Reasons Aspies don't join/leave WP?

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Are you aware of individuals on the spectrum that have a) decided not to join WP, or b) left WP?
Poll ended at 24 Jun 2013, 2:11 pm
Yes, but I don't know why individuals left/didn’t join 15%  15%  [ 13 ]
I don't know anyone else who left/didn’t join 28%  28%  [ 24 ]
No, everyone I know who joined WP stayed 3%  3%  [ 3 ]
Yes, they indicated they didn’t like "negativity" 13%  13%  [ 11 ]
Yes, they thought this site was too positive towards ASDs 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Yes, they thought the site is too pro-cure 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Yes, they thought the site didn’t represent them 7%  7%  [ 6 ]
Yes, they felt their views were ignored 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
Yes, they thought the site was too depressing 11%  11%  [ 10 ]
Yes, they felt awkward posting positive life experiences 2%  2%  [ 2 ]
Other/Please explain 18%  18%  [ 16 ]
Total votes : 87

Kjas
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29 May 2013, 7:42 pm

AgentPalpatine wrote:
I'm curious, as of this moment, there are five votes for "did'nt represent them", is it possible for someone to post (or PM) any additional information they might feel comfortable sharing?


I know quite a few awesome members who have left. Most of them have left due to the negativity, and others because of the outright bullying.
There has been more than one member who was bullied by one person, or by one group of people, so they decided to leave rather than put up with it.
Quite a few of them mentioned how difficult it was to have an open and honest discussion without people overreacting, taking things personally, and having defensive ego reactions - when I read the threads they were referring to, I could see exactly what they meant, and they were spot on. Those threads never needed to turn out like that - people turned them into it, and the personal insults, bullying, and mod intervention was usually not far after.

Shatbat wrote:
Dox47 wrote:
I remember when that started to happen; when I first started here, it was PPR that was hated by the mods and feared by the more timid members, but L&D has gradually come to replace it in that role. It's definitely more nasty in there than it was a few years ago, I have a few theories as to why that is so.


Care to share some of them? When I arrived it already had a bad reputation, I wonder how it was before.


I'd be interested in those reasons too, as I arrived to late to know what it was like before.


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naturalplastic
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29 May 2013, 9:47 pm

League_Girl wrote:
AgentPalpatine wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
One young lady whom I thought was a good contributer got feed up and announced that she was leaving and indeed never came back because of "the kind of people [we aspies] are"- namely bigoted archie bunker types, and axe grinders, and bullies.

It was a memorable post from years ago.

Her sentiment is understandable There certainly is no shortage of that here.

There are honest mopers who gripe about how miserable, then there are the bogus ones who prefer to export their misery by beating up others. The later are even worse than the former.

But there isnt much anyone can do about it.


Is there any chance you could PM that memorable post? If it's the one I think it is, I read it once but now I can't find it.




I'm curious too who it was.


Her name was "Friskeygirl".

You could still probably find her profile, and thus the list of her posts.



nessa238
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29 May 2013, 9:54 pm

[link redacted]

Very interesting

Can't say I've had many happy experiences in PPR myself either :roll:

[Mod. note: please remember that discussion of locked topics is prohibited, so the link to it has been redacted. There are enough clues here for those who want to go looking but please don't discuss in public what you find]


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Kjas
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29 May 2013, 9:59 pm

nessa238 wrote:
[link redacted]

Very interesting

Can't say I've had many happy experiences in PPR myself either :roll:


Holy hell and a half.

Well I certainly won't be mentioning which status group I belong to specifically. Lesson learned. 8O


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Last edited by Kjas on 29 May 2013, 10:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

glider18
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29 May 2013, 10:16 pm

There have been some members leave because they felt their views/opinions, etc. were ignored or not represented.


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29 May 2013, 10:32 pm

Wow, MXH really IS old :lol:. One day I should pick his brains on WP history

Also, I don't think our very own L&D is as bad as THAT (although I seem to miss a fair amount of the worse ones)


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29 May 2013, 11:23 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
AgentPalpatine wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
One young lady whom I thought was a good contributer got feed up and announced that she was leaving and indeed never came back because of "the kind of people [we aspies] are"- namely bigoted archie bunker types, and axe grinders, and bullies.

It was a memorable post from years ago.

