Is college better than High school for social skills?

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Wondering inpact on students with AS that went from high school to University or community college on a social level?

my son sometimes is a target in high school, but wondering if there is light at the end of this tunnel in college for him. Will he find more compassion from students in college?

As a parent, I want to make sure I don't give him false hope, but adults have always been more accepting of him.

Depends on the college. If he lives in a dorm that could be tough. If he lives at home and commutes then nobody will care about what he does. I have always wondered why high school is not setup like college. Seems that would be the better way to go.

I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you, but there is no light at the end of the tunnel where social discrimination and /or bullying is concerned. Anywhere there are people, they will either ostracize or pick on any individual they feel is different, even if they can't identify just what that difference is. I'm over 50 and still experiencing hostility and discrimination because of my Autistic traits. The only way to avoid it is to literally become a hermit and refuse to interact with the filthy humans.

No, seriously, it never ends. Get used to it.

Depends really on the mentality of the school and the severity of condition (social stigma is worse the more severe condition). I had more trouble with people in high school that college . . . but i didnt really do anything either (people dont pick on you for that, but they do tend to think you're weird for not participating in social crap). Besides, a lot of people tend to do a 180 in their personality when they get to college since more is on the line than in High School.

I made more real friends in my first week at my college than I did in all 4 years of high school. The best thing about the college social scene is that no one knows who you were in high school, and no one cares. If he can find even one person who he can get along with, no one would mess with him.

May I ask where he is planning on going to college and his possible major?

community college initially because of the adapting to college life and then to a 4 yr university. no majors yet.

thank you for the input.

College is better in some ways. You have much more freedom, which includes the ability to go places (with people) at will, or run away from certain situations. You will still have to face socializing eventually.

the teenage kids are sometimes just cruel and tease others that are alittle different. My son has alot of success socially with adults. that is why i was curious about other people's experiences in college.

No one could pay me enough to go back to college and I don't have AS. I couldn't even imagine an AS person and what they have to deal with with other adolescents in high school.

If it is a really good community college with very high academic standards then he will most likely do well academically and socially. However some community colleges are little more than bad high schools. It will really depend upon what school he goes to.

I think it depends a lot on the college you choose. I wasn't bullied in high school but it wasn't awesome either. The only problems I had (socially) were I got called rude, condescending, conceited, etc and I was seen as weird because I didn't sleep with anyone and didn't do drugs or alcohol (that may be where the condescending comments came from). IMO, it's easier to go right to a 4 year school then from community college to a university because if you go to community college you have two transitions instead of one. I'm in community college now and I can't wait to go to my four year school this fall. Yeah the classes are fairly small, but disability support is terrible, teachers aren't great, classes are really limited, and the administration is just completely inflexible. The reason I went to CC this year is because I have some medical issues and wasn't well enough to go to 4 year last fall. I found a small private school that has this great community feel and I think I'm going to send in my deposit today :]

I'm sure if your son went to a large university he might get picked on, and anywhere there will probably be people he doesn't necessarily like or that don't like him. But I think he should be able to find a place he feels at home without having to avoid campus housing, student organizations, etc....he should be able to get the college experience. I'll put some links for sites where you can look at reviews by students for their colleges, maybe they can be helpful. And I can PM you or your son about the college I'm hoping to go to in case you might be interested in it.
http://www.unigo.com/
http://studentsreview.com/
http://myplan.com/
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/

I can't remember being bullied in college, but it was the loneliest years of my life. In high school, I had "forced" activities like band, etc., and I did have friends to hang out with.

I went to community college first, and although this is a broad generalization, he might have some more difficulty fitting in there because the average intelligence is most likely lower than a private four-year college. I typically had the highest grade in every single class that I took, and the "goody two shoes" was even worse than in high school. I then transferred to a 4-year and felt very out of place because everybody already knew everybody who were at my grade level. Although the plus was that I never had to share a tiny room with anybody; I always had my own bedroom.

I probably could have done more to try to make friends. Sure, I talked with people, but I didn't have any close friends that I would socialize with. Some majors are better than others, and I did not join any clubs or sororities.

Going to university has been a pretty bad experience for me. I spent five months there completely alone, and since Christmas began having severe panic attacks (I used to get them before then, as well - but from that point forward they were happening every day, and lasting hours). I've had to suspend my course until next January, to try to sort them out.

In school, and 6th form, although I had terrible social skills, people were sort of forced to become my friends. Since you spend most of the day at school, and have to sit next to people, they tend to become familiar with you, and friendships develop that way. In university it was entirely down to me to make my own friends, and I failed to do so.

That's true, but there's another thing to think about. In high school, usually people already know each other and tend to sit near the people they know/do group projects with them, etc. Depending on where you go to college, typically it isn't an "everybody knows everybody" situation. I did have teachers stick me in groups with people in high school and stuff like that but I really hated feeling like they were forced to do stuff with me. In college since we're all at a new place, people approach me for help or just cause they generally don't know anyone. In high school if someone already had friends they weren't interested in making more. I've found in college, since it's a new experience everyone is really excited to get to know you. You're right though, it is up to you to take advantage of the situation and build actual friendships.

That never happened to me. Although I was told that everyone was in the same situation as me, so everyone would be wanting to make friends, it didn't seem like that to me. I felt like I was surrounded by people who'd been there for years. It made me feel quite out-of-place there.

That depends on the college. That also depends on what you want with a "better" environment. I go to an urban school where there's a shell campus life, and no one really takes the time to get to know anyone. That said, no one has ever targeted me here in college. If I act weird in public (talking to myself, etc.), people ignore me rather than point me out. I prefer it that way.

Larger schools, particularly large state schools and community colleges, can have a high school atmosphere. Even here, there are plenty of niches for your child. One has to just be persistent--and patient.

As a final observation, I have found that schools in the Northeast have an acidic social climate. I have friends on the West Coast, and my brother goes to an elite school in Northern California. Despite his institution's acclaim, the students are not snooty about it. They are actually very friendly and accepting people. But that's just my own observation.

I did not attend highschool, and it appeared as a very alien environment to me.


Highschoolers were loud and cliqish. They hung out in very big groups that had a bunch of drama and in these groups, most of them seemed to have to dress in a similar way.

I could always tell the freshmen at my college because they still looked like highschoolers. They'd wear odd, big hats or novelty glasses. Bowties with t-shirts. I guess this was their "trademark"? They'd hug when greeting and continue to hand out in big groups and be loud for the first quarter or so. It took them some time to figure out how stupid they looked (yeah well, took me some time too, maybe I still look stupid? But...)

So I think I would not have been comfortable or able to make friends in highschool.

College was a much more mature, welcoming environment. I could converse with people interested in things I was interested in and there were no cliques, at least not at my specific college.

I still did not get the benefit of a real college life, as I can't help but to be somewhat removed from all of that. I really only knew a few of my classmates and we did not socialize outside of school. I never seemed very aware of goings ons within the department for some reason. I wasn't sure where everyone studied and always felt like I was missing something in the way of really being part of the community.

I was never invited to any parties (which I probably would have been uncomfortable at anyway).

So do I think college life was more tolerable than highschool life. I think, had I gone to highschool, then yes, it would have been.

But did I finally have a chance to have a social life? No. Most of the time I was actually very isolated. But I have always been isolated. For all of my study and analysis of socialization there is just an aspect of it I can't grasp and don't understand, which does not exclude me from conversations or having acquaintances but excludes me from having a real community of friends.