Poll regarding idea I had in another thread

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There's a debate in an existing thread about the "hate" language going on here with NT's. So, my idea is the WP create a different miniforum and call it the smoking section just to be for people to rant (with the rules to not say hateful things about ethnic groups, etc.). That way, everybody who doesn't want to read it knows how to avoid it, and it's disclaimed of what to expect when new people come on here. I think we do come across very insulting to people who aren't on the spectrum when we really don't mean to, and it's just our way of politely excusing ourselves from the main forums to go scream. Plus I don't think it's productive for us to be constantly reading it, but I think we almost need to be able to vent and have someone agree with they know where we are coming from for us to move passed it. Like it's a part of the Aspie therapy, but again, you probably don't want a 15 year old Aspie considering suicide to run into these rants by accident, or a 9 year old child who doesn't understand the abstract implications behind it reading it either. Tell me what you think?

I'm not sure. It coul be a good idea if people are bothered by reading lots of ranty posts. I personally don't have a problem with the posts here and just skip those I don't like, but maybe some people can't do that.

I need to also add that some people thought those things should be taken to the haven, but I don't think people feeling blue would appreciate fishing through ranty posts either. Sad and angry are two totally different emotions. Because angry can be destructive, I think a place where someone feels sad or possibly suicidal is the last place to put destructive posts.

I think the idea is good but I dont believe our thoughts and feelings should be censored. I think if NT folk come on here they need to have an idea of what kind of resentment can result from a life of bullying and social isolation. I think they need to read how we are feeling. I think the mods do a great job of keeping things in such threads under control.

I also think NT people would be suspicious if we made a forum in order to talk about them. They would think "what are they saying in there about us which would be so offensive that it needs its own subforum?" They would probably be even more drawn to those threads than if it were amongst more innocuous threads, because the resentment would be all in one big bunch.

I do agree with the sentiment though and Im sorry that the board is probably not a nice place for non-ASD people to visit. It would be nice if it were better for them. I do try and keep my resentment to a minimum for that reason.

But ultimately I think non-ASD people need to consider that the board is one created for ASD people primarily, and that there are not a lot of places for us to be ourselves amongst people who might be similar.

I believe there is a rant sticky in the haven.

On the one hand, I like the idea of corralling such stuff in one place.

On the other hand, having a place for such things says they are okay. And NTs don't deserve to be targets of hate anymore than any other group. Plus, then you'd have to, along with it, police the other forums and move inappropriate threads, which, as this is a pretty busy message board, is a lot of work for the moderators to take on.

I should also add that it wouldn't just be to talk bad about NT's. I kinda want to redefine the way we use the term NT and moderate that as well. No this would be more for angery posts, and Non AS people can go there too and complain about the annoyances of their AS family members if need be. Just a place to vent or allow the smoke to come out of your ears....the smoking section.

The haven seems to be designed for sad people. I just don't think it's appropriate to lump sad and angry people into the same forum, especially when the haven would be the one for someone whose a little suicidal to go to. We aren't trying to create homicidal/suicidal rages here.

Sad angry rants are one of the reasons I rarely read in the haven.

I don't understand why we have to change the WP rules so we can bash NTs with impunity. If you change the term NT for say, Race or Mental Illness, or Gays, or ret*d peoples, or people with Cancer or MS or Bedouins. . . the rules wouldn't allow it.

I don't mean it to bash people but a place for bashing the concept of normalcy. I think that gets confused for being specific people too often in the main forums. But if it had a locked sticky on the top of the forum explaining the rules in the sense that you aren't allowed to bash people, specifically or in general, but you can bash the concepts, I think it would provide two good things...one it keeps all the ranting and anger into one room so that people not looking for it won't accidentally come to it, and two, it keeps angry people in the right mind frame "Don't hate the playa, hate the game." Also, the mods would know where to look for posts that need to be a little more heavily moderated. Also on that sticky, it could say that this forum is for people who are angry to release frustrations and it's not really a debate forum. I think when people start to debate and judge someone who is already angry that it just adds fuel to the fire.

wow, I agree, Tantybi! let's see, that is
1. put stickies in the top of the Haven forum for bashing normalcy.
2. make sure people know "hate the game, not the player"
3. no one start a thread in a rant page.

did I miss anything?

I think you missed the whole point (like I wish they had a smilie i could put here with a plane flying over it's head as it turns around waiving bye bye). The haven is it's own thread for people who are feeling blue (the definition sitting next to it now). The Smoking Section would be for angry people who want to rant about whatever, including their frustrations regarding fitting into normalcy. The sticky on top of the smoking section would stipulate to direct hatred toward concepts and not directly at people (giving examples even to remind people not to say things like "NTs are nasty," as much as "some people can be nasty" or "Normalcy calls for nasty behavior"), and to ask people to try not to start debates with people who aren't looking to argue as much as wanting some advice, support, or just needs to vent. Like a way to remind people that we all say hurtful things that we don't mean when we are angry, and to try to give the person making rants a little bit of the benefit of the doubt (which doesn't seem to happen often here obviously). As for the "locked sticky," it would be locked because it's a rule/policy from WP and has no room for discussion on the rule and it will always be on top, and probably should have the title "Please Read Guidelines for Posting"; however, anyone could create new threads/topics in that forum. In addition, that sticky would probably say a bunch of things I have yet to think of including repeating the WP policies or linking to it. I'm just saying some things that can be brought up in those guidelines...in other words, I think it's important to remind people that the purpose is to be a place to express angry feelings in a constructive manner to include the following responsibilities on the people making posts, and the responsibilities of the people reading the posts. In other words, try not to insult people when you are writing, and try to be as sensitive to the person you are talking to as you are to the people you seem to advocate (whether it be Aspies, NTs, etc.) I'm trying to get across the subjects that I think need to be hit in the guidelines, but that doesn't mean they will use these subjects, but they need some additional guidelines for something like this, and I'm not the one to write them even though I think I can contribute some ideas of what to include to be worded differently.

Are you just wanting to argue or do you seriously think I'm trying to create a place so that I can make fun of NTs and gay people and people with cancer and not get banned for it?

I am not argueing, I was sincerely trying to get a grasp of your concepts. No, I didn't think for a second you wanted a section to make fun of NTs or gay people or cancer or MS or anything. I have found you a refreshingly earnest poster that brings out the best of every one when you answer posts. I am sorry if you think I am missing your point, Tantybi. Could we start again?

I was hoping to bring this up in the mod team's thread and see if anyone wants to monitor it in addition to their regular 'beats'.

Merle

I think you would want someone to tell you if it is a bad idea.

It's a bad idea.

Oh, well thank you. I'm sorry but sometimes I get the feeling people do miss my point. For years, I believed something was wrong with the way they listened, but I'm almost positive it's because of the way I speak/write now. But I find it helpful just to flat out ask people if they really think I'm saying this or if they understand what I'm trying to say.