I think I'm an aspergian and I just really messed up.

Post Reply New Topic

Hi welocme to the "right" planet

Society loves putting us into neat little boxes, its just we do not fit - we push boundaries, and expand the world of the narrow minded...

Nice to meet you!

Couple things:

You don't sound all that inhuman. Many of your concerns sound like those of any 23 year old. I am 42 now, but at 23.... I could have sounded much like that. You will learn as you go that work is not usually the best place to meet people with whom to date. Bars are bad too.... but at least you don't have to see those people again every morning at 8:30. Friends of friends are good. So... let's make you a couple of friends. (Remember... even NTs experience self-doubt and anxiety about meeting people and dating. We have no lock on that.)
You may need a couple stray hobbies that are a little less intense... this would give you common ground with those of us who won't be inventing theorum provers.
Feminism: A "true" feminist wouldn't presuppose that a man is somehow bad simply because he is a man. This is sexist and they are usually evolved past that. Pro-woman should not equal anti-man.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Thanks for the encouragement and advice everyone.

I knew even before I started that talking to someone from work about this could be a really bad idea, but I was so sure about her that I didn't listen to that. Unfortunately things are even worse now. The girl didn't say anything at all to me about AS after I came out and told her that I had it and thought she'd had it too, and as the week went on I kept getting the feeling that I was right after all and she was just in shock. The way she observed me from a distance and shut out the world to think--well, I thought it all pointed to one conclusion. So I ended up saying more stuff to her. But I _was_ wrong. She's like me in that she has issues of some sort that she hides, but I think that it has nothing to do with AS. And now she knows that I feel faintly superior to regular people, is angry at having had her privacy violated, and is depressed at being reminded that she doesn't quite fit in. I've apologized and promised not to bring this up again, and she thanked me for that, but certainly any chance of even a friendly atmosphere at work is gone. At least for quite a while.

Unfortunately I think I'm still kind of in love with her. It's as if the fact that she's so complex activated my instinct to internalize complex things, and now it's like she's in my head. And now I know I'm capable of love, but I don't see how I can forget her. But certainly I need to try. I'm meeting up with a friend from university this weekend to see a movie, so maybe I'll tell him about some of this. Come to think of it, he introduced me to a girl back in university. Maybe I'll try to get back in touch.

I mostly put my theorem prover on hold for the last week. But I'm not really sure what I want to do about it yet. I'm starting to think that it was just a coping mechanism and that even if anything comes of it it'll just be by coincidence. Yet it's very close to being done--assuming that's not a moving target, which it could easily be--so I'm not sure I can give it up yet without forever wondering what would've happened if I hadn't. I think that maybe I need to do the last steps and promise myself that if it turns out to be a moving target then I'll stop.

You seem very sensitive and intelligent. Why are you afraid to tell people what you really think? Don't worry about her and work.
Tomorrow is another day. I bet if you just be yourself, she'll like you...maybe as a friend, maybe more...but that situation sounds like it sucks, sorry, good luck!

Also, maybe you are just projecting who you are onto her. Maybe she is a complete idiot who is just a little on the nervous side.
Maybe she is a lesbian, maybe she is an aspie and is in shock, it sucks to first learn about it but if you told her that you are like that then I'm sure any normal person would not be offended by it. In fact if she were normal she would befriend you and secretly pity you too.
I'm analyzing this way too much aren't I? Is it possible that you might be over analyzing it as well?

Oh and one more thing, it is much more common for autistic people to have ESP. So, you might be keying into her.
In my opinion, she probably is not a normal. But, take that with a grain of salt.

Some thoughts ...

1. People in general do not like to be psychoanalyzed by others

2. The emperor was on top of the world when people were fawning over his new clothes -- not so much when they told him he was naked

3. If you are going to reveal something personal about yourself (e.g., AS), and you are not sure how it will be taken, do so in a confident, self-deprecating manner (on second thought, the real answer is don't do it, especially at work)

Welcome