Being banned from the chatroom

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I decided to try joining the chat room. I have participated in other, not-autism-related, chatrooms before, and didn't have much luck. Typically there was a group of 20 people engaging in some word games I couldnt even keep track of much less participate. I was hoping that in the Asperger forum it would be different, after all they are aspies just like me. But no, it ended up being exactly the same as in the NT chatrooms I used before! There were like 30 people playing some stupid word game who completely ignored me when I walked in and introduced myself. I am seriously considering that perhaps my Asperger is 10 times more severe than other people's version of it. After all, other people on Wrongplanet have friends and relationships while I am a complete loner, and apart from that other people engage in that spontaneous NT word game which I cant follow.

Anyway in my desperate attempt to participate I decided to bring up an intence topic, the kind I CAN talk about. But all that happened is that they just ganged up on me -- in a typical NT-gossip-fashion -- and then I was banned 5 minutes later. I even saw these damn kids joking around whether i should be banned or not -- so is the mod that banned me listens to what these KIDS have to say??? I really wish I can get back to that chat room. While others there are just a bunch of damn kids with 100 friends and word games, I am the one lonely aspie desperate for a company. Also as an aspie I am a bit clumsy, hence I made a blunder that got me kicked off. But you should not judge the person by their CLUMSINNESS!! ! I wish people could give me more time to really get to know me.

What was the topic you brought up?

Lot of people get banned from the chatroom it seems like, nothing personal.

Spent 20 minutes, left.

The channel operators for, and #wrongplanet itself, are entirely independent from Wrong Planet the web site, and the moderators here have no jurisdiction there.
Any issues with #wrongplanet can only be resolved there.

From my (brief) experience with IRC, bans are usually temporary and last 24 hours - but it really depends on why the ban was implemented.
I'd leave it for a couple of days before trying again and when you do, ask one of the ops why you were banned.

It's not even worth your time spending it on these chatrooms. From my personal experience (especially with WP chat) it's been nothing but appalling.

I got banned there for absolutely no good valid reason whatsoever by a corrupted moderator who apparently used to moderate here. Only because he could not stand me for whatever reason? I don't know and I probably don't care about it so much now since I've been pretty much grown up from a lot of my old ways.

I rejoined in again and was able to walk into the room yet got banned because he thought I was trying to be smart, not even worth my time in chatrooms like that and it's not even worth my time.

I may come back but definitely not under superboyian.

Just had a look and lurked for ten minutes. A few school-age people talking about mild aspergers. It doesn't seem like a very scalable medium; more than three of four people chatting must become unmanageable - like trying to join in conversations at a crowded party with everyone talking about different things and hearing all the different conversations at the same time. Noisy chaos.

I've participated in one to one chats in private chat-rooms and that is manageable provided you've got topics to talk about; it can become a bit strained if there are long pauses. Personally I prefer PMs and email where you can take your time. Don't think I'll be visiting the WP chatroom again.

What was your nick there, OP? I'll have a look.

Some notes on the channel though: As I write, there are ~150 human users connected. #wrongplanet is now one of the larger channels on freenode, although at busy times as you observed, maybe 20 or 30 would be active at a time. Other times, it can be idle for hours. Not being overwhelmed by all the cross-chatter can be difficult if you're not used to the medium (and even if you are, at times), and I wonder if we're getting to the point where it would be better for new users to land in a smaller channel that is more manageable.

As one of the moderators pointed out, channel ops and forum moderators don't really communicate much, so the best way to get a grievance taken care of is to message an operator. The most active operators are Corin, myself (P_B), Baxtir, luckybunny, ccallahan, Anastazia, JoeLlama, Arsanerit, and alli.

It's unfortunate that you felt excluded, but reading through your comments here, I think your perception differs from the reality a bit. A bunch of people with 100 friends talking about their mild asperger's? Not the wp I know. The word for the way you felt is "alienated", and it's something I think in warm-and-fuzzy land would be nice to avoid for new chatters, but making that a reality is obviously harder.

Keep in mind, finally, that as with any medium, there is etiquette and mores that people expect you to observe on IRC, most of which are fairly obvious, some parts of which though, that are unwritten yet people expect you to pick up anyway. Be patient and persevere while you pick them up, if you want to get anything out of it.

tl;dr Message the operators about any problems, they'll try to help. Bans happen for reasons, but they're usually short, and sometimes people make mistakes.

I was Anon with some number. I indicated I wanted to change Anon to Roman and asked how to do it, but everyone ignored me.



Well I am talking to you right now.



