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greenblue
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14 Dec 2007, 3:40 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
Discriminated? I think it's more likely the fact that the site goes through times of different approaches to moderation.

Yeah, that's true,
but also may have to do with what is considered taboo, and it also depends on how one person says things, as sadly the less skilled you are on how to say things appropriately, the less likely you will be heard and a possibly target for being judge, that is a common thing that happens to aspies in the real world, and sadly it happens here as well, as you can see that the more outgoing people are, which are better with wording and how to approach things are the ones who are heard more.


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14 Dec 2007, 3:53 pm

And this is supposed to be a safe place to talk about things and not worry about being shot down and be treated equally but sadly I get the same crap on here I have gotten from NTs and it's sickening to see aspies do it too.



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14 Dec 2007, 4:21 pm

yep...
no group is better then another
they're all sick :roll:



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14 Dec 2007, 4:28 pm

Just want to make it clear that I'm not blaming anyone, the site or any site here, just that this happens everywhere. I know WP is trying to make it a safe place for everyone, even though things seem to work perfectly to most, it is not 100% just.

I know I am not providing any idea to to make this work, a possible solution, but at least I am stating an opinion on how things most likely are, in which I hope it could be helpful in a way, or maybe and most likely that it won't.


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Belfast
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14 Dec 2007, 4:45 pm

Am not siding 'with' or 'against' any of the points made so far in this multifaceted debate (co-occurring in several threads) by my comment. Growth in number as well as turnover in active members has consequences, both positive & negative changes (which falls into which category will differ according to each individual). Don't want to have to choose between the struggling polarities of absolutes: Either indulgence in free expression, encouraging diversity and valuing each person's uniqueness-or-enforcing standards, respecting boundaries, and valuing the large-scale group above any single person's rights.

It's difficult yet worth the effort, to take middle/moderate position/approach in deciding which is higher priority on case-by-case basis, to extent possible. Sometimes the majority should prevail & sometimes the minority should prevail. Negotiating consensus (finding & agreeing on "where to draw the line") is messy, imperfect-and on some issues more than others, significantly more challenging.

There are things I'll discuss online, but that I won't post here-meaning it feels less emotionally safe (for me) to speak up/out on WP than at some other sites. Concerned, already, that this comment I'm writing will be interpreted as saying something other than what I mean-partly because of my odd personality/communication style & partly because my feelings are easily hurt so I've no tolerance for people talking smack about me.


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14 Dec 2007, 4:47 pm

I'm not sure how a topic of "do you like spanking?" would be any worse than the one about 'cunnilinus' that's still active, not to mention others.

Also I agree that there needs to be some ability to speak of body functions and possible medical issues surrounding them such as constipation.
But, like it was mentioned above somewhere, it depends on whether the topic is brought up as a 'need to know' type topic or as a topic to cause emotional upheavel here (trolling?).

I work in the medical field and have for many years since 1978.
I can tell you that even today, I still see people who have no idea what they are talking about in regards to their own bodies.
Myths still abound that were around when I was a kid!

This is why I prefer open engagement concerning such topics rather than suppression or diverting away to a place/website that deals with these issues as kink.

Somedays I just want to scream at the next person who says, "It's such an interesting fact that blood is actually BLUE until it hits oxygen when you take it out of the body!" :wall:

Here's a clue... in blood... there's things called RED BLOOD CELLS! They carry OXYGEN inside the body!
:D

Anyway, I think this place has done a really good job of allowing freedom concerning the variety of topics allowed.
I still do not see any major problem or major escalation of 'inappropriate' posts here... but then, I've only been visiting here since September or so.

Oh, and by the way... where do I find the rules?
I read the TOS at the very end of the front page on this website, but there's a whole lot missing from what I read when dealing with material posted on this site.

Is there another place I'm just not seeing? :scratch:


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lau
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14 Dec 2007, 5:27 pm

wsmac wrote:
...Oh, and by the way... where do I find the rules?

Announcement: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt12459.html
At top of "General Autism Discussion": http://www.wrongplanet.net/forum3.html[/url]


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gwenevyn
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14 Dec 2007, 5:45 pm

greenblue wrote:
...it also depends on how one person says things, as sadly the less skilled you are on how to say things appropriately, the less likely you will be heard and a possibly target for being judge, that is a common thing that happens to aspies in the real world, and sadly it happens here as well, as you can see that the more outgoing people are, which are better with wording and how to approach things are the ones who are heard more.


I've been thinking a lot about this comment of yours, greenblue. I'm glad you brought it up. WP is in an interesting position because it is meant to be a community of people who have social difficulties. It's a bit of a puzzle, figuring out how to maintain an environment that avoids becoming a mere microcosm to the outside world, in which those with disabilities do not fare as well as those who can express themselves and self-advocate with greater ease. Some of that simply cannot be avoided. Some of it can be solved simply by being mindful of the possibility.

Are there other solutions?

One idea I've been thinking of is perhaps making a more detailed addition to the F.A.Q., explaining some ideas for members who need help figuring out how best to communicate their ideas (for example MrMark's recent suggestion to Pandora), what to do when they're being confronted with xyz, how to present an effective complaint, what to do if one is given a warning or a friend is banned, etc. These questions keep coming up again and again. Would a stickied list of suggestions actually help or would people find it condescending or offensive?


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lau
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14 Dec 2007, 6:11 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
... Would a stickied list of suggestions actually help or would people find it condescending or offensive?

I'm sure the latter is true, for a small minority, but that doesn't in any way stop the former from being a good idea.

Maybe it would be an idea to "revamp" the "MODERATOR ATTENTION" thread, to make that start with the list you're suggesting? There's no reason not to link to it from the FAQ, plus possibly have it there instead. The FAQ itself does, slightly tortuously, point people to the WP Rules. That could be improved, I guess.


