Talking about people

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Ok, so maybe I'm just dense, but I was kinda under the impression that the rule against talking about people applied only to saying bad things about them. Since as far as I know nobody got in trouble from the thread in which the name was removed from all the posts, I'm figuring there was no major violation, but I was a bit surprised, particularly because I don't anything negative was said about the person, and as far as I know all the things that were said were things that the person being talked about had said in open threads anyways.
I'm not upset about it since there was quite obviously nothing malicious on the part of anybody (I think) but I did kinda want to ask for clarification. Is it okay to repeat things that have been said in open threads? I do that in my signature, and so do a lot of other people. I'm figuring that that's okay?
There was also a thread recently in which I thought the OP had some things that they didn't say, and I then wondered aloud who did say those things, because someone (almost) definitely said them, just not that person. (well, not aloud.. but you know what I mean, I think) Would it be a violation of the don't-talk-about-people rule for somebody who might remember who it was that had said that to tell me?
What about if somebody posts about a problem or something, and somebody else has mentioned having that issue before? Would it be wrong to say "________ had that problem before, maybe you should ask them." Of course, I guess just posting a link to that post would work.. but I can't always find past posts, particularly when I really want to.
I guess maybe it's all a grey area that's on more of a case-by-case basis?
So, given the thing about "he who asks is a fool for five minutes, he who does not ask is a fool forever," I figured I'd ask if there were any specific guidelines. (Of course, that one does contradict the one that says "better to be silent and thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt." is that the one I should be following? )

Ok.. so, getting back to my point.. is the Thou Shalt Not Talk About Others actually universal, or limited to saying bad things about them, and just sometimes names need to be taken out? I try not to gossip and stuff, although sometimes it can be hard, especially if other people do, but I don't usually think twice about talking about saying that I like someone, or saying something about them that they say all the time. I was also kinda confused by the reply post about how the person should edit their post; again, because nothing that was said seemed negative. Maybe not completely positive, but it was all things that the person who had been mentioned said about herself on a regular basis. Maybe I'm the only weirdo wondering this, but I thought maybe there were some other people too, so I figured I'd mention it.
(Again, my habit of saying the same thing over and over again in slightly different words rears it's ugly head.. Or many heads, as the case may be.. bit like a hydra. Really, I sooo did not mean this post to be so long. )

To me, the best is not talking about people. At all.
Not even if it's to repeat what they once said themselves openly.
What has been said has been said.
But that was in a specific moment in a particular mood to a specific person (or to a post on a forum).

When the moment is gone, it's gone.

But what I would do if I thought it could be really useful to someone else is maybe pm a link.
If you can't find it, then forget: the possibility to not remember well exactly the purpose and the context may mess up everything worst. Even if the meaning, your intention, was, in your mind, good.

That is on a serious subject.

Gossiping can be fun, really, but if you care about people, don't speak of them behind their back.
You never know how they can react about that. Some don't care, some do. And some can do both depending on the circumstances and people involved and the moods of everybody.

Keep in mind that what you understood from a situation or a post can be understood very differently from another point of view, another person.
(Try to speak in another language than yours and you will learn that very fast )

That's just not a practical way to go about talking to people, though. What you've said would make it impossible to pass on an idea that you got from somebody else. If you repeat something that somebody else said without saying that that person said it, it's plagiarism.
I make a point of not repeating things said in PM, particularly without permission, because they're said in PM for a reason.
I don't really understand what you mean by not ever repeating anything anybody says. We quote people all the time, that's why there is a button right up at the top of every post devoted to doing so. It specifies what it is that we're replying to. Should I not have quoted what you said that I didn't quite understand? Have I done something horrible by specifying what it is that you said that I'm writing a response to?
It gets a little fuzzier when quoting other threads, though, which is what I was posting to ask about.

I don't know the specific situation you are referring to, since it isn't something I read, but in general what one person sees as nothing negative may not be what another person sees as nothing negative. Plus, some people are uncomfortable when even good things they have done become public, because they may have reasons they preferred it private. You just never know how the person discussed is going to feel about it.

