Calling MidlifeAspie out as a bully ...

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leejosepho
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03 Mar 2011, 6:49 pm

Volodja wrote:
I think midlifeaspie is doing a very good job as mod so far ...

... and I am not saying he is not.


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leejosepho
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03 Mar 2011, 6:50 pm

iamnotaparakeet wrote:
No flame wars allowed.

Are you posting that to me or to the one making all the false accusations?


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Khan
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03 Mar 2011, 6:50 pm

leejosepho wrote:
Volodja wrote:
I think midlifeaspie is doing a very good job as mod so far ...

... and I am not saying he is not.


If MidlifeAspie is making false accusations against ( I have no evidence one way or another) than you must get Alex involved and have him settle the issue.



leejosepho
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03 Mar 2011, 6:52 pm

Volodja wrote:
btw I think calling him a bully is just as bad, if not worse, than anything he must have said to you

My allegation has substance -- his false accusations have none.

Khan wrote:
Especially on a site full of aspies, many of whom have been bullied themselves

Shall we Aspies now all stand and tell one of our fellows he cannot bully me just because he happens to have some mod buttons?


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leejosepho
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03 Mar 2011, 6:55 pm

Khan wrote:
If MidlifeAspie is making false accusations against ( I have no evidence one way or another) than you must get Alex involved and have him settle the issue.

His accusations are posted right out here on the boards, and I am not going to go whining to Alex. Rather, I am calling the bully out right here in front of God and everyone ... and we will/might all soon see how Alex might deal with this.


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Last edited by leejosepho on 03 Mar 2011, 7:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

DW_a_mom
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03 Mar 2011, 6:56 pm

Lee, I would have thought that from your brief experience you would have figured out how difficult it is to find the right balance with all the members all the time. And, also, how many demands are coming at a mod at any given time, and how utterly impossible it can be to handle each and every one to the satisfaction of all. So, knowing all that, I find it surprising that you can't give the guy a little space to adjust to the job and figure out how to deal peacefully with you. From what I can see your pressure on him has been almost constant; WHY? Is that really how you want him to ease into the job, by spending 80% of his time answering your specific questions, instead of getting a better lay of the land? Just think about it; it's almost like you don't want him to be able to do a decent job.

No one walks into the job and handles everything and everyone perfectly. No one holds the job and handles everything and everyone perfectly. In my opinion, and I realize my opinion is colored by my experience as a former mod, the best way to react as a member is make a solid case ONCE, maybe a single appeal after, and then deal with whatever answer you get, like it or not. Pursuing the issue keeps the mods overly focused on one member, to the detriment of the rest of the site, and the mod is likely to instinctively resent it and want to rebel against it; they volunteer their time, after all, with the hopes of accomplishing something POSITIVE.

Lee, if you weren't thought of highly on this site you would never have been given the opportunity you were given, even if it turned out that it didn't work out. Can you let go and return to being that guy, the one we all found even and thoughtful?


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DW_a_mom
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03 Mar 2011, 6:58 pm

...

missread what I responded to


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Khan
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03 Mar 2011, 7:00 pm

leejosepho wrote:
Volodja wrote:
btw I think calling him a bully is just as bad, if not worse, than anything he must have said to you

My allegation has substance -- his false accusations have none.

Khan wrote:
Especially on a site full of aspies, many of whom have been bullied themselves

Shall we Aspies now all stand and tell one of our fellows he cannot bully me just because he happens to have some mod buttons?


Again false accusations do not equal bullying.

Also your attributing a statement to me I never made :S



alex
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03 Mar 2011, 7:07 pm

I think it would be more appropriate to discuss this privately. . .


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CockneyRebel
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03 Mar 2011, 7:14 pm

I think that MLA is doing a jolly good job as a moderator. :)


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leejosepho
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03 Mar 2011, 7:14 pm

Khan wrote:
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... it would be wrong of either MidlifeAspie or myself to publicly post anything more about that.

You mods do this, always saying you are not at the liberty to discuss things but whine anyways. Either tell us the whole story or don't say anything at all.

I seriously doubt you really believe all mods whine, but then neither did you likely mean what could be heard there ...

... and there are actually two separate issues there:

1) Mods are told to not come out here and get into debates about WP rules and mod actions taken;

2) What good would "telling my side of the story" do here where the membership is not the jury anyway?

But beyond either of those two things and apart from my having suspected trouble from the very beginning, all the things I am "whining" about now are already right out here on the boards.


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CockneyRebel
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03 Mar 2011, 7:17 pm

Great. We're going to lose another mod. :x


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iamnotaparakeet
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03 Mar 2011, 7:30 pm

leejosepho wrote:
iamnotaparakeet wrote:
No flame wars allowed.

Are you posting that to me or to the one making all the false accusations?


Generally I suppose, neither to you nor anyone. I was trying to be funny actually at the time, but looking back I suppose there would be no indication of that.



leejosepho
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03 Mar 2011, 7:30 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
... I find it surprising that you can't give the guy a little space to adjust to the job and figure out how to deal peacefully with you.

Whew. I am only asking that his false accusations against me cease and that he clean them up!

DW_a_mom wrote:
From what I can see your pressure on him has been almost constant ...

No such thing is going on.

DW_a_mom wrote:
Is that really how you want him to ease into the job, by spending 80% of his time answering your specific questions ...

Whoa! I have never bugged him with questions. Rather, he simply seems to be bothered by his own inability to answer questions even after agreeing to engage in a hypothetical at a time when I was trying to be sure everyone here understood "Guilty as perceived" is now how things are on his watch ... and he then even turned that one around and left the impression I had been wanting to argue! His ridiculous spin might not be consciously intentional, but it still happens ... and now just watch what will happen here: I will likely be banned as a troublemaker after simply being a membership advocate!

DW_a_mom wrote:
... it's almost like you don't want him to be able to do a decent job.

Mis-perception noted.

DW_a_mom wrote:
In my opinion ... the best way to react as a member is make a solid case ONCE ...

You bet, and here it is.

DW_a_mom wrote:
Lee, if you weren't thought of highly on this site you would never have been given the opportunity you were given ...

... and neither would I still be able to post at this very moment ... and I now risk all of that for the sake of calling out a bully moderator.

DW_a_mom wrote:
Can you ... return to being that guy ...

Other than having since gained tremendously from being here among our fellows, I am still the same "lovable guy" or whatever I was when I first got here ... but now a pariah because I will not give in to being bullied.


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League_Girl
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03 Mar 2011, 7:36 pm

leejosepho wrote:
MidlifeAspie has now repeatedly posted false accusations against me, and I say he is a pompous ass who thinks his mod buttons make him some kind of "god" who can get away what that!

I might get banned for saying so, but MidlifeAspie is either a snake or completely delusional.


Banned? Yeah it is against the rules calling out other members. Do it over at I2 where it's allowed.



leejosepho
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03 Mar 2011, 7:46 pm

Quatermass wrote:
Listen up, leejosepho. ... it may take time for MidLifeAspie to adjust to the power of being a moderator. It took me a little time to finally settle into the role and become anywhere near as objective as I needed to be for it.

Maybe you can go coach him a bit. I say he is in desperate need of some coaching.


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My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================