Ratting out a Bully...

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I never thought this day would ever come back, let this be a lesson to anybody, you can't run away from your past. Before my story begins, heres some info, I'm a junior in high school now (Grade 11) and have had a rough social life. Long post ahead...

So, this story started all the way back in 4th grade. I met this kid (lets just say his name is Chaz) and we became good friends. We hung out at each other's houses, went places, etc. Everything you would do with a friend. We were both in the same classes until 6th grade, when we entered middle school and were assigned on different "teams".

So, I didn't see him as often at that time and I didn't mind. So one day, during 6th grade, I simply said "Hey Chaz" to him in the hallway. I expected a "Hey Carl" back, instead he goes, "Who the f*** are you?" I passed on and I myself went "WTF?"

So, after a weekend, I decided to say "Hey" to him in the halls. Again, he went "Who the f*** are you?" Clearly, I was pissed and so I smacked him in the head. Of course, I got in trouble. These fights would continue until around 8th grade or so. Clearly, I was the one who was doing something wrong. These fights would end up getting me a new rep in middle school... "Crazy Carl"...

So, I realised and gave up at the end of 7th grade. By this time, he started hanging around the wrong crowd. Chaz got into drugs and drinking, last I heard he was doing Coke now and was caught with Vodka on campus last year. In 10th grade, he was on one of my classes, but we were both neutral and avoided each other.

But then this year, I had his little brother (lets just say his name is Zach). Zach was also neutral with me and seemed a bit friendly toward me. I decided not to really trust him, knowing that he was sleeping a few feet away from the biggest druggie and enemy I know. So, the other day, I was a bit skeptical about Zach, he seemed eccentric. It looked like he really wanted to talk about something, but he was holding it back.

So, during class, he was talking about me behind my back and telling the story of "Crazy Carl". I overheard and just before it got "juicy" I went "Zach is a liar!" extremely loud. So, since then, I have been paranoid as hell and depressed.

Then this one other question has been bothering me for quite some time. When do I stand up for myself? So, if you haven't heard about somebody spreading crap, now theres more than one bully. Alongside "Zach" there's now "Jack" as well. "Jack" is your typical dumbass that always raves on about how his "old skool Trans-Am" is the greatest car ever and what parts he is going to add to it. Chances are, he would marry that Trans-Am more than the hottest chick on Earth.

Now, just today, my friends and I were talking. Of course we hate "Jack", but one of my friends seriously wants to dump paint-thinner all over his Trans-Am. As much as I would like to see "Jack" bawling in tears, I didn't want to get involved in something criminal. So then its back to the age old question of standing up for myself.

I know for my entire life that I have been a pushover wallflower type, the type of person that would make a bully's day. I have stood up before, but at wrong times and became my middle school rep of "Crazy Carl". I seriously want to fight, but I don't want to face criminal charges (especially in today's Post-Columbine/911 world). So, how should I stand up for myself? I really want it to stop, but I don't want to be a tattletale narc and rely on counselors again (which I also did back in middle school).

One day I faked sick and on purpose just to stay away from these nuts...
And during the day he found out my telephone number by going through the teachers' book and actually CALLING MY HOUSE. Thank god my sore throat made my voice seem a bit raspy. So, he was going to tell my parents crap like I have gotten in trouble. I then insulted him and hung up. Now, I'm scared sh*tless...

Today, Chaz and Zach live an extremely dysfunctional home life. They both do drugs (I think they are now up to cocaine or heroine now, from what I last heard). Their mom believes in a "religion" thats stupider than Scientology (that our politicians and celebrities and anybody with power in general are lizards from space). Their dad, lets just say he doesn't give a rats ass about anything. Jack, in the meantime, is still the general as*hole definition and brags more and more about his Trans-Am.

Then I read the article on bullying and now I think its gotten to the point of calling to the cops on Zach and Chaz (Jack, he hasn't done anything severe). And it raises a few concerns...

1. Should I call from a pay phone far away from my house and try to totally anonymize myself?
2. What should I say? Certainly alot of the items in this post. Also, is there any harassment laws I could use? Of course, this is kind of going against my belief of the first ammendment.
3. Would anything really happen? I swear, Zach and Chaz have like a certain charm that lets them get away with EVERYTHING in the least punishment.
3.

I would say, teach yourself white-noise blocking in regard to the rumours/name-calling.
Get a radio, put it halfway between two stations and turn it up to full volume. Now try to imagine that every time someone says something nasty.
In regard to defending yourself, use what I have described as above for verbal bullying. Physical bullying, don't hit them first but if they intiate violence return the favour.
Keep this in mind:
"Ego facio/fungor/fungi/functus/facesso nullus ingruo,
Ego facio/fungor/fungi/functus/facesso munio"
or
" I do no attack, I do defend."

If every person I used to spend time with and don't remember years later, hit me when I didn't recognise them, I'd have a lot more bruises than I usually do.

You don't have to hit someone who is rude. Try ignoring them, it annoys them more. Be *nice* to them if the opportunity presents, this will confuse them, they won't be able to figure out why you're being nice. Note this is not the same as letting someone use you.

Leave the transam alone. It didn't do anything to deserve your attention.

I don't know if there are any harrasment laws (it doesn't sound like they've done anywhere near enough), but I wouldn't call for that. If you are 100% sure they are using drugs (it sounds like you are), call for that. Also, make sure their home life is seen. That would definitly get them out of your hair, and since you're in 11th grade, you would probably never have to see them again. If you do this, I would anonymize myself, just in case they had any friends who were not happy about this, and decided your life should be miserable for that.

Don't take this the wrong way, but how it's written? It doesn't sound like any of these people are all that bad.

Oh granted it sounds like they have serious issues, but that's something else entirely. Just because people are being annoying doesn't mean you should go out of your way to hurt them.

If they are on the other hand going out of their way to hurt you it's another story.

Again, that's just how I read this.


Another angle to go is to apologize to some of them even if you feel you are "right". (And I'm not going to say that you aren't. I don't know the situation) You've probably reacted in some questionable ways, as have they. But by making an effort to patch things up you would proove that you're the better person. Especially if they just brush it off like it doesn't mean anything.

Further more, if they reject your attempts? You can at least say that you tried whenever you give back as good as you get.


Of course you can also just try and let it all go. It's probably the best way to go because probably none of these people are worth getting upset about. Small minded, simple idiots.

If you friends want to vandalise the car, make sure they aren't planning to use you as a scapegoat. If you can be certain of that, go for it! Sounds like fun!

As far as I'm concerned, NTs pretty have it coming just because they breathe.