Hello community
I stumbled across this wonderful site and read the rules etc, and saw that this is the place to introduce one's self. If anyone answers or not, that's fine, but I think it's a good idea.
My name is Michael or Mike. I am 43 and live in a huge city in Australia. I have a great job, study, get fit, have some good friends, a house, about to get a car and generally have a supportive family, my sister especially.
However, since 1981 I have noticed how I have gotten OCD and a few other things. But my life has been characterised by poor relationships overall, misunderstandings and generally projecting out into the world an image where I am abused by others. I lost a 30 year friendship, the person I love and still do, my first career, my PhD (I am going back to do another) and had so much self blame and hatred.
I tend to collect things, have strict routines, but I do change them, memorise a lot of things etc. Now don't get angry because I consulted the Wikipedia but after reading that and ringing an Asperger's group I am starting to think that hey this might be why I get this constant problem.
I don't believe that my mum's passing triggered this (she went peacefully in May this year) but I have had two particular people in my life where I snapped at them and they embarked, and still are, doing almost a hate campaign on me.
One was Stephen, a man I truly liked, who I called annoying and he really went to town on me online. The other is a Jewish lady I work with who was ordering me around (she is at the same level as me in the organisation) and I thought it was bullying. My boss tried to dismiss me over this and my co-workers said I was rude and abrupt. One of my coworkers did say I was very focused on tasks - I tend to live in fantasy land a lot
Anyway, I have booked to have a diagnoses procedure done in 2009, but what saddens me is how I misunderstand people, and some animals, and they misunderstand me. I went to a group last week and one of the ladies said to me that I appear cold and distant yet when she got to know me it was like oh you are such a good person etc.
So anyway, reading the experiences of others, especially those that are younger, whilst I wait to get a formal reading of what I may or may not have, this site is great. The main thing is not so much oh you are not the only one but more, ok, this is real or may be real and i'm not a failure, stupid, should kill myself etc. I seem to be able to function ok in society and stick to the norms of Australian society, but when I go out with people I just look at their behaviour and go, this is not me. I would rather be at home studying etc.
Anyway, bottom line is, at this moment in time as I write on a beautiful August winter day in Australia, I am at least comforted by reading the thoughts and views of those who have what they have and look forward to sharing things with anyone on this wrong planet )
Regards and best wishes
Mike
Australia