Not being able to "pick up" on things is a very definition of Asperger. If we were "picking up" on stuff, then this whole Wrong Planet forum won't be needed to begin with! This is my main complaint in general: why am I judged for the fact that I dont pick up on social rules? I mean I am deep, thoughtful and intelligent person. I care about human beings -- as humans -- not as pawns in some silly game I have to "pick up" the rules! When people have intelligent conversation I do the best to contribute in whatever way I can. But when people just play ping pong then I simply can't relate. So why should I be banned for not "picking up" on ping pong? Life is more than just ping pong!

Ah I see now. It was I who banned you. Here is the exchange:

Nov 24 09:56:05 <Anon649> hi everyone
Nov 24 09:56:15 <Anon649> why do they call me anon
Nov 24 09:56:18 <Anon649> i am Roman
Nov 24 09:56:23 <Anon649> i want my name to be Roman not anon
Nov 24 09:59:26 <Anon649> by the way i find it offensive they put on top of this chat Autism Spectrum DIVERSITY Chat. I dont want to be lumped together with [mod edit: racial slur and homophobic remark removed]
Nov 24 10:00:29 <yayimnotanon344a> yes anon649 i believe you fall into the c**t category
Nov 24 10:00:31 <OtakuKitten> Anon649, I assure you, I wouldn't want to be mixed with people with your attitude nor would anyone else here.
Nov 24 10:01:46 * P_B has kicked Anon649 from #wrongplanet (Convictersity Represent Yo)



This is an example of one of the things I'd expect you to know without being told, but I will explain anyway. This kind of speech is obviously intolerable if we are to have any kind of insightful chat. There are black people in the room. There are homosexual and bisexual people in the room (quite a number, actually). Neither of these groups can be expected to put up with that kind of vulgarity directed against them, and if you're not willing to share space with them, it's you who needs to move on. Generally when we see someone join and immediately start spouting that kind of garbage, we don't wait to find out what their issue is, we just ban without a second thought, which is what happened here.

Homophobia and racial slurs are never okay in any situation. Never okay. Now you know. I'm surprised you didn't know that.

I think I didn't explain clearly what I was referring to. What I was objecting to is the fact that Asperger Syndrome was most likely the reason why the word "diversity" was up there to begin with at the title of the chat "diversity chat". So I don't like the fact that having Asperger forces me to be lumped together with the minority groups with whom I otherwise would never have to be lumped together. Now, I realize most people will answer "and why do you care so much about being lumped together with them? We are all equal" Well, if so, why not put "diversity chat" up at the NT chatrooms to make a point how we are all equal? Why is it that aspies, in particular, have to be "diverse" and not others?

Here is a nice logical parallel to that. So when they were trying to kick me out of graduate school back in 2006 they were telling me "you don't have to be a physicist, there are all these other options of your career that are not any worse!". But you see, they don't really mean that other careers are "not any worse" -- after all they won't just randomly advice someone they believe to be a promising physicist to change their career, they only said it to me because I did badly. Being "lumped together" with minority groups is totally similar. Its like saying "I know you are inferior, but it doesn't matter anyway". Well why not instead say "yes it matters and you know what, you are SUPERIOR, just like Einstein and Newton and all these other wonderful people with Asperger!! !"

And by the way the situation with expulsion illustrates the "racism" point even on a more closer level. The immediate thing that triggered the expulsion was when I started yelling racial slurs at a Chineeze and black student in a computer room. But was this the main reason for expulsion? Hell no! The main reason was that I spent five years in graduate school without any progress. As a matter of fact, the letter that they have written indicated that I need to find a research advisor by a certain date and if I fail to do so then I will be expelled. So then, why is it even related to the incident with the black student? Simple. If I am being a productive researcher, then everyone understands that whatever I say or don't say to black students is far less important than all the wonderful research I am doing. On the other hand, if I am completely unproductive, then I become "unimportant" and therefore they can start worrying about black students (among other excuses such as they are "too busy" to give me a project).

And this is directly parallel to "diversity chat" at the top. Once you have Asperger, then "diversity" becomes important since that is the level you sink down to. Just like once I didn't make enough academic progress then my interaction with black students became important, as well. And this is similar to how people operate in general. For example some people in Europe might be antisemitic but they wont tell directly that they don't like jews; instead they worry about "tolerance" towards palestinians. Or similarly some jews might dislike gentiles but they wont say it directly they will just worry about "tolerance" towards blacks (as in, when they encourage whites to mix with blacks while they themselves wont mix with gentiles). Or on a more practical level, when an aspie complains about being allienated they are being told "don't worry, all this social stuff is stupid anyway"; yet when some popular guy doesn't have any "action" for a week then they will all bend backwards trying to bring him some "action". So they don't consistently mean that "it doesn't matter" do they? The whole "tolerance" business is just a way to make someone feel "unimportant" instead of hurting them directly. And lumping aspies together with minorities seem to validate some of the assumptions people make about aspies.