Her sentiment is understandable There certainly is no shortage of that here.

There are honest mopers who gripe about how miserable, then there are the bogus ones who prefer to export their misery by beating up others. The later are even worse than the former.

But there isnt much anyone can do about it.


Is there any chance you could PM that memorable post? If it's the one I think it is, I read it once but now I can't find it.




I'm curious too who it was.


Her name was "Friskeygirl".

You could still probably find her profile, and thus the list of her posts.



She was one of my favorite members. But I thought she left because she was being harassed by a member here who had a grudge against her due to on of her insensitive posts she made about his suicide thinking.


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30 May 2013, 2:50 am

This place isn't for everyone. I have a feeling I'm a bit of an outsider myself here because the general attitude here is "you're different, deal with it" but I want to learn to work around my differences. Not everyone with AS feels like they're one of the community. In fact, I barely feel that way myself, but I'm here just because it's reassuring to know I'm not alone.


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30 May 2013, 12:00 pm

Yayoi wrote:
This place isn't for everyone. I have a feeling I'm a bit of an outsider myself here because the general attitude here is "you're different, deal with it" but I want to learn to work around my differences. Not everyone with AS feels like they're one of the community. In fact, I barely feel that way myself, but I'm here just because it's reassuring to know I'm not alone.


I have to agree on that. Once I created a thread about how Aspies can live normal lives, can fit into society, and can practically do anything the average person can do in a lifetime. I didn't mean all Aspies can, I just meant some that are high-functioning, with mild social awkwardness, but gained normal development otherwise in most areas, have more possibility of living a normal life like the average NT (move out, get married, have kids, go to work, drive a car, etc).

But a lot disagreed on that and just gave me the ''no Aspie is normal, so can't live a normal life. Deal with it.''


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30 May 2013, 1:02 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Yayoi wrote:
This place isn't for everyone. I have a feeling I'm a bit of an outsider myself here because the general attitude here is "you're different, deal with it" but I want to learn to work around my differences. Not everyone with AS feels like they're one of the community. In fact, I barely feel that way myself, but I'm here just because it's reassuring to know I'm not alone.


I have to agree on that. Once I created a thread about how Aspies can live normal lives, can fit into society, and can practically do anything the average person can do in a lifetime. I didn't mean all Aspies can, I just meant some that are high-functioning, with mild social awkwardness, but gained normal development otherwise in most areas, have more possibility of living a normal life like the average NT (move out, get married, have kids, go to work, drive a car, etc).

But a lot disagreed on that and just gave me the ''no Aspie is normal, so can't live a normal life. Deal with it.''




I guess they forgot about Temple Grandin, Llane Holliday Willey, John Robison, Bill Gates, Steven Spielberg.


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Morgana
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30 May 2013, 2:31 pm

Yayoi wrote:
This place isn't for everyone. I have a feeling I'm a bit of an outsider myself here because the general attitude here is "you're different, deal with it" but I want to learn to work around my differences. Not everyone with AS feels like they're one of the community. In fact, I barely feel that way myself, but I'm here just because it's reassuring to know I'm not alone.


I'm with you- (and the people who answered your post). So don't worry, you're not alone.


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30 May 2013, 3:04 pm

True, this place isn't for everyone. What is said above is so true about wanting to work around differences. There is support to be offered here, but there is also a lot of non support. I feel I have been somewhat guilty early on in trying to promote the positives and not understanding others' negative feelings in regard to having autism. But I have made a genuine effort to try and state that these things are my opinion and that I respect other people's opinions. I have had my share of challenges when I joined the WP in 2008, and I was fortunate to find support.

But a problem I have seen arise (or perhaps I more aware of it now) is a sort of arrogance within certain members in that they will not accept the beliefs of others because it doesn't meet their criteria---so therefore they are wrong. And no matter what the members say, these other members shoot down anything they say because it is flawed (according to their rules). This has caused many members to leave the WP. We have taken enough abuse in the outside world---and we sure don't need to take it here where we have come for support. There were a couple members in the past that began bullying me to no end---and fortunately, thanks to the moderators here, they were banned. But those were clear cut cases of abuse of the rules. But even when rules are followed here, members can still be somewhat bullied and made to feel inferior and feel very non-supported.

