all laughing and playing games or something, I'm just not as self-conscious as some might be.

Maybe I'm just rambling here. And, maybe it really wouldn't help anyone else because some people might need to develop a positive self-notion from scratch. But, overall, how positive would you say you are?

Maybe it's really a question about how much is nature, how much is nurture? Maybe I'm like the borderline pro who finds just the right coach, gets into just hte right situation, and becomes a star. It happens. But, maybe it's possible, even if one needs to train oneself, to say, "I can do this, I can be friends with him, I can be successful in this, and if they laugh I'll laugh too, because I'm human and that means I'm funny. It's not bad to mess up, it's downright funny."

Just thought of the analogy of Peter being told to step out of the boat to meet Christ ont he water. And he did step out - and throught he storm took a step or two ont he water to meet Jesus, till he took his eye off Jesus. That makes sense, I guess - to those with more severe AS, perhaps it's like stepping out of that boat. You can only keep your focus on the positive for so long just like Peter, being human, couldn't take many steps because he couldn't keep his eye on Jesus the whole time.

I could see that being it. After all, I've always had a lot of faith. Not enough to walk on water But enough to perhaps do, because of many aspects working together, what others in my situation can't. However, maybe positive thinking and that inner voice can make a difference with some.

It is something that always amazes me how individual each of us are, and how different and special God made each one.

I know not about god, but as for me, I am neutral in feelings most of the time, when it comes to others my lack of good experiences and knowing what to say without rambling on about what subjects I do know gets in the way of my caring to make further efforts at contact with new people. I used to try and force my self to learn to become social but found that for all basic purposes I was not cut out for it seemingly always misreading others and them me. eventually its a burn-out trying to force a meek kitten to be a tiger when most of the other tigers would eat the kitten alive in the wrong settings when the kitten was not built for it.

I try to keep a positive outlook on the future, but in general I'm very bitter and tend to concentrate on the negatives. I have been since I was little.

On the other hand, I do love to laugh, especially about myself.

negative. definitely

i suspect its because i have trouble indentifing the positives because often they dont exist

I'm strange. I can be very negative one moment and very positive the next. Most children in my situation would be happy though: My parents make an great amount of money each year, my father is a pediatrician and my mom is an artist, I have my own eMac, and have won 25 ribbons, 3 lapel pins, 13 medals, a trophy and a $1000 check over the course of my life through field day, school knowledge competions, national competitions and AS summer camp.
Yet I can be very negative about things. I think I show a vulnerable amount of naîveté, and I am very blunt. I am positive if something has to do with my obsessions, or if I meet another aspie (which usually only happens at Camp Kodiak, whose campers are often with mild disabilities including AS), but I find that I have formed a vicious cycle: I feel lonely, so I give off negative energy through using sesquipedalians (long words) and explaining in detail what they mean, then everyone is annoyed and no one wants to be around me, so I feel lonelier. Then the whole cycle starts all over again.

Well, that's all I have to say.

I guess I have my ups and downs. I suspect I may have an undiagnosed case of cyclothymia (a mild form of bipolar disorder) rather than schizophrenia...

I don't really care for the company of most people - most of my friends are all a few years older than I am. I guess that I go crazy sometimes, but that could be a bit of sensory overload...

I, in general, used to be very pessimistic, but I've decided, 'Oh [censored] it,' and decided to actually live the best I can.

Being positive is the best i can do, after all, "All I got left in this world is my word and my ba**s."
A

I live that way now, too. When I was in school I used to let stress build up inside me for an extraordinarily long time and then explode and do stupid (life-threatening) things. I was constantly depressed and anxious. In the last few years I've taken the "litany against fear" from Dune and adapted as my mantra against stress: "I must not stress. Stress is the mind-killer. Stress is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will turn my back on stressful situations and let the feelings of fear or anger wash past me and away from me. Some things aren't worth fighting for." My bf says I take things *too* easily and he gets mad when he thinks I've let someone take advantage of me just to avoid confrontation, but *I* sleep better at night because of it.

I'm an abject defeatist, always have been...... "He who lives in hope, dies in despair" is the maxim by which I (kinda) live my days......

"That's all for tonight folks! On next week's edition of 'Positivity Today' we discuss self-delusion......"

i guess those that set high expectations are often disappointed and those that have low expectations are often surprised. Heres a quote i came across:
"100% of the shots you don't take go in."
-Wayne Gretzky

Set your expectations to whatever you want, but at least take a shot at it
A

Awwwwwwww...... But I don't wanna......

quit whining tafkash
A

I'm not posistive all the time. I try to keep a realistic outlook on life. Sometimes that involves being a little negative. I think that people who are too positive often get disappointed and people who are too negative never achieve anything, especially happiness. I think staying somewhere in the middle is the best bet.

Bump

Since being diagnosed and allowing myself to be different - well who I am, I have become much more positive and things really have started to change, happen.... take control and do rather than think about

I have my dark moments like everyone else, but at least can think about the good I am doing in those times and helps me turn things around...

I have never been a very positive person, as odd as that sounds. I enjoy humor, and making other people happy.
But I tend to have negative thoughts.
Its something I've started working on though.
I aspire to be more upbeat and satisfied with life.

People who are positive are living better, you know?
There is no reason to be gloomy. Even if its my default, I want to change that.

I've found that even faking happiness helps.
When feeling particularly half empty....
I force my self to smile.
A great bit smile.
And a fake little laugh.

And soon, it rubs off on me and I feel happy again.

Surrounding myself with happy people also helps.
Teen aged girls = The giggle affect.

Best medicine for depression ever.