ATT ALEX: Re: Graelywyngate

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http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... start=3300

Alex I sent you an Email regarding moderator abuse of members ^ but i do not know if you received it or not, because someone stole my password and hacked my inbox and i cannot access it and am afraid that if i do they may have put a virus in it. I have also had many posts deleted and altered without explanation. I really think you should do a investigation and sort this mess out.

Thank you!

The link doesn't seem to point to where you want.
Might be a matter of some of the removals.

I think that this is a particularly ugly situation, and
while some of your complaints are valid, and should
be addressed, there is also an issue that you have been
making personal attacks on Graelwyn, in regards to a
(at best) nominally involved matter.

Please do us all a favor, and sit back and think about
the things which are most irksome to you about this -
preferably previous to the exchanges that you've been
having - and write a complaint without the insinuations.

It had been my intention to keep most of this an internal
matter, between we mods and alex, but it seems that it
is blowing all out of proportion, and I shall endeavor to
give my view on it. I don't feel that anything too terrible
was going on, but perhaps I'm not aware of every aspect.

What you’re talking about doesn't make sense. The pm system is just a script. There is no 'in it'. You don't get special software than can be infected. If there was a weakness in that script that could be exploited the least of their worries would one person PMs (or PMS ). Sit tight I'm sure it would be sorted soon. Like I said it is probably just someone with an automated spam script. It does need to be looked into in case there is a weakness. Obviously the current restriction is way to high, seeming based mostly on physical space rather than messages. They need to lower it.

I think I see what she's talking about. You have to scroll down to almost the bottom of the page - it's the exchange between Graelwyn and Santa_Claus. Her orginal post was edited later, but you can still read it in the quotes. (If you still don't see it, I can quote it onto this thread.)

I have no idea about the PMs.

Ah, I see. This was at a particularly bad
moment for the moderating staff. We all
learned a bit more of what we were supposed
to be doing, on that day. I would consider
that water under the bridge, which should
simply be left alone.

There have been similar incidents in the past however, on different days. I'm sure if bizarre was feeling motivated enough, she could dig up more examples. (I found one within five minutes.)

Look, this isn't my fight. I have no interest in starting to flame Graelwyn (though I'm sure that some would consider me to be flaming at the moment simply by siding with bizarre), and I have no idea what the PM situation is about, but I've seen some of the things that bizarre is talking about. She's not crazy, and I don't want her complaints to go under the bridge because she's not doing this professionally.

Indeed. The lack of restraint, on her part, has
only inflamed the situation. What you are doing
is by no means flaming, and is EXACTLY what
we need, in order to understand where we are
making mistakes. It will also be easier for Alex
to understand.

What would you like? I can help, I think, if you're interested.

What occurred between myself and Santa Claus was actually sometime ago and occurred in the haven, again, a place we are supposedly free to rant and get angry. I find it pathetic to be trying to dig up anything you can to incriminate me. Some people want me de-modded? Fine, just state it instead of trying to make me feel like s***. I have never seen such vindictiveness in my entire life, I don't think and that is sure what it looks like to me...let's get revenge on Graelwyn for the occasions she *shock* got upset and posted as upset people are prone to do. The occasions I have lost it with anyone on here can be counted on one hand.

Graelwyn, how you're acting right now is part of the problem. I'm not out to get you, but I see validity in some of bizarre's complaints - some, not all -, and I don't think she's doing a good job bringing them up. Just because you're in the Haven does not mean you can attack someone, haven't you realized that? As you yourself have said, personal attacks are not allowed. You said that in the Haven actually. You're not even following the rules - the rules you're supposed to be enforcing - now.

You've got power on these boards, as all mods do. If you can't control yourself, you can't control that power. You're upset a lot of the time. Things that perhaps you don't view as attacks are viewed as attacks by others. You have a responsibilty on these forums, and quite frankly, you're not living up to it well.

Being a mod does not instantly change one's issues or make them perfect. Something was said that upset me, what do you think I can do, blind myself to it and flick a switch so it does not effect me? Do you want robotic moderators who are not as human as the members they are moderating? Yes, I did lash out...and removed my post afterwards, which was the best I could do. I don't appreciate one incident being gredged up again. In fact, apart from that, I can only think of two others where I have behaved inappropriately to other members.

And yes, Actually, I think you are very much attacking me...but then I am used to it, except I had hoped I wouldn't get this on an AS board. I have seen others on here behave much worse than me, but because I am a mod, I get dragged through the dirt and made to feel even sh**tier than I already do most of the time, and does that matter ? No. Because all that matters to you people are my mistakes and not the whole other 99% of it. The threads I have moved to their right places with pms of explanations, the situations I have come in on and tried to calm down, the times I have pm'd members when I see they are struggling, the times I have actually managed to ignore barbs in my direction.

