I'm not one for introductions, but here goes: I'm 27, from Arizona. I have undiagnosed Aspergers. I've suspected I had it for a while, as did my parents, but after talking with some people who had it on another forum, and reading a bit here, I know beyond any doubt. I guess there's been all sorts of clues my whole life. When I was very young, I was tactile defensive (didn't like being touched), slightly clumsy, a speech problem that persists to this day, and had major aversions to certain smells, tastes, and other things. I tended to get obsessed with certain things and learn about them in extreme detail. My handwriting speed was also very slow, and writing for any length of time is actually physically painful. I never used cursive except when I had to, and it was still slow and painful. And of course the social problems, which remain my biggest issue. A doctor who did some tests also commented that I was "wired differently", but that was as much as they knew back then.
So yeah. When it all boils down to it, I have it. No question. I have, or have had pretty much all the various symptoms at one stage of my life. I've successfully graduated college, though, and so far have done okay at work, so I see no reason to seek official diagnosis. Giving myself a label isn't likely to help me much at this point, and the last thing I need is additional stigma; I get that enough from my speech problem and poor social skills. I do display some additional odd autistic-like mental tendencies, like the ability copy or imitate certain things, or a strange affinity for mechanical and technical things. It's like I can picture or predict how something has to work, even without ever taking it apart.
Other than that, I'm a part-time network administrator. I'm looking to get a better job, although I seem to have gotten into this field right as it got flooded, and everyone wants at least 2 years of experience. I now have it, but obviously the economy's in the tank. So I'm just chilling. I have a few close friends. I make strong connections with certain people, even over the Internet. It's like I can somehow make a connection on some deep level. It's worth nothing, though, that none of those people are what you'd call NTs. There's always something that marks them as a bit different, and I have no "normal" friends. Being older and a bit better adapted than most, I'm something of a mentor type. What can I say? I've seen a lot, including a lot of things I'd rather not remember. But remember I do, and it's a price I'll pay gladly if it helps even one person.
03 May 2009, 4:41 am
