pearls of wisdom.

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what was the most important lesson that you learnt about life (so far)?

i would say mine is when i understood and accepted that change is inevitable. when i was younger, i always imagined that i would eventually reach a point where my circumstances were as close to how i wanted them as they would get and then everything would remain the same for the rest of my life. but, when i was nineteen, someone picked-up on this belief and said to me "emma, you can't expect everything to remain static" and when i thought about what they said i realised that, not only was my vision unrealistic, it was completely impossible- i was fighting a losing battle against the laws of nature!

of course, at first, i hated this information that i had learned but i gradually began to accept the fact. now that i have gained this knowledge, i don't get so upset when familiar situations get replaced with new ones.

what are your pearls of wisdom?

I used to have a similar problem. For much of my teens, I wished that time would stand still.

I'm not sure what my pearls of wisdom are.

But I have learnt that conservatives are all mean spirited bastards.

Oh, and Hecate is sexy! !!

flattery will get you everywhere!

Its true though!! !

She's damn HOT!!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.....lets not rag on the conservatives just yet. I'm not a mean spirited bastard, I just know that it's unreasonable to think one can end poverty with hugs and kisses. Or even large cash donations.

That'd be my piece of advise; moderation. If your views have become too generalised or extreme, they're probably wrong. (E.g. Liberals aren't right, neither are conservatives.) You really have to understand both sides of the equation (or both arguments) in order to make meaningful decisions about your views. I'm not saying you have to compromise on every issue, but sometimes just seeing one side of the story isn't enough.

nothing ever gets any easier. it's hard to explain what I mean by that. but so often in life I've thought to myself, if just I put in a big effort into passing this exam / getting into a relationship / some other difficult task, then everything after that will be easy. it never was.

at school, when I did well in exams and tests, it was never 'well done! now have a nice well deserved break', all I ever got was even higher expectations put on me by the teachers, "why can't you do that all the time?", made to do even more, even harder work than everybody else, and when I couldn't do it, verbal abuse. it's only worth putting effort into something if you enjoy it. with relationships it's similar, the more effort you put in, the more gets expected of you - not the more you put in the more the other person puts in. or maybe I'm just cynical.

moral: never ever ever try hard at anything for someone else unless it's something you enjoy yourself.

In my opinion that is mean spirited. But then again, what I consider mean spirited might be "innovative business solutions" to conservatives.

I don't want to get into an arguement here, or it will drag the thread off-topic.

I've learned three things that I would count as pearls, because learning them was costly.

"All things are hard before they are easy". (Confusius)

"It's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't"

"The meaning of life is that it ends."
(not meant in a heavy way, just that it gives it value)

These help me keep going when I feel like lying down and giving up.
Obviously we need to crash sometimes when we're low, just remember to get up again.

Hope you like them, I may make all three my signature from now on.

that's one of the rules i try to live my life by too.

Is it better to regret having murdered someone than having not murdered someone? If you regret having not murdered someone, you might be dangerous, but if you regret having murdered someone, well, you've murdered someone!

I'm just amusing myself here...otherwise, not taken to its extremes, it sounds like it could be useful, in encouraging one to act a bit more IF that's what one needs. For me, action generally has to make some kind of sense before I'm inclined toward it...it need not be logical sense per se, and in fact it may be more important that it have some kind of emotional appeal, 'cause otherwise I'll be like, "where's the reward in that?" Logic helps, though, because something not making logical sense is one more excuse to block me from action.

a relative of mine (dead now) was involved in one of the many assassination attempts on hitler. he had the opportunity to shoot, but no getaway. so he didn't shoot. he couldn't talk about it for 50 years because it had to be kept secret. when he did talk about it, nobody believed him. he never talked about how he felt and how it affected him.

I wonder what regret he must have felt about not murdering someone?


related to this: people say it's better to learn from others mistakes than your own, but I found the opposite. it's essential to make mistakes so you can learn from them, and it's best to make as many mistakes as possible. if you do everything perfectly 100% of the time, you never ever learn anything. so it's best to be in a position where you can make lots of mistakes, but those mistakes don't have bad consequences.

this has led to some interesting discussions with my support worker on the topic of whether a support person should help someone break the law, if that's what they want to do. it's an interesting disability rights question in itself, after all normal people have the opportunity to break the law if they want, so why shouldn't the disabled be supported to have the same opportunity, and be allowed to make the same mistakes? (there's a lot more I wanted to write about that but I'm too tired, might carry on tomorrow)

I think it depends on what kinds of laws the disabled want to break. If they want to commit murder of a citizen who wouldn't be widely seen as deserving it (i.e., not the likes of Hitler, Cheney, or a serial killer who has been proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt), then I would say it's probably better not to enable it - it would be like hiding the gun of an angry spouse, which I think is fair enough as an act of defense. If it's jaywalking, go ahead. If it's stealing or being active in the Mafia...well, the aide better be willing to face the legal consequences, as the aide will be making a choice to be a partner in that crime.

the secret of life is...


"IT ENDS"

Are you familiar with the film "Sliding Doors"?

That every decision puts you on a completely different path/ alternative reality tunnel.

The most precious thing in my life is Reuben my seven year old son (when I work out how to I'll post a pic). Anyway up untill he was concieved my life was pretty messed up and during those years I did many stupid, bad, illegal or just plain thoughtless things that I later deeply regretted. But if I changed any one of those actions or decisions my son would not have been born. I would not trade in my beautiful son for any kind of alternative reality or clean concience. The thought of looking back when I'm old and childless and justifying my existence by saying "I was a good good man, I did many fine things" is pants compared with the memories I already share with Reuben, thanks to this boy I've turned my life around and discovered I'm AS.

To Hell with the concequences my son is alive and kicking. (quite often literally)

these are the 3 things i will tell whoever is on hand when and where i die -

1. Never let women near air conditioners. They turn them down.
2. Never buy wooden futons, they break in a month.
3. Always pick gross, the net is fantasy.

1. Never let men near the remote control. You'll never get it back.

2. You're darned if you do and darned if you don't so live your life to the fullest and never compromise your principles.

3. Sometimes, it's better to just "let go" because you can't control everything that happens to you.