I've made a few posts recently but I've not introduced myself. I'm Jonah, I'm 28 and I live in Chicago.
I have no official diagnosis. I haven't even discussed Asperger's with my therapist or girlfriend. All I know is that there's something neurologically different about me when compared with most of my peers. For a long time I've hand a "social anxiety" diagnosis which I have never felt quite fits the bill. I don't really like to talk to most people (unless they are weird like me) and prefer to keep to myself at school. I'm finishing up my 4th semester of my undergrad. A lot of the feelings I've been having have been exacerbated by returning to school. I've noticed my preference for isolation increasing as I feel stress from my daily routine. I also have noticed that, like in high school, I have difficulties with learning. I can learn things when I read them from a book or if I take notes in class and then make precise, step-by-step instructions as to how to preform a task. But that is time consuming and I can't always do that. I also have problems connecting two related areas of knowledge together or combining known information to solve a new situation. These learning difficulties are making Precalculus really hard. I am probably going to retake it as two separate classes (College Algebra and Trig) this summer because I'm getting a C right now.
I've been able to identify "what is wrong with me" by reading descriptions of Asperger's over the years. Ever since I was a kid I knew something was off...and so did the other kids. It's always been hard for me to make friends. I moved quite a bit as a kid and that didn't really help either--always being the new kid, and an awkward and gender-variant kid at that--none of that really helped me to fit in.
I am also a transsexual. I was born female and that never felt right either. I transitioned at the age of 22. The majority of my adult life has been spent as male, and while I'll never feel right socially, I think I've socially transitioned well.
At this point, I believe I have Asperger's which would explain A LOT about me, or I am just an awkward, socially anxious, ADD-stricken adult with problems coping with change and who is easily exhausted by a daily routine that other people have no issue with. The vote is still out, but I'm leaning towards being an Aspie vehemently.
17 Apr 2009, 10:41 am
