Issue with what I see as a double standard on WP

Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

KenM
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,491
Location: Mass. USA

20 Jan 2010, 5:00 pm

I posted a thread about how I feel women on dating sites are hypocritical. Someone took that as a personel attack on all women. I never said all women. I said women on dating sites. I know not every women are on dating sites, so anyone with two brain cells to rub together should be able to figure that I was not attacking all women and it was my point of view.

Plus other people posted in that thread that they feel that men are hypocritical as well. I can see that view as well and respect it. I did not take it as a personel attack. But I am the one that gets a warning from a mod about attacking people for having the same point of view as other people here.


Double standard much?



DW_a_mom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,689
Location: Northern California

20 Jan 2010, 7:23 pm

I don't think you can speak accurately to all women on dating sites, either. I would suggest the following: "based on my personal experience, it feels to me like the women I've encountered on dating sites are hypocritical." First, you haven't met everyone and, second, hypocracy can be a matter of perception. I haven't read your thread in this particular case, but I have noticed you tend to generalize a little further than my liking in the past, so maybe that is the case this time. It is also important to realize that just because you feel an interpretation is true, does not make it true. When you phrase things in recognition of that, the conversation usually goes better. Never assume any conclusion (ie that you are talking about a particular subgroup) is obvious; be clear.


_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


t0
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 726
Location: The 4 Corners of the 4th Dimension

20 Jan 2010, 11:15 pm

KenM wrote:
so anyone with two brain cells to rub together should be able to figure that I was not attacking all women and it was my point of view.


Oh no! Another personal attack!

Just kidding. Yeah, I think you should be able to say what you did without mod intervention. If you were throwing out names "xxx is hypocritical" you'd probably run up against the word of the policy.



sinsboldly
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon

21 Jan 2010, 1:04 am

t0 wrote:
KenM wrote:
so anyone with two brain cells to rub together should be able to figure that I was not attacking all women and it was my point of view.


Oh no! Another personal attack!

Just kidding. Yeah, I think you should be able to say what you did without mod intervention. If you were throwing out names "xxx is hypocritical" you'd probably run up against the word of the policy.


Quote:
*The following activities are unacceptable on WrongPlanet: behavior intended to provoke or belittle other members; anything else that purposely causes conflict with other members.


WP has a sister site that is a dating site, Aspie Affection. Many of the members here are on that site.


Why would some guy that was trying to attract women blast all women on dating sites? Do you think that word doesn't get around? Does he think that women are going to be attracted to a man that provokes and belittles 'all women on dating sites?" Talk about shooting yourself in the foot.


_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon


KenM
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,491
Location: Mass. USA

21 Jan 2010, 6:12 am

sinsboldly wrote:

Why would some guy that was trying to attract women blast all women on dating sites? Do you think that word doesn't get around? Does he think that women are going to be attracted to a man that provokes and belittles 'all women on dating sites?" Talk about shooting yourself in the foot.



Well I have never had a decent reltionship, always been rejected for almost 25 years of trying. Sorry you get a little bitter when you get rejected all your life.

I would not try aspie affection, has lots of bots going to other dating sites.

I think other people here need to see what I wrote back to you in my last message, Sinsboldy. Here it is:

Well it seems on that other post other people did not see it as what I said was an attack. But for some reason you do. So I think there is is a double standard here. Other people have said the same thing about men. Other people seem to think I did nothing wrong. But now you are harassing me about it.

Just to be clear, we are talking about my thread of how I call women on datign sites hypocrites? You NEVER said what thread it was. When you warn people about what they write on WP you need to be very clear on what it was that caused people to get upset. The first message I got from you about this was that I was attacking women again, you made no refence to what it was I said.

Since you did not ask my question in my last message I need to ask it again. Did you give a warning to the people in that thread that said men can be hypocrites as well? Yes or no? Because if you did not then that means its OK on WP for people to say that men are hypocrites but women are not.



KenM
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,491
Location: Mass. USA

21 Jan 2010, 6:21 am

sinsboldly wrote:

WP has a sister site that is a dating site, Aspie Affection. Many of the members here are on that site.



So I am getting a warning because of what people might think from another web site? Are all the mods going to send out warnings to people becuse it may be offensive to someone on another site?



lau
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2006
Age: 75
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,776
Location: Somerset UK

21 Jan 2010, 7:38 am

KenM wrote:
... The first message I got from you about this was that I was attacking women again, you made no refence to what it was I said.
...

You are saying that you attack women in so many different threads that you were unsure which specific thread it was that you were being warned about.

Just read the WrongPlanet Rules and abide by them. There are no double standards. If your posts break the rules, you (may) get warned. If you continue to break rules you will get banned. This thread seems to be your application for a ban.


_________________
"Striking up conversations with strangers is an autistic person's version of extreme sports." Kamran Nazeer


KenM
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,491
Location: Mass. USA

21 Jan 2010, 9:18 am

I said I have attacked women in older threads. I know I was wrong. But I made a few different posts the day I got the warning. The moderator that warned me did not say what post it was that everyone seems to be so upset about. I think the mods need to tell you that when issuing warnings. Other members seem to have no issue with what I said.



miszt
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2009
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 89

21 Jan 2010, 9:28 am

Why does it matter? You started out with a generalized assumption, based on your own limited experience, and then went on a rant about it....I would suggest that if you do not want to upset people, dont make assumptions, and dont generalize; these things are called Prejuidices, and they do nothing whatsoever to improve yours or anyone elses life :)

As they say, Assumption is the Mother of all **** ups