So how does this Asperger's thing work?

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Hi, my name is Jael and I am newly diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. I am 44 years old and you can't imagine how it feels to find out at this age why it is that I am so fundamentally different from everyone I know. THIS is why I express myself in formal language that makes me sound as though I stepped out of the 18th century! THIS is why I am so often obsessive about things that interest me. And most of all, THIS is why normal social interaction has always been impossibly difficult for me!
There's actually a NAME for this!

I work in the technology field - I was a programmer for years and now I am director of technology for my company. I'm looking forward to learning more about Asperger's and how to cope with it more effectively. Thanks!

Nice to meet you, Jael.

I'm 55 and just found out. I think it's great that so much now falls into place! I'm really relieved. And to find out that there are others learning to cope with this. Wow!

Congratulations! and Welcome!

You'll be surprised to find how many of us do know exactly how you feel. Since Asperger Syndrome wasn't even on the psychological radar until '94, more and more adults every day are discovering just as you have, the cause behind all those quirks we used to think were just our own personal deficiencies. I'm 49 and only heard of AS for the first time about four years ago. Welcome to the Aspergian refugee outpost on Terra.

Just wondering. What made you decide to go and get diagnosed so late in life? I'm 42 and I know I'm an aspie because I'm just like other family members who have been diagnosed, and because of what I've read etc.. However, when I was growing up Aspergers was not really recognised as a condition even though Hans Asperger had "noticed" us in the 40s.

If I'd been diagnosed as a child perhaps I would have got social skills training or something but I doubt they really bother with adults, or do they?

Apart from the realisation of why you are the way you are and why you have had certain difficulties, do you think there is a good reason for an adult to get officially diagnosed? Is there any help provided to people in middle age?

The only benefit for me is self-understanding...I have always been SO odd and different, and I've never understood what was wrong with me. I have never had a significant romantic relationship...ever. I have exactly one friend in the world. Even when I try to be sociable, it just doesn't have the desired effect - although I think I am saying and doing the same thing as everyone else, people react differently and I can see them withdrawing from me...it makes me want to ask "What did I do?" I just needed to know what was at the root of all that. I have learned to compensate pretty well at work, but social situations just baffle me. So I kept asking the medical folks what it could be...until someone recommended testing me for AS and that was it! I don't know if anything will change, but it's such a relief to finally have an answer.

Depends where you are. In the states, there's the Americans with Disabilities Act, which can help protect you from being fired or mistreated in the workplace just because you're different. Depending on your area and individual situation, you may qualify for government subsidies and such if you have difficulties in surviving economically on your own. etc. But you're eligible for nothing if you're not officially DXd.

I was DXed at 42 and am now 44. The reason I went for a DX is the hope that I could find help with finding a job that didn't stress me out so much. Still waiting to make an appointment with vocational rehab but I don't know if they will understand or be able to help. I don't really care about the "oddities" or socializing...I have a BF and that is all I need but the employment thing is slowly killing me. I know there has to be a job I can do but don't know how to find it and am very scared of interviews.

Good luck. It is very amazing realization, yes ?

Hi Jael I was diagnosed in my late 40s last year and have since learned my differences really are my strengths...

To WrongPlanet!! !

Hi Jael,
I discovered my AS as about your age. Yes, suddenly all the quirks came together into a recognizable picture. Ah ha!
It's good to discover at whatever age you are. There are some really great articles on this site which I hope you'll read that will help explain why NTs have so much trouble with us (I don't mean the bullies, I mean the good hearted NTs that can't put a finger on why we make them so uneasy).

Welcome to WP!

Welcome

It is such a relief to find out what's going on with yourself and to find a community of like-minded (pardon the pun) individuals.

I'm 35, and I never heard of Asperger's until a year or two ago (? My sense of time is practically non-existent).

Welcome to WP!