I might not make it through high school. Any other options?

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11 Jun 2006, 10:06 pm

This topic isn't quite like my other one where I mainly talked about how I felt the system was flawed. Now I want to focus more on dealing with this system, mainly getting a diploma or GED, and if I don't, focus on living without those.

I'm at the breaking point of staying in school or dropping out. I'll be going into the 12th grade and only for half a year, to finish by 2007. Sounds easy enough right? Only five months and that's it. No, not in my case.

At the moment I gonna worry about home schooling with Math which isn't even my fault. It could take up well over half my summer. It's three days a week for about a hour or less. Again, sounds easy enough right? It isn't for me because I feel like it's wasting my summer and it leads up to school if I ever go back.

I gotten into many arguments with my mother over this. “School comes first” keeps coming up again and again. I insist that my emotional well being comes first and that without that, I won't be making any progress with school. I keep saying with all the stress that I have when it comes to school I won't be finishing it. It pretty much almost stops my ability to work. Last November, I was in a public high school (which I finally got into during 10th grade through my whole school life) and during that time the stress really built up. I simply got tired of the social issues with the students. I maybe came three or four days and even then, have cases of going home earlier. I send up speaking to a bunch of people in the school, but they pretty much told me just to hang in there. I nearly got into fights with two of my “friends”. When it nearly happened with my second one, I got picked up from school earlier that day and never really came back since. This was before I got into the whole anti-school stuff and being forced to learn one way.

Between then and December, anytime I tried to do any work at home I would get stressed out too much and couldn't go on anymore. I barely got anything done during that time. This is when I started getting into the anti-school stuff. At first I was told homeschooling wasn't an option that would happen anytime soon, that is, during the school year. After a lot of time seeing people, it turned out I could do homeschooling. All seemed fine and dandy. However, even during homeschooling, I still had to do certain things in certain ways by a certain time.

Stress came on and off during the months I did homeschooling, but not anything like it was back in November and December. Now, the huge level of stress is back, even during this homeschooling, away from students, teachers coming to me, for only about a hour. Somehow this proves too stressful as well. For me it's likely because of the whole “waste of time” feelings and getting in the way of working out other issues and learning other stuff.

I keep getting told by my mother that giving up school means I won't go on to really do anything for the rest of my life. I don't wanna turn out to be a bum, but high school can't be the end to all ends if I don't finish. Surely there are other ways to make it in life right? Surely there are other ways to get a diploma and if not, some way to actually live a non-poor life. I'm pretty much being told that I either finish high school or I will do nothing with my life. Somehow, I doubt those two mix together, in that I won't do anything else even if I wanted to because of wanting to avoid a system that doesn't work for me without me going through a load of stress. I know with the current school stress, there is no way when the time for me to go back to public school for five more months is gonna work out. I used to make much higher grades then most of the other students in class, but times are not the same anymore.

I keep being up how it's pointless for me to do the homeschooling to finish up math if I don't even go back to finish high school after the summer. It doesn't seem likely that I'm gonna make the stress go away, with dealing with the very narrow-minded students (plus teachers spending a lot of time addressing their behavior), to having to do a bunch of work that seems to serve no purpose, along with taking up time to work out other issues. “School comes first” is something I'm really starting to get tired of. Learning about a bunch of stuff that I may never use is more important then my emotional well being? I'm simply not gonna be able to do that stuff if I'm not feeling up to it and bring up the whole “something must be wrong with me” issue doesn't help matters either.

Sure there could be issues in the future with having jobs where I have many social issues, but I don't see how that will be helped much whether I have a diploma or not (besides what kind of jobs I can get). I feel like “they” only care more about me getting the job then my emotional ability to do it. Either way, I'm whether not really get into the job situational right now, but the matter at hand, school.

The option of me losing the stress and finishing five months of high school really doesn't seem like an option. No, drugs to cause happiness won't work either (they only made it worst). Not to mention the whole “there's a problem with him, drug him up, that will teach him good!” issue. Surely I'm not the only one, NT, AS, or otherwise, that had these problems. Are there any good options for those who simply can't handle high school anymore? Alternate schools also isn't really an option for me either (same annoying students and work [plus “something is wrong with you for not adapting”] I had to deal with).

Is getting a diploma or GED possible without going through similar work options? Is surviving without a high school diploma possible for non-famous people like me? Isn't working in McDonald's for life (another social experience that would likely backfire on me at some point) a myth? Surely there is gonna be an option for people like me who didn't really handle the current school system, along with not having very good social experiences. Do I need to give more information about the state I live in?


