They're everywhere. In every shadow, behind every door, inside of every boardroom and dive bar, there are Nazi cabals plotting and planning to take over this country and pollute our precious bodily fluids. The Nazis have no regard for human life, not even their own. And for this reason, I want to impress upon you the need for extreme watchfulness. The enemy may come individually, or he may come in strength. He may even come in the uniform of our own troops. Do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk, ice cream? Ice cream, dammit! Children's ice cream! You know when fluoridation began? 1946. 1946, people. How does that coincide with your post-war Nazi conspiracy theories? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? Just connect the dots! A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual, and certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Nazi works. We are on the verge of a global transformation. All we need is the right major crisis, and coronavirus is providing just that. Do you really believe that behind the ostensible government sits enthroned an invisible government owing no allegiance and acknowledging no responsibility to the people? Forget that! The man on that throne has orange skin and a dead-squirrel toupe! We the People are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies primarily on covert means for expanding its sphere of influence -- on infiltration instead of invasion, on subversion instead of elections, on intimidation instead of free choice, on looters and arsonists by night instead of armies by day. No matter how paranoid or conspiracy-minded you are, what the government is actually doing is worse than you imagine. All problems, depressions, wars, disasters, assassinations, all of them were planned, caused, instigated, and implemented by the Great Orange One and his MAGA-hat minions in their attempt to establish themselves as the ruling class, which they have now done, thanks to corrupt politicians who have been bought and paid for. This is all you need to know about the history of the world for the last four years. (The foregoing is all satire and sarcasm, by the way.)