hi - undiagnosed aspie, pretty sure.

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hi, i go by tao, and i'm a 23-yo female for those confused. my name is an alteration of tinuviel from tolkien's writings about middle earth. the use of "tao" has nothing to do with eastern religion, i just liked the sound for it. i'm big into tolkien.
i type in lower case when i'm down, otherwise i type just about perfectly.
i'm diagnosed with major depression, severe, recurrent. also dx-ed with borderline personality disorder, but i don't think it was correct and know it's not relevant now. i have a strong tendency towards being suicidal, affected mostly by chemical imbalance and severe loneliness/emptiness.
i've never had friends and couldn't understand connecting socially. i couldn't figure it out, my family just thought i must have been mean to others, but i wasn't. social interactions just don't make sense to me, i feel like i'm missing something i can't even identify. i heard about asperger's, and found the descriptions fit me almost entirely, the dsm-iv criteria on 1 are me exactly, though the ones on 2 are a little rougher on the match, but i identify with one or two. so i'm pretty sure this is what's up with me.
i'm going to look into having a professional evaluate me for it, but aside from giving me an explanation for my struggles i don't think it'll actually help anything. i'm pretty hopeless lately. :-/
so, hi

Welcome!

Welcome to WP!

Nice to meet you, tao.

Welcome. A diagnosis will help, trust me.

Welcomeeee~~Desu

Hi Tao and welcome to the wrongplanet. I think it sounds like a good idea for you to get a diagnosis. If you do have Asperger's, even though there is no cure, there are little strategies that you can learn to help you out. I have Asperger's and I am currently involved in sessions in order to help me with some issues. I feel very positive about it. Anyway, enjoy the website. I hope you find it interesting and informative.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Magliabechi.

you hve good tastes!

thanks

Tolkien and C.S.Lewis fan here.

Getting the diagnosis is the beginning of figuring out your personal history and how much you screwed up and how much wasn't your fault and what you can do to shine with your strengths and work around your weaknesses. It won't happen instantly, but eventually you will become comfortable in your skin. Or at least so it happened for my. I also get treatment for my co-morbid depression and enjoy being able to feel normal emotions and think rationally again. I hate being irrational which is what depression does for you.

All that to say this: Hi, and, I wish you well.

Hi, Tao! I also have major depression and this evil doctor I had in a mental hospital suspected I had Borderline PD. She even wrote it down as my Axis II diagnosis or something (my axis 1 diagnosis is Bipolar I Disorder).


Welcome to WP! There are lots of people with diagnoses like yours here, and many more people as well with different diagnoses.

welcome, I love tolkien too

Welcome aboard Wrong Planet, tao.

Helloooo.... good to meet you!

If you feel as though you fit the criteria for AS, a diagnosis will help a great deal.... it will help you understand who you are and ultimately give you permission to be yourself. As it is a recognised condition things can be put in place to help you cope. I'm 25 and I got diagnosed three weeks ago (!). I told my bosses at work. They were understanding and have helped me out so much, and I see the improvement already. It has been a great relief more than anything, but I still struggle and get stressed at times. I am getting help in finding strategies to cope with it. Changes won't happen overnight, but as my friend says "A river is made a drop at a time".

Here is a quick story for you if you're ever feeling down.
A lecturer was trying to get a point across to his students. He had a new, crisp £50 note in his hand and held it up and asked "who wants this?" All the hands in the lecture hall went up.
He then crushed the note and stamped on it until it was dirty and crumpled. He picked it up and unfolded it. He asked his students again "Who wants this note?" Still the hands went up.
So the professor asked "Why do you want it? It's dirty and crushed!". One of the students replied "It's still worth £50!"
"Exactly!" Said the professor "So, it's the same with us. No matter what you've been through in life, no matter who you are, you are still a person of value - never forget that!"

Hope things get better for you! Keep me posted on what happens.

Welcome!