By the way, I know it is off topic, but in case you are curious as to why I didn't make enough progress in grad school, here is what happened:

1. I didn't immediately realize that courses is the main thing for undergrads, while for grad students research is the main thing. So I neglected research in favor of taking as many courses as I can fit in

2. I picked string theory as a research topic. But then there were a number of assumptions they take as axioms which I "didn't like". So I spent lots of time "rewriting" string theory in a way that I "like" it better and did not start reading the stuff I was assigned to until I was done with "changing the axioms" -- and I kept feeling I was "almost done' yet there were more and more things I had to finish.

As a result I was given a letter that unless I find an advisor by a certain date they would kick me out. Now the date was made up just for me. Even though I spent 5 years in graduate school, in reality first 3 years were in a DIFFERENT grad school. So in the new grad school it was my second year. And the typical final date people have is the fifth semester. But in my case they shifted it to the end of the fourth semester in order to make things harder on me. Kind of like "If a student does badly, just give them more difficult test so you can fail them" (well hello??? if they are really so bad you wont need to make test harder in order to fail them!! !) -- and yes that letter was the result of faculty meeting that was triggered by my racial slurs, hence the connection.

Now, the problem is that the professors with whom I was not making progress spread bad reputation about me across the depratment. So no one was agreeing to work with me all the while I HAD to find someone by the said date. I kept telling them "okay now I finally realized I should simply do a different area of physics where I won't have to be stuck on the axioms". No one was giving me a chance, probably because they just thought that I was only making excuses. Well the day before the expulsion date finally one retired professor agreed to work with me. He later told me he wasn't agreeing with what I was saying either, he simply wanted to "give me a break". But you know what -- I ended up being right. As a matter of fact I have successfully completted my Ph.D. within upcoming three years, and that happened for the exact reason I said it would -- I now knew rules of the game AND I was no longer stuck on a specific thing I was stuck before since I selected the area of physics where it is not the issue.

Now that I did get Ph.D. no one is telling me "oh, it doesn't really matter whether you are a physicist or not", everyone says "yes being a physicist MATTERS but you CAN DO IT". In the same way, why call it "diversity chat" and tell aspies "oh it doesn't matter what your social status is". Why not say "yes your status matters AND you can be great like Einstein".

You were kicked from an IRC channel, that usually lasts no more than a week, so there is no need to complain about it.

So, you are saying you are superior to black people, Chinese people, Jews and gay people and don't like to be associated with them or any other "minorities" because it tarnishes your sense of superiority and self-image of being like Einstein?

I am not saying I am like Einstein. All I am saying is I want a fighting chance to prove myself whether I am or not -- before I am being told "dont worry about it, none of it matters anyway". It is quite insulting to be told not to play game X because game X is "silly" while I know for a fact that the very person who tells me not to play it is enjoying playing it themselves. Look at the following facts:

1. They dont put the word diversity on other chatrooms, they only put it on aspie chat room.

2. What I said to black student was only an issue in the context of my bad academic progress. Once I improved my academic work, no one was punishing me for what I said any more.

3. When I worry about gossip people tell me not to worry about it because its silly. Yet they themselves worry about other peoples opinions of THEM, but they are telling ME not to. More importantly, they would not be saying it to someone whom they dont view as deserving isolation like me.

4. When Anne LJBF-ed me she told me "how would our relationship be any different if we were in a relationship?" Well I can throw that question right back at her: obviously there is a difference since she made it a point to call me a friend rather than a partner

5. When a loner cant find a date he is being told "dont worry she is there somewhere", yet when a real popular guy happened to be alone just for a week then everyone worries to find him some action.

6. Jews are at the forefront of the idea that whites should mix with blacks, yet they themselves wont mix with non-jews

7. Europeans are telling Jews to be tolerant of palestinians, yet they themselves are not tolerant of the arabs that are terrorizing them.

So you see that when I presented the above facts I didnt even have to mention my own views of said minority groups. I simply pointed out the inconsistencies. When others say something doesnt matter htey dont really mean it, they are only saying it in a specific context, and that context tend to put aspies down if you look at it closely enough.

So the only thing I want to ask is this: if blacks or gays are not inferior, why cant you guys call all the other chatrooms "diversity chat" just to celebrate the concept of diversity? Why is the term "diversity chat" reserved ONLY for an aspie chatroom?

Last edited by Roman on 25 Nov 2012, 7:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

As I read it, the title of the chat room simply relates to the neural diversity of those of us on the Autistic spectrum. Frankly I have no idea why you are talking about black people and gay people and concepts of inferiority?

It didnt say neuro-diversity, it said diversity. Thats why I brought up blacks and gays since normally diversity refers to them and now all of a sudden they put aspies under that same umbrella.