HUGE DOUBLE STANDARD ON WP

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Misunderstandings happen. It's good to talk about it. That is the only way we'll all learn.

Me saying someone is attacking me, or that I feel attacked, should not be the only criteria a moderator uses to decide he should do something with the other person. I may be lying. I may be overreacting. I may be seeing something that's not there. I may be misunderstanding what was said.

(I'm simply using myself as an example for ease of wording. It goes for anyone.)

Yeah, it's subjective, but moderators do need to exercise some judgement, with regards to if they should do something, and if so, what.

Now, I'm not familiar with the particular situation, so I don't know if I'd feel that the moderators should have done more or not, in that particular situation. This post is about some of the ideas presented in this thread, not about the specific individual situation that inspired it.

And it's not realistic on a forum with as many active users as this one has to expect that everyone should always feel safe, and that moderators should enforce that. It's just not possible. And we are each responsible for our own safety. If someone's being inappropriate, yes, point it out to the moderators. But they aren't responsible for you; they aren't responsible for your safety. Be responsible for yourself. Take care of your own emotional needs. Learn how, if you need to. Yes, it can be done.

Ken's major problem in this situation is that he has been told before that his posts are inapropriate because other members feel attacked by them, whether or not it was his intent. And now he is being told it doesn't matter that *he* feels attacked. That translates to: Other members' feelings matter but his do not.

I can see why he is upset.

I don't post in these types of threads unless I have a strong opinion. And I've got to say, unless something was said in that thread that I missed, I'm pretty solidly on Ken's side on this one.

I agree. If one person's "feelings" are considered enough to criticise someone whereas another person's "feelings" are not, Ken's complaint about a double standard is justified.

Mitharatowen, Salonfilosoof, thank you very much for that. It means alot and you expressed it better then I could.

I understand your frustrations ken as I soon will be back to staying away from wp. Accountability is thrown out the window for what the moderators think is ok. I'm kind of confused by the doubletalk and such you get from moderators and all I got are snide remarks back. I believe the whole community management teamshould be overhauled in hopes of a better community management team.


PS: I also feel that there should be rules guidelined in one post with clear ramifactions so users can know what they can do and not with clear understanding. Right now the rules seem to be whatever the particular mod feels at the time.

My 2 cents as part of the mod team (even though I've forgone having a banner) ...

We try to be consistent but, face it, each mod has their own personality and perspective. We don't all read all the posts. It isn't possible. So it gets left to the judgment of the person reading.

We also try to be mindful of the fact that our members have AS and not all will have learned to post appropriately before coming here. If it seems like a member is willing to learn, they'll be given a shot. If they don't seem willing or able, then they might not be.

It is impossible to take all that into account and still have perfect consistency and black/white rules.

And, true, if someone has a history of posting poorly they may get less rope for a single error than someone who doesn't have that history.

I honestly belief that anyone who makes it clear they are doing their best and who tries to work with the moderators instead of against them will be fine.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 28 Jan 2010, 6:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sorry I originally put you as an exception but not quite on the assertion of fairness. I got threatened to be banned two times on this site and I am a former forum/chat moderator. That is not saying I am incapable of making mistakes but from day 1 I exercised my view of people being accountable for their own actions. When I was presented with a person of dissenting opinion who said a lot of rather nasty things about me comparing me to a rapist not the least of the worries I got no response. That is fine mods are busy but then when I said something in light of the fact that I wouldn't tolerate a member being disrespected after that same member was called a slut from my antagonist I was told that I was out of line.

Today a poster asked about the quotes in an YouTube video which depicted some rather disgusting comments. I posted them and was told that I was trying to get banned because I would like a delete account button and that I "provoked" members and used excessive profanity (the only profanity was in the posts I quoted). So there is no real keeping up with him no formal system for him to say hey look at guideline #21 in the rules you are breaking that rule so that is why I removed the post. meanwhile the opinions they agree with can be provoking and can use excessive profanity. There needs to be some standard.

We have a standard and I admit it can be vague (the TOS) and how they are assumed to apply can vary, but if we make it any more black and white I would think quite a few members would learn to play the precision game (as my AS son does) and successfully claim they didn't violate the letter of the law while they clearly violated the heart of it.

In the end, everyone is asked to be respectful, not make broad generalizations about any population, hold back on the bad language, and post in a manner that furthers - rather than harms - the goals of this forum.

I, personally, think the discussion of it all is good. I take into account what various members say and how they feel, and give it serious consideration when I'm making moderation decisions, given that I feel my job is to help make as many people comfortable here as possible.

Yeah, I can see that. Though miscommunication is another possibility.

I suggest you next time to include quotes specifying the alleged attack and the post you made that was characterized as an attack. E

standards are usually not vague for instance in the chats/forums I moderated these were pretty much staple rules that needed no more clarification. Currently your rules are tailored to the situation by using vague rules then tailoring them for the incident. I am saying you need a clearly defined standard of behavior and then it must be followed to the letter. As an example:

1. No foul language

2. No conversation either detailing or suggesting a desire to comit a crime (ie: rape, stealing, assault, etc) hence if we used the rule listed here the posts that were quoted in the video would never had been seen because they would have been deleted for moderation purposes.

3. No ill advised sexual topics either detailing sexual experiences, desired sexual experiences, or fictional sexual topics.

then it wouldn't be a question of if something is an infraction.

I did not save the post I made and it can be found in my history somewhere. I'm saying as in general this site has not displayed a fair and balanced view of all people who use the site. Either way even if I produced the posts or whatever you would defend it which is fine all I'm saying is the problems that started this thread need to be addressed with a clear standard of behavior. As far as I go I just wanted to see if there was a delete account button as I no longer want to be associated with this site. In either case considering how the mods constantly delete posts it's reasonable to assume that those posts are most likely gone.

When I did meet with other aspies in this area this site has kind of become a black sheep of sorts. Most people know about the unjustified moderation and people do not feel open to express their feelings which I assumed was the whole meaning for this forum. In the first case I referenced me and that mod know the story just like with the 2nd reference. I'm giving an opportunity for wrong planet to see their flaws and act upon them whether they do or not is their decision as a whole.

ps: edited for clarity because of spelling mistakes.

Then paraphrase it or something cause I am just unable to understand the whole situation.

basically I got another member mad at me she responded while we were discussing a topic that I was in the same league with womenhaters and rapists. Which as I'm very much pro-women in every aspect I found disssagreeable. There was another thread in which I posted a picture of myself and a female member commented favorably on it. The female poster was called a slut basically and from then on the member who was annoyed at me was stalking her and pretty much harrassing her. She in one thread said that she would go after her for being nice to me after which I responded with if you chose that course of action I will become involved. I was then told by a moderator that I was giving the illusion that I had moderation abilities within the forum when I simply stated that I would be involved.

There was a thread opened specifically about not liknig the individual I had problems with. Where I stated though I have a problem with her I do not agree with making threads about it. In the end me and that member got into it again in which a mod responded in thread I asked her to take it to pm and she refused. I was threatened with being banned after that for attacking the other member while she was still comparing me to rapists and saying that I was discriminatory towards women. I said no I will leave voluntarily then expressed my opinion that there should be a delete account button as I no longer wanted any association with the site. I was told that basically alex's company owns my identity on here and all posts and that was legitmate reason as to why I couldn't as an individual delete my account.

I'm not in charge of writing the rules and actually have no say in it but I can think of one instance where such a rule would have made my life easier.