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Marknis
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05 Oct 2018, 3:55 pm

I am only going to be remembered as the forum member who posted about his struggles but he was never able to overcome them so I might as well have my account deleted.



kraftiekortie
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05 Oct 2018, 4:31 pm

Not if you overcome your struggles. Sometimes, it takes YEARS......

It is quite possible that you are progressing---but you don't know it yet.

That's happened to me.



Marknis
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06 Oct 2018, 9:25 am

I can't stand seeing certain forum members post about their victories while I can't even get a simple coffee date and I can't sign up for college for this year anymore. I feel like I am chained to multiple millstones.



SaveFerris
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06 Oct 2018, 9:39 am

Marknis wrote:
I can't stand seeing certain forum members post about their victories


I don't understand this mentality , I have a lot of people around me with the same mentality. If someone gets a victory I am happy for them. It sounds like depressive envy imo

Challenge your negative thoughts

Image


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Sweetleaf
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06 Oct 2018, 11:10 am

Or you could actually understand some of us are trying to help you. I mean you have more problems than lack of a girlfriend your living and financial situation with your mother is a BIG problem and a big part of what is likely holding you back. I wish you'd realize that and work on fixing or improving that issue, it would improve your relationship chances. If you're leaving I guess its the last chance I get to mention it, you really should think about that. Do you really want to submit yourself to living with your overbearing mother and having her control your finances for the rest of your life? That is the real problem not that you haven't got a girlfriend yet.


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Marknis
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06 Oct 2018, 12:38 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Or you could actually understand some of us are trying to help you. I mean you have more problems than lack of a girlfriend your living and financial situation with your mother is a BIG problem and a big part of what is likely holding you back. I wish you'd realize that and work on fixing or improving that issue, it would improve your relationship chances. If you're leaving I guess its the last chance I get to mention it, you really should think about that. Do you really want to submit yourself to living with your overbearing mother and having her control your finances for the rest of your life? That is the real problem not that you haven't got a girlfriend yet.


I don't consider you a detractor. The ones I consider detractors are those who make baseless assumptions about me and brag to me about their accomplishments.

I don't want to live with my mother forever. It's embarrassing, emasculating, and it reinforces a lot of the thoughts I struggle with. Her husband is also a country music blasting, Walmart shopping, gun toting, and Trump loving redneck.

A major struggle I have in even trying to do anything to work on myself is that I have no inborn patience. When I try to do anything in that regard, I quickly feel like I can't accomplish the task because I am not getting it done soon after I think about it while everyone else meets their goals as soon as they set them.



hurtloam
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06 Oct 2018, 12:40 pm

Marknis wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Or you could actually understand some of us are trying to help you. I mean you have more problems than lack of a girlfriend your living and financial situation with your mother is a BIG problem and a big part of what is likely holding you back. I wish you'd realize that and work on fixing or improving that issue, it would improve your relationship chances. If you're leaving I guess its the last chance I get to mention it, you really should think about that. Do you really want to submit yourself to living with your overbearing mother and having her control your finances for the rest of your life? That is the real problem not that you haven't got a girlfriend yet.


I don't consider you a detractor. The ones I consider detractors are those who make baseless assumptions about me and brag to me about their accomplishments.

I don't want to live with my mother forever. It's embarrassing, emasculating, and it reinforces a lot of the thoughts I struggle with. Her husband is also a country music blasting, Walmart shopping, gun toting, and Trump loving redneck.

A major struggle I have in even trying to do anything to work on myself is that I have no inborn patience. When I try to do anything in that regard, I quickly feel like I can't accomplish the task because I am not getting it done soon after I think about it while everyone else meets their goals as soon as they set them.


No people don't meet their goals as soon as they set them. It takes years of practice to become a good artist or architect for example.



SabbraCadabra
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06 Oct 2018, 12:58 pm

Your posts won't be deleted, so banning your account won't accomplish anything.

We get so many new members all the time, it's unlikely that most people here even know who you are.


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blackicmenace
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06 Oct 2018, 5:41 pm

Don't give up Marknis. It is okay to ask for advice and support. Not all advice is compatible for everyone. I hope you change your mind, I understand the difficulty you have with the culture you grew up in. I grew up in the south and it is not easy to overcome ideas you have been conditioned to, from childhood. You have made great progress even if you refuse to see it, I see it and I hardly know you. Take care.


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Fnord
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06 Oct 2018, 6:47 pm

If you're going to ask for advice, then TAKE IT!!

But if what you really want is for your account to be locked, then why not just stop logging in? It's much easier, and requires no effort at all on your part.


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Marknis
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06 Oct 2018, 8:03 pm

Fnord wrote:
If you're going to ask for advice, then TAKE IT!!

But if what you really want is for your account to be locked, then why not just stop logging in? It's much easier, and requires no effort at all on your part.


You've talked a lot more s**t about me than given "advice" to me.



Fnord
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06 Oct 2018, 8:05 pm

Marknis wrote:
Fnord wrote:
If you're going to ask for advice, then TAKE IT!! But if what you really want is for your account to be locked, then why not just stop logging in? It's much easier, and requires no effort at all on your part.
You've talked a lot more s**t about me than given "advice" to me.
Ah, crap. I fell for it again. Now you have something more to complain about.


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blackicmenace
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06 Oct 2018, 8:09 pm

Fnord wrote:
If you're going to ask for advice, then TAKE IT!!

But if what you really want is for your account to be locked, then why not just stop logging in? It's much easier, and requires no effort at all on your part.

Why don't you leave him alone since he has asked you multiple times to do so if I recall correctly? The best thing YOU can do for Marknis is leave him alone at this point.


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Fnord
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06 Oct 2018, 8:15 pm

blackicmenace wrote:
Why don't you leave him alone since he has asked you multiple times to do so if I recall correctly? The best thing YOU can do for Marknis is leave him alone at this point.
Since you mentioned it, the best thing that you can do for him is to stop enabling his behavior. Every time someone sticks up for one of his "Poor Me / You Bastard" games, it only encourages him to do it again.

And my suggestion is just that: A suggestion. If he doesn't want advice, then why does he keep complaining?

And if he doesn't want to have an account here, then why does he keep logging in?

:roll: ... head games ...


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blackicmenace
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06 Oct 2018, 8:20 pm

That is your opinion. I don't recall him ever asking me to stop talking to him. If he requested it, I would do as he asked.


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Fnord
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06 Oct 2018, 8:32 pm

Proves my point. He never asks his enablers to stop posting to him.


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