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gwenevyn
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14 Dec 2007, 6:35 pm

lau wrote:
Maybe it would be an idea to "revamp" the "MODERATOR ATTENTION" thread, to make that start with the list you're suggesting? There's no reason not to link to it from the FAQ, plus possibly have it there instead.


:D Brilliant! I love it! You really are a genius.


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lau
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14 Dec 2007, 7:13 pm

:oops:


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15 Dec 2007, 3:57 am

wsmac wrote:
I'm not sure how a topic of "do you like spanking?" would be any worse than the one about 'cunnilinus' that's still active, not to mention others.

Also I agree that there needs to be some ability to speak of body functions and possible medical issues surrounding them such as constipation.
But, like it was mentioned above somewhere, it depends on whether the topic is brought up as a 'need to know' type topic or as a topic to cause emotional upheavel here (trolling?).



And worse. I've been thinking about this, and it seems to me there are certain posters who post things and get away with starting questionable threads because: one) they are part of the accepted crowd, and two) they are more facile in their verbal skills.

I think SpokaneGirl was picked out because her unusual kink. Also, she perseverated on it. I've read her posts, and while she squicked me a leetle bit, I didn't pick up she was doing it gratuitously. But the accepted folks starts kind of disgusting threads to get the crowd going sometimes. Especially if it's on escorts. I mean, come on, that's been discussed to death. It's been talked about in such detail and debated, it might as well be stickied. And I find the attitudes on that thread pretty disturbing in their misogyny and objectification to the point it makes me sick.

So, I just don't read them.

Maybe some members, who seem to need it, should be contacted by the mods by PM to discuss the inappropriateness of their posts. I know it might not be easy, but people seemed to pick up on Spokane Girl's posts. There are going to be others with a similar issue crop up. Is it that hard to do? I'm really asking...I'm not a mod, and I don't know what kind of time it takes, so I'm probably talking out of my hat.

Metta, Rjaye.



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15 Dec 2007, 4:07 am

Thanks Lau, I finally read the rules...hooray! :cheers:

Thanks Gwenyven... just for doing what your're doing! :thumright:


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Belfast
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15 Dec 2007, 8:16 am

It's not always clear when someone's posting about a 'taboo' subject or questionable matter whether intent/reason is for entertainment (prurient gratification) or for education (valid information).
Excretion & bodily functions, prostitution & controversial social issues-there are ways to discuss these that are offensive to many, and there are ways to word them that minimize the offense caused to others.

Generally (these aren't hardline absolute rules)-
If someone uses crude slang & displays utter lack of consideration for others' sensibilities (to extent these can be predicted/assumed), that tends to make me dismiss their comment.
If someone uses euphemisms & seems to be genuinely curious yet aware that a particular line of inquiry is likely to offend (as conveyed by their words), then I'm more likely to take that comment seriously & return that "respect" in my response.


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15 Dec 2007, 9:18 am

Rjaye wrote:
wsmac wrote:
I'm not sure how a topic of "do you like spanking?" would be any worse than the one about 'cunnilinus' that's still active, not to mention others.

Also I agree that there needs to be some ability to speak of body functions and possible medical issues surrounding them such as constipation.
But, like it was mentioned above somewhere, it depends on whether the topic is brought up as a 'need to know' type topic or as a topic to cause emotional upheavel here (trolling?).



And worse. I've been thinking about this, and it seems to me there are certain posters who post things and get away with starting questionable threads because: one) they are part of the accepted crowd, and two) they are more facile in their verbal skills.

I think SpokaneGirl was picked out because her unusual kink. Also, she perseverated on it. I've read her posts, and while she squicked me a leetle bit, I didn't pick up she was doing it gratuitously. But the accepted folks starts kind of disgusting threads to get the crowd going sometimes. Especially if it's on escorts. I mean, come on, that's been discussed to death. It's been talked about in such detail and debated, it might as well be stickied. And I find the attitudes on that thread pretty disturbing in their misogyny and objectification to the point it makes me sick.

So, I just don't read them.

Maybe some members, who seem to need it, should be contacted by the mods by PM to discuss the inappropriateness of their posts. I know it might not be easy, but people seemed to pick up on Spokane Girl's posts. There are going to be others with a similar issue crop up. Is it that hard to do? I'm really asking...I'm not a mod, and I don't know what kind of time it takes, so I'm probably talking out of my hat.

Metta, Rjaye.
This is the kind of thing I've been trying to explain but probably not as well as you. Even though I had a go at some of Spokane Girl's posts a while ago, I certainly didn't think they were anywhere near as objectionable as the misognistic posts put up by certain other posters.

It's one thing to talk about having bad experiences with one or more women but quite another to alienate other females on this forum by describing all women in derogatory, sexist, and hate-filled terms.


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15 Dec 2007, 3:02 pm

Pandora wrote:
This is the kind of thing I've been trying to explain but probably not as well as you. Even though I had a go at some of Spokane Girl's posts a while ago, I certainly didn't think they were anywhere near as objectionable as the misognistic posts put up by certain other posters.

It's one thing to talk about having bad experiences with one or more women but quite another to alienate other females on this forum by describing all women in derogatory, sexist, and hate-filled terms.


Yeah, I've definitely seen posts that do not delve into body topics but are certainly offensive to me when someone is denegrating a group like women (which surprisingly seems to happen quite often here :evil: ), certain religious sects, and certain political beliefs.
What's common throughout these is that they attack whole groups instead of a particular person in that group they may really be mad at.

But then, this same thing goes on in my real life too. I hear enough attacks towards groups of people, while at work.
It does get wearying to be bombarded by all this stuff, at times.


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