failing in grad school

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I was a straight A student as an undergrad and got accepted into a prestigious graduate program. This is my first year, and I am doing very poorly. I just failed two of my midterms. I feel that I am simply not smart enough to do well here, no matter how hard I try. The problem is that I don't know what to do now. I don't think that I will get accepted anywhere else or that I would be able to get a job anywhere with such bad grades. It seems like my life is ruined. What do I do?

Have you tried to get into a less demanding grad school? Or are you just assuming they wouldn't want you? Cuz you seem like a very desirable candidate with the straight A's, and if this school is so prestigious a lot of good candidates probably have had the same problem you have. I'd try applying elsewhere if I were you, and not assume I'd be rejected. Have courage - nothing ventured, nothing gained.! We're behind you

Similar story with me, too, but not quite as bad. My grades in the first semester were a mix of A, B and W (withdraw). Check to see which of your courses are required by your program, and see if you can take some easier ones, too. What research project grabs your interest? Graduate coursework seems designed to move at an insane pace, and graduate school is mostly for a research degree, so just make sure your GPA remains high enough to permit doing a dissertation. I found that the dissertation was the most important part, and by now I don't even care about the courses aside from having a high enough GPA.

I just wasn't smart enough for quantum mechanics, so I ended up doing a dissertation on engines!

Just get over these meltdowns... and focus on the next part. Completion of the challenge of postgrad degrees is commendable, as few people have completed this, let alone Aspies...

that is actually the only thing that comes to my mind, but there are two problems that I have no idea how to get my head around: my awful grades in this graduate school (schools require you to send transcripts from ALL institutions ever attended) and the letters of recommendation. Obviously, I can't ask for the letters from the professors at my current institution, and if I contact the professors who wrote me letters from my undergrad college, they would be wondering why I want to apply somewhere else if I am already in a very good program. I can't tell them, "sorry, it is because I am too stupid to handle a top program" (they wouldn't write me very good letters in that case).



Unfortunately, my program is very inflexible, at least in the first year. There is a strict requirement to take certain courses (ONLY those courses), do well in them (get at least an A-) and then pass a qualifying exam which covers the material in those courses. We don't even get to start doing research until the second year I agree with you that dissertation is the most important part, but I can't even get to that stage if I fail two of my courses.

lonelyLady, keep in mind that you already have a college degree, which means you already have opportunities open to you even if graduate school doesn't work out.

If you don't mind me asking, what is your field of study, and what did you do your undergraduate degree in?

If you do not have an advisor yet, you need to find one you can trust. This needs to be someone you want to work with, and who can be trusted with frank discussions of your troubles in the program. Graduate school is, in most cases, designed very differently than undergraduate programs. The formula for success is very different, and not always transparent. Your department is invested in your success. They are rated and receive funding based upon the number of degrees they produce every year, so they want you to succeed. Use this to your advantage by identifying what resources are available to you. A bad experience in an early semester can be painful, but it is not impossible to recover at this point. It is important now that you demonstrate the willingness and capability to seek help and put that assistance to effective use. Remember that all graduate students go through bad times, including those who eventually go on to succeed. Good luck.

Consider being evaluated for a learning disability. You don’t actually have below average scores to be diagnosed with NLD. Just having quite high scores say 95th percentile and above on some subsets and mediocre scores say even as high as 60 – 70th percentile on others cab be diagnostic. If you read more about NLD you might notice that it seems largely the same as asperger’s. NLD differs in the sense that you do not have to have a social deficit to have NLD, but it is a grey area because not being able to adequately take in non-verbal information predisposes one to poor social skills. Similarly asperger’s differences from NLD in that there does not need to be a learning deficit for an asperger’s diagnosis, another grey area because impaired ability to learn social skills is a learning deficit.

Do you think grad school means everything in your life?

I reckon most people struggle in grad school, in spite of good intellect. Some emerge with the desired qualification if they persist (endurance is a large part of it); especially if they can figure out what's hindering their progress and work around it. Could you re-sit the exams you didn't pass? You were qualified enough to be accepted, so I think that you have a good chance of getting through if you find a way to get around the difficulties. Possibilities include requesting accomodations, advice, and extra tuition. If there is anything else, such as anxiety, learning disabilities, and difficulty getting organised, they should be addressed first.