Hello and I have a question...

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Hi. I was formally diagnosed just this week. Suspected it for the past year or so. Male, late 30s, brother with severe autism, cousins with autism.

What puzzles me is that many posts here concern the frustration with making a social connection. So much of the conversations revolve around dating, relationships, etc. This relationship frustration has not been my experience at all. My interests are so powerful that its difficult to think of a good reason to care about relationships with other people. It seems easy to initiate a connection with other people but quite difficult to maintain that connection. My brother who is severely autistic is an extrovert as well but on his own terms and in his own space.

So my question to others here is why would you want to connect to the outside world? Surely your interests are enough for a lifetime of enjoyment. My doctor says the normal world does not work that way. That may be true for NTs. But I am confused as to why an autistic person would even care about making a connection with others? Whats the big deal?

Hi, welcome if I should say that as I've only been here a few days.

From my point of view:
Well, I am 15 and it is always at school where I try to make social connections. I would enjoy life on my own however at school it feels like I am forced to make social connections. There is no space at school for me to enjoy my special interests.

Hi, firstly welcome to WP.

You make a good point. From a personal point of you (I cannot speak for everyone) but I think the need for acceptance is probably why I pursued what at the time I saw as the 'right/usual' way of growing up socially. I think the fact that I stood out so much from my peers and the resultant negativity which followed convinced me that I should pursue a life which socially seemed more acceptable to the views of the mainstream. However of late since I've begun to understand myself, and others better I don't feel this way any more (well not as much).

I think your point holds wait, but cannot be absolute because as individuals we are all different and our environment places different types of expectations on each of us.

I hope you enjoy the site.

Welcome to Wrong Planet, fellow-traveler ArchVile.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Good question! I have enough interests to keep me solitarily occupied for sure forever. My main concern about interacting with others is work-related. I always, always knew something was 'up' with me but when I missed a promotion over a dozen years ago, being 'on the spectrum' hit me in the wallet hard, enough to make me ill. I can't remember how management put it exactly, but you didn't have to read between the lines too hard...

So from then on, I have been attempting to pass as NT with some success and more than a little spectacular failure, some of which would be funny if it wasn't me living it.

I'm a little embarrased to admit it here in writing, but for me it's mostly about money. There, I've said it... But being isolated socially can be inconvienent from a practical standpoint too.