Can we have a calm and honest discussion

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I wish there was a way to talk openly without my threads being closed/deletted. I am not forcing you to do anything. I just wish we could have a discussion so that I can explain why I can change my behavior and we can honestly discuss whether or not I am to be believed.

It is not the case of impatience. If you tell me that I should wait another two or three months and then be reconsidered than it is fine. I am just worried that now my case will NEVER be reconsidered since, after waiting for half a year, I started misbehaving again.

I wish I could just apologize for my behavior yesterday. I mean, due to Asperger, there are plenty of times when I do something wrong without meaning to. That was the case half a year ago, which is why I lost my PM rights. However, it is even more frustrating when there are FEW instances when I DO get a chance I desire and then I screw it up by PURPOSEFUL misbehavior -- that was the case yesterday when mods finally agreed to review my case and then I was PURPOSELY rude both to mods and other members.

So I wish I could pretend these latter instances are not there. After all, a purposeful misbehavior has nothing to do with lack of social skills, and thus can be easilly fixed if only I CHOOSE to stop it. So I made my choice to stop my misbehavior yesterday. But I don't have a chance to demonstrate it because I got shut down. On my end, I made up my mind that, from now on, I won't do any of it. I wish I could just have an apportunity to show it or something. It is really a pity since there are too many times when I screw things up without meaning to, so it is pity that the few times which I DO have ability not to screw up, I ruin on purpose.

Anyway, I am not asking you to do anything, but can you at least respond to this thread without closing it, so we can have a discussion on it.

The massive bulk of the members on WrongPlanet can shut down VOLUNTARY behaviour before they reach the point of it being purposeful misbehaviour

when members can't govern themselves, they get shut down, Roman. When members continually can't govern themselves, they continue to be moderated and PM privileges are not restored. It seems far more humane than just banning you from the site, being far away from home, as you are, Roman.



How you chose to govern your actions are not WP's responsibility, so if you are depending on WrongPlanet.net to calm you down before you chose to be irresponsible it is much simpler to just eliminate the periodic disruption, Roman. There are a limited amount of people that keep WP maintained and functioning. Members that can govern themselves are the hands down favorites of each one of those people.

In my opinion: You demonstrate it by continually posting appropriately, and then asking about PM after a decently long period of time using the "contact us" button on the site, and quietly accepting whatever does - or does not - happen.

but that "Contact Us" button does next to nothing, DW. It goes to Alex, only. none of the mods or admins know what gets posted there.

It is not periodic. I was a member since 2005. There were only two instances that got me into trouble: asking for money half a year ago, and swaring in the thread a few days ago.

Perhaps what happened is that I got a sense that WP is very open minded, since none of the posts where I was talking about myself too much or debating with other members got me into trouble, even though that would have been off putting to an NT. So I guess I just took the WrongPlanet for granted and became a bit too relaxed which is what got me into trouble.

However, now that I found out exactly where the line is, I can stay away from it. Right now I know the rules of the game:

1. Asking for money is not appropriate

2. Swearing is not approrpiate

3. Everything else is fine

Up until now, because of 3, I was unaware of 1 and 2 (and I must tell you I would have been unaware of 1 anyway, because due to my asperger there are a lot of things I am unaware of that I don't directly encounter). But now that I do know exactly where the line is, I would act much better.

No, Roman, there is more to it than that:

Site Rules

Terms of Service



M.

Okay I have read these. I admit, I didn't read any of them when I started using the forums, but I did now so I "fixed" that problem. Let me be more specific. When I didn't know the rules, I figured that since it was okay for me to argue with other members, it is also okay to swear. Now that I read these rules I see that the former is indeed okay (I am permitted to attack an opinion as long as I don't attack the person), while the latter is not (they actually included swearing as part of no-no list).

However, these rules didn't include the one about not asking for money. I understand that this is because most people find it evident, as a result of their experience elsewhere. But like I said due to Asperger my experience is limitted to things I encounter directly, which is why I am unaware of things like that. Right now I became aware of money since I encountered it. So now I won't do that either.

Swearing? What swearing? I have sworn about 100 times on WP and never got so much as a comment on it, let alone a warning, let alone anything else. Why? Because WP has a bad word filter-- the words that the staff think should not be used are automatically asterisked out in the posts they are written in. Maybe thye overlooked the words you used and didn't add them to the filter. Otherwise, the mod that told you off for swearing was probably one of the ones that is probably soon to be banned.

Just because there is a filter doesn't mean that there is a license to swear; the issue of language is addressed within the site rules that Alex provided, as there are members on this site as young as 8 years of age. While it may not be an issue to you, WP is a support site for all those on the spectrum and should provide a safe environment as such. In the Adult Issues Forum, there's been great latitude given since the audience is to over 18 and assumed to be mature enough to deal with such language on their own terms.


M.

Is swearing unsafe for those over 18? How?

Under the age of 18, in many countries, is consider to be a minor and under the age of consent. Given the young age of some members here, maintaining a level of decorum and keeping what is considered a parent-friendly environment is something that I keep in mind as a moderator. While I recognize that age is not an absolute definition of maturity, it is the benchmark most commonly used. However, I would point out that you've taken parts of two different sentences to form the basis for your question - there is more than one aspect to the answer given. Ultimately, it comes down to whether such behavior breaks the rules as written... which it does. If this is such a concern for you, why not focus on the cause of changing the rules to reflect what you think is correct instead of violating them in protest?


M.

How does these ruling go in the Adult areas. Is it more discretionary. Kind of all adults, "You have heard it before, so long as it is not vulgar"? Or is it as keenly met with discipline?

As I've said before, more latitude tends to be given in the Adult Issues forum. That does not equate to implicit permission to be as vulgar and profane as one wants, but an attempt to allow for more expression. While I am not coming up with any examples off the top of my head, I am would not be surprised that at some point I (personally) have addressed the abuse of language even in the Adult forum at least once with a warning asking them to be more aware in the future.


M.

Fair call. I am surprised TBH.

Your feedback is appreciated.


M.

So I see what you are sayign: I can use bad language on adult section but not elsewhere.

But here is the thing: the presence of minors on this forum simply never occured to me. Since I don't see your faces I was assuming you are all "uniform" and that "uniform mean" is adult. Now that you pointed it out I see the point: anyone can participate so nothing stops minors from doing so. But it never occured to me until you pointed it out.

So now that I see it can you reconsider getting my PM priviledges back?