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Silver_Shadow
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12 Jun 2006, 4:31 am

I had very similar problems to you, massive amounts of stress at high school.
I will tell you what i did about it (i am not saying you should do what i did by the way, this is just to help you reach a decision).
Basicaly, i could not handle high school anymore, although everyone around me told me i have to go no matter what. I tried to think of every alternative, changing schools, homeschooling, getting permanently excluded.
Changing schools: if i had done this then nothing would have changed, i would still be in a similar environment, similar childish mentality of the students around me and a heap of stress.
Homeschooling, it sounds good but it just would not work out with my mom and dad teaching me, for some reason i have it in my head that home is not for work.
It is also not a good idea due to the fact that you will not be socialising, too much socialising is bad for you but not enough can, in some ways be worse.
Permanent Exclusion: After exploring every other logical route this was the only logical one left, i got permanently excluded and the entire school system left me alone due to the fact that they thought that i was hopeless.

A year and a half passed with me doing nothing, after a while of doing nothing and watching day time TV i started drinking, more and more.

As i said before, not enough socialising can be worse than too much due to the fact that if you are completely isolated for a long time, when you finaly wish to integrate yourself into society again then you will find it is 10 times harder than it was when you were at high school.

To cut this story a bit shorter, i finaly got a diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome, Chronic Depression and Social Phobia among other things.
Then i found an agency called Aspergers East Anglia that basicaly helped me get into college.
I went there with little optimism, thinking about how bad it was going to be, i was wrong.
The people there dont talk to me unless i talk to them, they are essentialy much more mature than high school students.
So i continued on at College and got a full distinction in IT, next year i am going to do my GCSE's there.

So basicaly, it sounds to me as, even though you have talked to your mum about how bad it is for you at high school, she probably does not have any idea about HOW bad it really is.
If you really can't stand it at school then maybe you should look to an alternative like college, you could do your GCSE's there (or american equivalent) and you could enroll on a course that you really like.

As for medication, most people react diferently to diferent medications, some medications can make things worse while others are excelent.
You may simply have been perscribed an Anti-Depressant which was not good for you.
It would be best if you could talk to your mum about getting a diferent medication, and if that one does not work then try a diferent one.
I was quite fortunate in the fact that the first one i tried was the right one for me and it helps a lot.

Anyway, i hope this helps you reach a decision about what to do.



FlyGirl
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12 Jun 2006, 5:04 am

Apologies in advance for not reading everything carefully... I'm supposed to be asleep right now :D

I live in California and I was able to take the CHSPE (California High School Proficiency Examination... or something like that) when I was 17 and having a horrible time with the high school environment. When I passed the exam and got my certificate, it said it was a legal equivalent of a high school diploma (although I think it's only valid in California). Maybe there is something similar for whatever state you live in, or you could just go for a GED if you qualify.

Anyway, I was then able to use the certificate to go to community college. It was only $11 per unit (so $33 for most semester-long classes, plus books and supplies). Overall I liked college a lot better than high school. I found that I had a heck of a lot more freedom and that there were tons of classes to choose from. There's nothing that says you have to go full-time or get a degree in 2 or 4 years. But perhaps most importantly, I found that the college atmosphere was much more pleasant. College students are usually there because they want to be, not because they have to be. That can really make a difference.

You can also try volunteering. Yeah doing something for money is usually better, but it's one way to sort of get yourself some qualifications. For example, if someone wants to get paid for working with animals in the future, they should try volunteering at their local zoo to 'get their foot in the door'. Better than nothing, and ya have to start somewhere.



ljbouchard
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12 Jun 2006, 10:08 am

First off, if you are 18 or over, then unless your mother has some sort of guardianship over you, she has no say in the matter (as much as she would like to force you).

If you are only 1/2 of a year from getting the HS diploma, I would see if I could try to take the GED this summer. If you pass the test, then you are done with HS and then can go onto a community college or whatever you like. If you do not pass the test, then you can still look at going back to school. I would suggest a Community college however if you get your GED so that you have something beyond that for prospective employers. Most places only concern themselves with the highest diploma you have earned (as such, an Associates Degree would pretty much make a GED worthless anyways).

The question I have though is: Is the stress related to the schedule of the tasks at school or the social tasks at school. If the later, then the GED plan would work. If the former, then you need to find a way to deal with the stress because all employers have tasks that are time driven. Volunteer work may help in that regard.

Good Luck.


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mylek
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13 Jun 2006, 11:43 pm

Saying that you will do nothing with your life is an exaggeration. However, getting your HS diploma or GED does put you in a better position to get jobs and obtain higher levels of education which will have a large impact on your quality of life in the long run.

I think that for you the real challenge is not whether you complete HS or not, but if you can identify and and cope with the stress in your life. Wherever you go you may find that the same stress from school popping up in your daily life. Sure, it is possible to run from it now and life will continue on. But then what will happen when you encoutnter this stress again? If you keep running from it you may be running forever on a downward spiral.

