High school story
In my senior year of high school I took a general
psychology class and one day we were talking about
Pervasive Developmental Disorders. The teacher asked us
to share what we knew about echolalia and I, in a brave but slightly misguided attempt to
educate my peers about myself, ended up sharing a story about how when I was younger
I used to whisper certain phrases and words back to myself to make sure that I said them correctly.
Just about everyone in the class laughed, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't with me.
Later on in the year in the same class, I raised my hand to answer a question. After struggling
with organizing my thought for a few minutes and saying "you know" numerous times in moments
of dead air, a student in the row next to me said "you know" in a distinctively audible tone. Once again, the
class laughed. This time I laughed a little along with them (sometimes it pays to laugh at yourself, hey), but later
on it got to me.
It made me wonder what people thought about me thinking, or even supposedly giving off slight
intimations that I might be thinking of myself as having some characteristics (past and present)
comparable to autistic qualities. Do people see me as a weird and confusing attention seeker of sorts?
Hopefully nothing that extreme.
I am in High School right now, and I can see where you are coming from. Usually I get that from peers after saying something socially unacceptable, which I do often, and not really on purpose. Usually I just don't care, Haha, I am who I am. I have few friends, but the idea of friendship doesn't appeal to me. I am known as the "Cool, weird, quiet Art Chick".
But most often I get into trouble swearing very loudly and accidentally. The other day a substitute teacher was taking attendance, and She called my name, just as I was spilling paint on my shirt and I called out "s**t! I'm here!" and they laughed, but for me it was very awkward. I just didn't let it bother me.
Thanks!
I have been beginning to see that embarrassing moments don't matter as much and me saying and doing quirky things is
just myself coming out. I am in college now, and I have been dealing with social situations (that are generally low stakes situations) more than regularly.
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