A breakhrough

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Hi everybody,

I’ve recently found out about Asperger’s and what my doc told me, internet research and reading Tony Attwood’s book became one of the most liberating experience in my life. My parents always considered me just a little shy and quiet and kept repeating that thing will be just fine if I tried harder and “pulled myself together”. I did try – without much success - but since I had very good grades in school and didn’t cause any trouble, nobody made a big deal out of it until I had a severe meltdown. At 17, I refused to go to school anymore and almost managed to kill myself; after that, all hell broke loose.

I’ve came a long way since then, finished my studies and made a life for myself (without any kind of help or support from my family) and I developed a lot of “coping” techniques and mechanisms that made social life easier and my “weird” ways seem less obvious to others. But I’m afraid I kept considering all the things that make me different as shortcomings and failures and sometimes I tried so hard to improve that I ended up completely exhausted and depressed. Attwood’s book helped me see the progress I made since I was a child (nowadays, most people I meet see me as “normal” and likeable) and I start to understand I don’t have to feel guilty and ashamed for who I am.

This process was also very good for my husband – although he is the only person in my life that loved me without constantly pressuring me to change – he sometimes accepted things just because they were important to me without really understanding my reasons (I suspect that knowing that I grew up with an abusive father was also a hint that he shouldn’t push me in any way ). He willingly accepted my little “quirks” anyway, but he feels so much better for understanding the mechanisms behind them. No to mention how happy he is to see me getting rid of my burden of guilt.

Browsing this forum I stumbled upon more familiar experiences and thoughts that I ever shared with the people I usually meet and I’m very happy and grateful for finding Wrong Planet.

* I apologize for my mistakes – English is not my first language and I tend to became slightly incoherent or pedantic when I’m excited *

Nice to meet you, Sallamandrina.

I would like to say hello like my fellow above-poster. Bonjour! xP I hope you enjoy the forum. I am a newbie also, so I guess we correlate in a way! (Hey! I've read Tony Attwood's book too!)

Welcome aboard Wrong Planet, new-citizen Sallamandrina.

Thank you - it's nice meeting you all

hey, thats not bad for it not being your first language. Glad you're feeling better and hope you enjoy your time here.

Thanks for your kind words

Hey, welcome to WrongPlanet, Sallamandrina, and also to you, TiureJabba!

Welcome to Wrongplanet, the right planet for people like us, in cyberspace.

(Yay, more europeans to the people. ^^)

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to WP. Your post mentions many things which are familar to me and echo my own experiences (though I am lucky not to have the familiy issues that you did). I am new here too, but it it is great here. It feels like I am amongst my own kind for the first time in my life!

To WrongPlanet!! !

Hi Sallamandrina - welcome to WP!

You write at least as well as most of the English speakers I know

By "Attwood's book," can I assume you mean "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome"? (I believe he has written others.) I found it to be a wonderful resource when I first started to explore the subject of AS (just a few months ago - although it seems much longer.)

I think you'll find many other people on this forum (myself included) who have had similar experiences to yours - especially growing up undiagnosed & having to discover how to get along in the world. Congratulations on having made it this far!

I hope to see much more from you in the time to come.

Thanks everybody, it's good to feel welcomed.

@AC132 Same here - it's a completely new experience to feel like I belong to a group. I sometimes relate to people in one respect or another, but I'm always aware and careful about what I say or shouldn't say even to my friends. But here I've read at least a hundred posts that could have been written by me and almost every thread describes something very familiar.

@zeichner It's very interesting for me to read this forum and compare experiences with people that were diagnosed as children. In my case, the learning process was always connected to negative experiences (rejection, not fitting in etc), but on the other hand, that made me learn my lessons rather fast and well. But the price is very high and you carry some scars all your life.

Hello and welcome.
I feel the same way. I am now focused on WP. I always thought I was the only one that has my "Quirks", nope there are thousands of others right here on WP.

neat surprise.