In time you will be the one calling all the shots. You will also be responsible for the repercussions of your actions. Now is the time to start looking within yourself and asking some tough questions. I think that if you can master your stress a HS diploma will be easy for you.



Bland
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14 Jun 2006, 7:03 pm

Have you considered homeschooling at your own pace? Who says you have to complete High School in a certain number of years? Why can't you homeschool for the subjects that your parents can teach (or more correctly, oversee you learn), and go to a community college or adult ed. or find a tutor for the required courses that your folks can't tackle with you.
If you are a do-it-yourself person, there are many correspondance courses and DVD programs available. Then you could work on social skills in the "real world" setting of work! You could do school at your own pace and enter the work force, hopefully doing something that you enjoy.
If these options aren't acceptable, and you are still totally discouraged, discuss taking a break and just experiencing life for a the next few months or year with your parents. If you are over the age of compulsory attendance, then this should also be an option. Later, when you are ready, you can go back to the education issue.
Could you get your parents to think outside of the box? Face it, with a kid like you they probably already have learned to do that to some degree! :lol:

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25 Jun 2006, 11:47 am

I pretty much be at this site on and off, mostly off. Over the time I started this topic and now, I finally figured out a way to get through school.

I'm 18 and still live with my mother, but she still wouldn't let me drop out of school, which if I'm correct, you have that legal option at 17. All I pretty much did was get into arguments with my mother almost every night and she tells me she's tired of hearing it and had the whole “I know what's best for you” speech going on.. She also brought up how pretty much all my cousins finished high school and how certain family members who didn't had troubles, like getting thrown in jail (for actual crimes, not a lack of a diploma, which might have been avoided with one). I argued how I wasn't like them. She also called my father and he agreed I should stay in school. Now I know there's a good amount of people who would disagree with my actions (even if those people are not here). Yes, my mother likely got stressed over me talking about the same issue over and over, but I had to get my point across somehow. Sure she's my mother, but I wanted to let her know she isn't gonna have that much control over my life anymore. If I didn't rebelled like I did, then things likely would not have gotten better so soon.

The problem finally got solved when the math teacher came and I brought up the option of getting a GED. He talked about how it was equal to a diploma and stuff. My mother was there the whole time during the discussion and she finally got off my back about me doing nothing with my life and realize that a GED could work out. While I don't recall that much, my English teacher from awhile back was telling me how a GED wasn't really that good or something.

I officially withdrawn from school and will have to take the GED near the end of July. The math teacher gone into details about it, including how long it is and the parts to it. I did pretty well on the "warm up" test, I just hope I can do the same on the actual test. He also mention something about me only having to redo parts that I failed rather then the whole test if it should come to that.

As for my future, regarding collage and the work place, I'll worry about that later, since that's already enough stuff going on with my right now that I can finally focus on without having to worry about school, mainly the home schooling during the summer part. Well, the GED still needs to be taken care of, but it's not a big worry for me like school was.

I have been isolated for quite awhile since home schooling started near the start of the year. Even if I wanted to, there isn't much I can do to take care of that. I might get a job during the summer, which will be a first for me during my whole life. As for the stress related to that and dealing with it, I'll worry about it when the time comes (hopefully when and not if).

I was on medication, an anti-depression I believe, which acted more like pro-depression. The doctor seemed so sure it would work and pretty much put his faith in it. I felt like even at the very beginning it wouldn't work (“a drug can't solve my problems” and sure enough it didn't). When one type didn't work, I was given another type, which also didn't work. I pretty much stopped taking medication altogether.

As for stress related to work and social, a bit of both, but closer to social. I hope to get a job that doesn't require me to work with a lot of people often. I know McDonald's is pretty much out of the question for me since my memory may not always work so well and if I mess up a order, it's over (at least between the consumers). Again, I'll mainly worry about that and find a way to solve it once the time comes, as I rather not add any more problems to my already overloaded truck.

My father was rather upset over me not going for my diploma, believing I won't get anywhere. He didn't live with me for almost five years now and he barely had much effect on my life at all since 2003. He wasn't really part of my life that much over the past few years and now, as soon as I make this big choice, he gets very angry. He doesn't quite fall under “father knows best”. If I have to “fight” with him too, I'll do it. He'll get a whole lot angry for what I plan on going through later, but that's another subject for another day.

So in a nutshell, I had to “fight” to get control over my life and to set me on the route for the GED. Now it's just a month away before I have to take it and then I'll worry more about college, the work place, and the “real world” in general.


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Black_Sheep
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03 Jul 2006, 7:02 pm

Actally you can be successful and even make millions without school education. All you need to learn is financial intelligence, you can study by reading books and such. Trust me, it's easier and much more productive than what the school teaches. The more you learn, the more you actally earn. By being an investor or a business owner, you'll never have to work hard for money ever. All you have to do is think and take action like in a game.