Hi -- think I may be an Aspie (or maybe PDDie)

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My marriage has been having problems for quite some time, but it was only a few weeks ago we discovered what Aspergers was and that I probably have it. I am going in for an assessment and starting with a pshco-therapist with a background in AS.

I guess I can be classified as "high achieving". I am engineer making a great living. Thanks to a mentor or two over the years who took me under their wing and taught me the rules of the workplace I was able to turn myself around from the "innapropriate" comments to one of the best achievers and industry experts in my speciality.

I pretty much have the work problems solved but the personal are killing me. As if not being able to properly "read" my wife and kids is bad enough, she doesn't "feel" any passion from me. No matter how may times I tell her I love her, she doesn't believe it. No matter how loud the symphonies inside me are when I see (and touch) her, all she hears is a weak triangle dinging. It is killing our sex life because she just can't get into not feeling passion from me. She is literally the love of my life yet the emotions I feel don't come through.

Have any of you dealt with this? How do you overcome people not being able to read you? Other then use of a bull horn, any thoughts on getting through to her?

have you been peeking in my window?... I can relate, especially to a wife who avoids nouns and pronouns like the plague..

On the serious side, it's extremely frustrating. The point is that there has to be some movement by both parties on reconciling. She has to be educated to an understanding of how the symptoms influence how you work; and you can try what I do (which probably doesn't work, but I try), which is to try to memorize 'rules' for situations. It does tend to make me a bit rigid, especially when I wind up in situations where the 'rules' aren't established.

I honestly don't have an answer (I get divorce threats every so often), but if you find the answer, there's more than one of us out there who'd like to know.

Welcome to WP!