New recently diagnosed (and sort of relieved) Aspie

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Hello,

After many years of wondering what is wrong with me, I finally got the answer last week.

My story may not be that different from any other Aspie, I am just relieved that I can finally put a name on all my "abnormalities".

I am 36 y.o., married and have a new-born son. I live in Montreal, Canada and am French-Canadian (please, don't hold that against me).

I stumbled on the Asperger Disorder definition by accident while doing research on the web. I thought it described me in an uncanny way so I decided to get the diagnosis. Funny how things can happen, although my wife was suspecting some sort of autism disorder early on in our relationship, I just never cared to look into it.

I have a good job as a recruiter for one of the top firms in the world. I can sell jobs, talk to prospects, headhunt, go to clients meetings and manage contracts but outside a professional setting, I am totally screwed. I can't hold chitchatting and can`t be in crowds.

I always had jobs dealing with people so I guess that helped in some way, although, for example, I was totally inept in showing empathy. I once worked in a call center for some telco. I still recall to this day my boss coming at me and freaking out because I couldn't get the emotionnal cues from a customer, you could hear him complain and wanting some empathy and venting his frustration, it happened several times.... I couldn't get it. I was only focusing on the technical problems. "What's wrong with you?" my boss asked. I didn't have a clue. Good thing I finally quit.

I hated school and still do to this day. I got beaten up and bullied by gangs of jocks, with the whole school acting as spectators. So don't ask me if I like sports. It is a mean and cruel world out there. I have little trust in other people.

I did work on empathy with my wife, she is academically trained for that (guidance counsellor and psychologist) so it helped me a bit.

I did 2 suicide attempts and had a massive depression at 25 y.o., just because I wanted to understand, "fit in" and couldn't bare the pain of rejection and misunderstanding. All this time, no one had a clue that I had AS.

I got cancer 5 years ago and am in remission. It does suck but it gave me a new outlook on life.

I'm a music fanatic, it saved my life. It never let me down and it never backstabbed me.

So this is me. I hope to meet some great people here. I have no doubt that I will.

Welcome to WP!

When words fail... Music speaks, which reminds me, best not to concern yourself with Autism speaks, I fell into that needlessly disturbing trap.
Glad you found the answers.

Yup, thanks, i heard bad bad stuff about Autism Speaks.

Enough to not even surf their site.

Hi there,

Welcome Aintnowreck, ou bienvenue ici.

Your story is very recognizable.
I liked what you said about music, I've never been backstabbed by it, au contraire, life saving it is.

Best of luck to you,
Ceesjan

[quote]
Solum certum nihil esse certi, et homine nihil miserius aut superbius.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Congrats on finding out!
That makes one of us.

i always love reading about other aspies. people usually bore me but i find people here so much more interesting. its pity you didnt know earlier. i wish i knew. welcome to wp.

Thanks everyone, I do feel welcomed!

Merci Ceesjan!

Ain't, you could have been describing me for most of my Adolescence, I did play sports in school but I never fit in no matter what I tried. I just found out that I have Asperger's Syndrome just two weeks ago and it basically was a light bulb that went off in my head. I have been wondering why they didn't catch on to this sooner. It would have spared me and my family so much pain and suffering that we endured while I was growing up. The depression alone from not knowing had driven me mad. I would like to converse with all of you and finally understand that we are not alone.

Spruce

Nice to meet you, aintnowreck.

Hi Spruce and Jerry, thanks for your warm welcome.

Spruce: actually, I somehow said that I hate sports but I've always been a good slugger so I do like baseball (probably due to the fact that other students were thinking I'd suck when I proved the contrary... they were suddenly quite far in the field) and somehow basketball because of my height.

I really really tried to do my best in each and every sport I played in school but ended failing miserably.

I will probably not surprise you that I was always the last one picked to be part of a team.

But you know what? The superstar-football-jock from high school, who's future seemed so bright, is on welfare and drives a bicycle around town.

Who's the fool?

So there may be karma after all...

To WrongPlanet!! !

I'll converse with ya, Spruce.

Oh, and welcome ainnowreck! LOL. I seem to have forgotten to do that. Sorry.

Hi aintnowreck welcome, I can relate to much of what you say... music I feel saved me many times, as like yourself I became lost on and off for a long time.. how can others understand what we could not ourselves.. like you school never worked bullied, often feeling alienated from the world withdraw and tried to make sense... then I found Aspergers and its like the part that had always been missing, was found. As was I and a new found confidence and happiness, its does take time... but so many of us have to repair a life time of damage.... from life itself. I am now discovering my difficulties with my husband were from breakdown of truly understanding each other, we like you are building those bridges, but some think I feel no one should or can rush.

Welcome...