Hi, I'm new on this site, from South Africa

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Hi All,

I am 56 years old, and have only realised during the last year or so that I might be suffering from Asperger's sindrome. I have not had any formal diagnosis, only my own observations, and those of my family members.

If you don't mind, I would like to tell you my life's history, and would appreciate your opinions:

As a child, I always preferred my own company, rather than being part of a group. According to my mother, I was slow to start talking. During my school years my writing was always a problem, with my teachers complaining about my indecipherable handwrirting. I also had a problem with my speech, and had to undergo speech therapy to enable me to speak more clearly. Even today people sometimes find it difficult to understand me.

During my highschool years I also received physical therapy in an effort to improve my motor co-ordination, which was not very good, and was a direct cause for my illegible handwriting. During my university education I always had trouble finishing any written exam within the allotted time, and eventually received permission to have extended time in which to finish an exam.

I never had any meaningful relationships all through my highschool and university careers, mainly due to my poor social skills. I find it very difficult to act spontaneously around people I do not know very well.

I am not very talkative, and people that do not know me perceive me as unfiendly and aloof.

The reason for writing this is that recently my marraige was in serious trouble, because of my inability to show my affection towards my wife, although I love her dearly, and would find it very difficult to face life without her. My wife had long discussions with my youngest sister, who has a daughter who was formally diagnosed with Asperger's sindrome. We have since talked extensively about my problem, and have done a lot of research on the Internet regarding Asperger's, and as a result of this our relationship have improved significantly.

Approximately ten years ago, I did receive therapy for depression, but the possibility of Asperger's never came up during any of my therapy sessions, which extended over a period of approximately 18 months.

My symptoms are as follows:
Poor social skills.
Inability to express myself verbally.
Poor motor co-ordination. (I find it almost impossible to play any arcade-type video game).
One-track mind. (Can only focus on one thing at a time, to the exclusion of all else).
Gets very flustered and jittery when forced to concentrate on more than one thing at a time.
Gets on much better with animals than with people.
I am very gullible, and will always believe people are telling the truth.
Inability to show affection spontaneously.
I do not like crowded places, makes me very edgy.
I have always been described as a loner.

Over the years I have learnt to live with my condition, and have managed to have a reasonably successful career as a chemical engineer. I managed to develop some niche skills in the process simulation field which makes me a useful asset for my present employer.

Lately, however, I have been experiencing significant mood swings, which affects my relationships with the people I love, especially my wife. I sincerly hope that my participation in this forum will help in returning peace and tranquility to our lives.

I would appreciate your opininions very much, and thank you very much for being so patient with me. As you can see, I am much better at writing (typing!) than talking!

Regards,

Hannes

Hi. Welcome to WrongPlanet. Hope you like it here.

I've always had an interest in South Africa, yet didn't fancy visiting as righly or wrongly it scares the crap outta me.

Hi Tequila,

Thanks for the welcome.

It is not as bad as it sounds here in South Africa. I agree, some things could be better (The crime rate, for instance), but overall it is not bad. The weather makes up for a lot of the bad stuff!

Cheers,

Hannes

Welcome to WP! I'm also from S.A. Where exactly in S.A are you from?

I see you have the beverage of kings in your username. What's the stuff like over there? Strong and cold, I suspect...?

I love SA! I've been to Capetown and Jo'burg. I"m considering taking a travel work assignment so I can live and work there for a few months!

Good to know there are people here from SA.

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to WP!

Tim

Welcome beer,

Tequila will not stop now till you tell us about Mild, Bitter, Stout, and other important stuff.

By the way, you have Aspurger's. The cure only works on people under 55. So hang out on Wrong Planet.

You really should do something about staying married. You may not speak well, but that is why men buy flowers and chocolate. A man with chocolate and flowers can mumble.

Being really rotten at expressing ourselves in real life we do Ok till anything changes, and we are the last to know, it causes mood swings, because we fail to express our true feelings.

Go all out, which for us is still slow, find a non-crowded place to take her to dinner and maybe a little dancing, try not to step on her toes. She will know you are trying. Dress up for her, treat her like you are going to church, or to court, the ladies like to dress, and dinner is cheaper than buying her a car.

You are a Chemical Engineer. Chocolate and flowers, dressing up, dinner and dancing, affect the female chemistry. Focus your one track mind on her for a few hours. Learn important things like what color her eyes are. There will be a test. If she wears perfume, notice and say you like it. What you think is not important.

You have no future as a loner, work on what you have. You are twenty years behind on feelings for your wife, That Woman is a Saint! If you have not been bringing her candy and flowers as often as you change the oil in your car you are way behind. What does she want to do on your days off? Do it!

If you learned one thing in school it was you need extra time to finish exams, wives are a test. Treat important things like they are important.

hello Beer and welcome to WP
sorry if we don't dive right into your biography above, but -as you will find out- we all have the same bio, give or take a few experiences. after a while you, too, amazing as it may seem, will see it as almost 'normal' for where you are, an Asperger's Syndrome hangout.

you are probably more normal and understood here than anywhere you have ever been, Beer and welcome as we all are.



Merle

hi man, welcome, nice nick by the way

G'day beer (Hannes) and welcome to WP.

So you would not be a Roinek? I didn't think there were any whitemen left in Suid Afrika (them all moving to Perth, Sydney & Melbourne) My uncle lived in Durban and married a Rhodesian (her brother is still on a farm there).

My story sounds much like yours (but I would guess my motor skills are better and I didn't get speech therapy that I needed).

Do you have any kids?

My 2 boys play Rugby Union (both No.8 - big kids). We are not a rugby State (Aussie Rules is the main game) but their school is a rugby school. Quite a few Sth African kids and teachers/coaches at the school.

I don't think they have mild in foreign parts anymore - even my local has stopped selling it on cask. No, the foreign way is the lager way.

Welcome to WP Hannes!
I can relate to what you're saying...I had terrible handwriting which was described as hieroglyphic...in fifth grade I got special summer vacation assignments to transcribe texts in large, comprehensible printed letters...I used to have bad balance but I think dancing helped me build up my coordination skills....Anyway, it's a blessing that you have a wife...I hope everything works out between you too, and that you enjoy posting in WP...

Hello!

I am from Hartbeespoort, west of Pretoria. (At the Hartbeespoort Dam)

Yes to both counts. The average alcohol content of our beers is in the order of 5%-6%, and we like it well chilled.