Sense of Belonging?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm not diagnosed, though, I'm trying to find a psychologist, or someone, to get a diagnosis from, as I'd like to have an answer after all these years...

Well, I actually found this place through wikipedia...which I LOVE reading through, browsing through
And I heard about Asperger's through America's Next Top Model
I've always been incredibly interested in psychology, so I checked it out online.
And then *ding*, something that explains my obsessiveness, my communication barriers, and a bunch of other odd behaviours. I thought I had OCD at first, as I have a schedule, a strict routine, and I eat the same things everyday, if anything is changed, I freak out. I've actually spoken to a lot of school counselours about these behaviours and habits, and I'm really surprised none of them have suggested Asperger's?
I have hard time making eye contact with anyone.

I have to walk my dogs at a certain time, feed my dogs at a certain time..I feed them, raise them, in very specific ways, and I hate it when other people mess with my dogs. I also do conformation showing of dogs. I have 3 geckos, and now I'm really into breeding leopard geckos...there's so much on genetics to learn about, it's heaven that I can occupy myself for hours just reading about these kind of things.
Life without routines, a certain schedule, makes me uncomfortable, but I can deal with it, although, if a routine is made and set, then I HAVE to follow it, or it drives me insane.

I know I used to be a really outgoing kid, but I was also a bit 'odd', nobody liked to play with me, and I had a bunch of imaginary friends. As I got a bit older, sometimes I'd get along just fine, other times when I've had enough, I'd isolate myself and break down emotionally.

There was a time, a few years ago, when I had a few very very close friends, even then, I don't think I was really great at making friends, but they were really outgoing and tolerant of me, and I am painfully loyal if you win my trust. All that went to hell when I had to move to a new country, and I've not found any friends in school since then.

I am at the moment 16, and I feel comfortable only with people/friends/acquaintances older than me. Even with the people I feel comfortable around, sometimes communication barriers still exist, and if I hesitate for too long to answer, I find myself panicking a little bit and not knowing how to respond.
I never go to school dances, never participate in any group activities that I don't have to.

The worst case I've run into so far would probably be last weekend, I thought I would 'attempt' to socialise with people. I went out with family over to their friends place...in hindsight, it was probably a horrible idea, as it wasn't 2 or 3 people, it was a whole bunch of families gathering for brunch and etc. I'd never gone to these, ever, and quite a few people approached me to say hello and ask me questions...I could barely look at them, and I felt so self-conscious, knowing I probably looked like a mumbling idiot...
I ran out and sat in the car for the remainder of the time, using a headache as an excuse...
I was so overwhelmed..can't exactly describe how I felt, but I was crying, and just a mess in general...

So, anyway, that's my story and my relations (or lackthereof) with AS.
Either way, I am so glad to know there are like minded people out there, and I'm not alone

Welcome aboard the Wrong Planet, new-citizen arcticmelody.

Hey, you sound like one of us ... welcome aboard.

While a clinical diagnosis might be useful, it will mostly be as a starting point. You will probably find your own research much more beneficial.

Hi arcticmelody - welcome to WP! You are most definitely not alone.

You don't mention in which part of the world you are currently living - but an official diagnosis might be helpful to you, educationally (various accommodations during tests, etc.) Otherwise, I agree with Shadow50 - your personal research will probably be the most helpful to you. The Books section of this website is an excellent place to start.

Best of luck in your quest for self-knowledge!

Welcome.

Thank you everyone for the kind words and warm welcome

I'm currently reading The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood, right now, and every few lines I would be like "hey, that's totally me!".

I've felt so alone all these past years, and now I finally feel like there are people out there who knows how I feel

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome to WP Arctic melody.

I can identify with what you wrote about your dogs- I don't trust many people to care for them the way I do (I susbjected a potential pet sitter to an interivew where I asked 2 pages worth of questions). For most of my adolescenc dogs were my primary 'special interest'. What breed(s) of dog do you show?

I'm in the same boat as you right now- found out about AS through an interest in psychology and subsequent reading set off a multitude of light bulbs. My doctor recently referred me for a disgnosis this week. Best of luck to you

again, thank you everyone for the warm welcomes

Welcome to WP Arctic melody.

I can identify with what you wrote about your dogs- I don't trust many people to care for them the way I do (I susbjected a potential pet sitter to an interivew where I asked 2 pages worth of questions). For most of my adolescenc dogs were my primary 'special interest'. What breed(s) of dog do you show?

I'm in the same boat as you right now- found out about AS through an interest in psychology and subsequent reading set off a multitude of light bulbs. My doctor recently referred me for a disgnosis this week. Best of luck to you

Welcome, ArcticMelody - as a musician from Alaska, I thoroughly applaud your choice of handle. You show remarkable self-awareness and articulation; I look forward to hearing more from you here in the future.


M.

I'd like to find more out about how you heard about Asperger's through Americas Next Top Model?
Also, Huskies are lovely dogs. I have a Jack Russell and she is my world. I owned my first dog when I was 9 and he was my best friend growing up.

Welcome to WP!