If you think that Bizarre baiting me all over the place and casting negative assertions on my personality and issues, is acceptable way to havce bought this up, fine. I don't think it is acceptable to push someone and flame them at a rocky period of their lives.
I also don't think it is just to say...you aren't logical and objective enough to be a mod...as most of the time I am very objective in situations. Just not when things are said that are flames against myself. You seem to be honing in on the negative, and to my mind, it is just an attempt to push me off of here and put me in my place, as if I am not already in my place most of the time anyway.

You seem to have this idea that I view being a mod as power. I do not. Hence I do not behave as if I am outside the rest of you, why should I? I am still a member in the end, I still have my issues in the end, I am still human in the end, and by God, I have never claimed I am perfect. And in truth, seeing what being a mod has done, and allowed others to do, I wish I had not been made one. My security and sense of safety and friendship here meant more to me than that, but it is too late now as I dont feel secure here anymore. I wont sit here to have everyone come in and rip my personality to shreds when I do that myself already

True. The one danger though is in using one's modding powers in an
attempt to defend oneself. It's a tricky call, whenever you are involved
in a discussion. I don't think that you've gone further in defending yourself
in these instances, than you have in defending others. But, the very issue
that it involves you, makes it a tougher pill to swallow, for those who have
their posts moved.

Most of the mods tend to be less active in defending ANYONE, so the issue
simply doesn't arise at all. I pretty much only remove a flame war, when it
is breaking out (or more often - too late).




This is part of the price of being in ANY sort of authority.
Given that there are NO advantages to it here, perhaps
it should not be worth the pain that it is putting you through.



I don't think that many people are happy with the way Bizarre is acting
about this. That's why she's trying to put things in a more rational framework,
so we can discuss the underlying issues.

The fact that you admit having trouble being objective in the light
of flames against yourself is telling. We all have these feelings,
or when those close to us are attacked. The question is, what
is the difference in the actions that you take, in these circumstances?
The error in these cases should be towards NOT defending yourself,
and certainly not using any additional abilities that you have. I know
that I've had to walk away from fights that I would not have, if not
for being a mod here.




I agree with you here. I think that it's caused you a lot of pain.
There are no advantages whatsoever. I only hope that you
can manage to find a way to feel at home here again - whatever
that will take. I can't imagine that people will treat you poorly,
if you decide to step down. Rather, it should be seen as a mark
of honor.

I used to, you know, on other forums, be considered a good mod... not because of objectivity, but because I was very human and because I helped using my experiences. But seeing as being objective and rational and in a sense, almost robotic in response, seems to be valued more, I guess this is not the right place for me to be a moderator. I do not work on that level. I do not believe in a member/mod division that is so great. So yes, Best I am not a mod, then no-one can keep attacking me for not being as they expect. But no, this place is not home for me anymore. It is just another in a list of forums I have had to leave, but I had thought that an AS board would be less harsh towards my somewhat obvious flaws and useless emotions.

You changed your language so that it was no longer swearing. Nor did you apologize. That is not the same thing as removing it.
No, being a mod does not make you perfect, but it does mean that you should abide by the rules of the forum. You're setting an example now; people are going to follow you for what is acceptable and what is not.



Do you realize how hard it is to write posts like this without attacking you? My first three posts on this board were not attacks. The first was pointing out what bizarre was talking about, the second was pointing out that you had done it other times (which you have, and how are facts attacks?), and the third was offering my assitance. I would not have used it to kick you off, or whatever you think I'm doing, but rather to prove or disprove bizarre's claims in terms of truthfullness. Actually, I think some of her claims are wrong.
I have nothing - nothing - against the other mods, which should say something. I don't have it out for figures of authority, and I'm glad the rest are here. This isn't soley because you're a mod - it's because of how you're behaving.



When would be an acceptable time? Like I've said, I don't think bizarre is doing this the right way, but that doesn't mean much.



You just said that you aren't objective when it pretains to you. You seem to infer a lot of things pretaining to you - things that don't pretain. You have to remain objective to be fair.



I don't think that's how you view it. However, it does add to power. Regular members cannot lock or delete posts, but you can. Regardless of how you view it, it does add power.
You may not claim to be perfect, but whenever someone says that you are not, you fly off the hinge. Look at how you have responded to me.

No-one is perfect, but they are not getting threads devoted to pointing out their flaws for the world to see.
I dont want to be a mod anymore.
Please remove it alex, so people will just leave me alone.

I really hate to see things come to this. You had no
problem here before you were doomed to become
a mod. You tended to give a lot of assistance to others,
both in emotional support, and in being willing to expose
your own feelings to us all. These things are important
and valuable. You continued to do them, as a mod. Please
try and reconsider about actually leaving. Being a mod is
not easy for you, as you care too much. For a flippant ass
like myself, it's no great burden. The lack of direction that
we've received has made it especially difficult - I've taken
it to mean, "do as little as possible," which seems closest to
Alex's intent.

This place will simply not be the same without you.