Although I felt more like an insider here back in 2008-2009 or so, I now feel more like an outsider---a lot to do with the fact that I have lost interest in the WP as compared to when I joined here. So I don't post as much on the "hot" topics.


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30 May 2013, 3:22 pm

Yayoi wrote:
This place isn't for everyone. I have a feeling I'm a bit of an outsider myself here because the general attitude here is "you're different, deal with it" but I want to learn to work around my differences. Not everyone with AS feels like they're one of the community. In fact, I barely feel that way myself, but I'm here just because it's reassuring to know I'm not alone.


Is there any possibility you could give an example of the above? There's two ways I can read your post, and I want to make sure I'm following your intent.


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30 May 2013, 4:38 pm

nessa238 wrote:
[link redacted]

Very interesting

Can't say I've had many happy experiences in PPR myself either :roll:


Actually the post I had in mind was probably this one: #3179200.
which happen to have been her last post- and she says "im gone for good" because of the "kind of people we are"( ie aspies).

In the one you cited I have to admit that she kinda took leave of moderation herself a couple posts above in bashing conservatives. But that doesnt justifies someone throwing a racial epithet at her, and calling her a 'tard'. But the point is made with either quote. She was a sensitive soul who shouldnt have wandered into the PPR Forum.

Glad to hear that atleast one person besides me remember her.



nessa238
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30 May 2013, 6:07 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
[link redacted]

Very interesting

Can't say I've had many happy experiences in PPR myself either :roll:


Actually the post I had in mind was probably this one: #3179200.
which happen to have been her last post- and she says "im gone for good" because of the "kind of people we are"( ie aspies).

In the one you cited I have to admit that she kinda took leave of moderation herself a couple posts above in bashing conservatives. But that doesnt justifies someone throwing a racial epithet at her, and calling her a 'tard'. But the point is made with either quote. She was a sensitive soul who shouldnt have wandered into the PPR Forum.

Glad to hear that atleast one person besides me remember her.


It seems to me that PPR is seen as some kind of hardcore forum where only a certain type of poster predominates - I don't think this should be allowed to happen

Calling someone on an Autism support board "a sensitive soul", as if it's some kind of unusual failing is rather ironic in my opinion

It's like some kind of boast that sensitive types will be chewed up and spat out - which is in fact the truth currently; in fact anyone with an opinion that doesn't toe the party line in there tends to get chewed up and spat out and I wouldn't be boasting about that actually; I'd be rather embarrassed and keen to make all forums more inclusive for everyone on WP


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30 May 2013, 6:34 pm

nessa238 wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
[link redacted]

Very interesting

Can't say I've had many happy experiences in PPR myself either :roll:


Actually the post I had in mind was probably this one: #3179200.
which happen to have been her last post- and she says "im gone for good" because of the "kind of people we are"( ie aspies).

In the one you cited I have to admit that she kinda took leave of moderation herself a couple posts above in bashing conservatives. But that doesnt justifies someone throwing a racial epithet at her, and calling her a 'tard'. But the point is made with either quote. She was a sensitive soul who shouldnt have wandered into the PPR Forum.

Glad to hear that atleast one person besides me remember her.


It seems to me that PPR is seen as some kind of hardcore forum where only a certain type of poster predominates - I don't think this should be allowed to happen

Calling someone on an Autism support board "a sensitive soul", as if it's some kind of unusual failing is rather ironic in my opinion

It's like some kind of boast that sensitive types will be chewed up and spat out - which is in fact the truth currently; in fact anyone with an opinion that doesn't toe the party line in there tends to get chewed up and spat out and I wouldn't be boasting about that actually; I'd be rather embarrassed and keen to make all forums more inclusive for everyone on WP


I meant it as a compliment. I certainly wasnt 'boasting' about the PPR Forum.

Would like to see her back, and see more people like her here.

The PPR does tend to be dominated by angry individuals of the male persuasion who have axes to grind, and who spend alot of time rehearsing how to grind their axes. No doubt about that!

Another aspie site I used to go to (that was like a tiny village compared to WP) was also dominated by two angry white males, and one female who was given to some really 'imaginative" conspiracy theories. The three sorta formed a hard core of vitriol combined with whackyness that kind of set the tone for the whole site after a while.