new here and hate myself with a passion

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no job, don't even qualify for welfare and my life sucks like no other.

i used to pick trash for fun - it is amazing the stuff you can find. the bottles are five cents each. no big deal. i would say do not worry about it - do your best. get any work you can even if it is cleaning toilets in mcdonalds.

I'm really not sure what you want from us here.
Do you just want to b***h, or would you like people's advice in how to maybe make some changes?

Care to clarify?

At least you have the internet.

Welcome to WP.

Well, you didn't give a lot of details so I don't know what you expect anyone to say... but unless you are in desperate need of an income I would suggest doing some volunteer work. It's good for your self-esteem and it can be a good way to meet people for "networking" and friendships. I volunteer at an animal shelter myself, which I find rewarding.

As for hating yourself, well, I know what that's like. I also know that people who are really down on themselves generally don't deserve to feel that way.

Welcome to the Wrong Planet neighborhood, aspieguy101.

Yet you can somehow afford to access the Internet.

He stated in another thread he still lives with dad, in my opinion not a bad place to be.

it is easier to go up when you are down than to fall down when you're high.

Me too.

What is it that you want to be doing? Can you temp while looking for something else? Also agree with Pillbug about the volunteer work. It does help to get your mind off your problems temporarily, esp. if you're helping those who are worse off than you are. Also maybe look into interning somewhere you want to work.

Totally understand the self loathing, been there. I used to have horrible problems with depression when I was younger (been on antidepressants as well), it still bothers me a bit from time to time but not like it used to. What I realized eventually was that negative emotions tend to have their own weird but very real momentum, its like being caught in the undertow, and they can literally "pull you under". You have to break that momentum somehow, its kind of hard for me to put this into precise words. I don't want to come off as being all "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" or "just snap out of it", I hated it when anyone would tell me that, esp. relatives.

You know what does help though? Meditation, exercise, hell go for a long walk someplace you don't usually go. Its not a permanent cure or anything but it will help.

Eh I fell like that self loathing, Depression, ETC. it can last several days to a week eventually I get over it and move on till the next episode but I have a job so that gets me out of the house and since im heavily into anime im apart of an Anime club near me so thats atleast one step in the right direction socially.