Voilà.

Maggiedoll, if you think someone had a good idea that didn't occur to you first, you can make it yours.
You can say, for example: "I heard, I read something the other day..."
Unless it's a brand new idea that popped ut to the world, it usually doesn't matter if it came to you first or to someone else.
We're not in the art or industrial fields here.

Of course you could quote me: it's still the same thread, the same conversation.

And also, in your first post, it was mentionned "talking about people" not about making their ideas yours - which is kind of different.

(And if I say as DW_a_mom: I don't know the specific situation you're referring to, since it isn't something I read, it could look like echolalia but, in that case, I take the sentance as it is because it fits perfectly well with my own situation.
The day I'll speak and write a very very good English, maybe I'll know how to say it differently but for now, I take her words )

(Hope you don't mind my borrow DW_a_mom!)

Well the thread I was referring to involved somebody very close to a WP member asking for help understanding her. The responses mostly involved people saying that they liked that particular member, including someone describing her as one of the most popular people on WP and someone else mentioning that she's the only person that has never gotten on their nerves at all. The things that were repeated that the person had said were mostly to mention things that seem important to them, and frequently bring up. At least one person also said something about relating to her, and comparing her experiences to their own.
If parallel things were said about me (our situations are certainly different, but things along similar lines,) then I think it'd make me feel great!
(I did get a PM from one other person who read this thread, saying that he doesn't mind being talked about at all, and finds it to be an ego boost.)

What I'd previously seen concerning talking about people was this:

So I was kinda figuring that the discussing somebody was a rule against discussing negative things. Given that nobody has, to the best of my knowledge been exterminated, or even told off, besides the editing of the posts involved, it doesn't seem that it was considered to be a major problem; like I said, everything was complimentary. I was just kinda surprised when I saw that the name had been edited out by a moderator. It does say no discussing, but I thought it was in the context of discussing bad things.

But since it hadn't occurred to me at all, at the time of posting my reply to that thread, that mentioning by name that I like somebody would be inappropriate, I wanted to inquire as to whether there were any rule of thumb concerning inoffensive and/or positive comments about people. It is okay to compliment other members, right?
I guess I'll just let this drop, since it seems that all the answers I'm getting in thread have to do with the assumption that negative things were actually said... If they were, I wouldn't have created this thread.

I can't vouch for official rules, but, as a courteousy thing, and a respect for privacy thing, other than famous people, if you are talking about someone in a trying to understand them sort of way, or in a what they're like way, it's best to keep it anonymous. Don't give identifying details.

Sharing an idea of someone else's is a different situation, with no simple answer. Sometimes it's best to not name the person. Sometimes not naming them is disrespectful. But that's a different situation than the kinda thing you describe in the thread you make reference to.

In those kind of situations, it's best to not name the person, and not say otherthings that identify them. The details about the other person shouldn't matter anyway. You (whoever's posting) are posting about your issues. Or, that's how it should be. They happen to involve another person. But their name and identify aren't what's important. Gossipy talk about someone else isn't appropriate in a public forum.

I agree.. and maybe I'm just not great at identifying when something is gossip or not? It really didn't seem like it to me. Anything that wasn't outright complimentary to the person was simple facts about them that they say all the time anyways.
I thought all the stuff that was said was stuff that'd be likely to give someone a warm fuzzy feeling of being liked..

Maybe I shouldn't have used the word "gossipy".

It doesn't matter if it's positive or neutral or negative.

The issue is someone else being the subject of conversation. That's what makes it gossipy, as I used the word.

On a forum such as this one, unless you are talking to someone, or crediting to them an idea (where crediting them is the respectful thing to do), then it's best, in my opinion, to not name the person.

Actually, the main reason I stay anonymous here (don't give identifying details about myself) is so that, if I have reason to, I can talk about certain people in my life, and give information about the relationship, without identifying the person.