What was your worst year in school?

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7th grade; I was suicidal, lonely, much of which people now days would call "emo".

I don't really recall which was my worst year in school, because they kind of all were equally bad. Except for the very early grades like, 1st-3rd then things turned 3rd grade. My teachers kept me after school, seeing I was so young I had no real perception of time. So I thought they'd never let me go home. From what I remember, it was about not finishing a test that overwhelmed me. So I was crying, and they were laughing I think..or they were playing mind games with me. Now it's like, what kind of sadistic freaks would continue to abuse a red-faced crying child? I had thought later at times, maybe they would've learned something if I hid under the table and hit them in the shin hard with a chair. Now I know that probaly would've landed me with a "behaviour disorder" which would've been much worse.

Since then it really all is a blur, of just coming home from school crying everyday. Going to school crying, I don't know why my parents didn't step in or see that as a sign something was wrong. It isn't that they meant harm, but it most likely was the faculty lying to my mom telling her that I was the problem. So I was DXed with depression after high school. Which is funny, because I was a total full-on Goth in high school, I mean isn't that a complete sign that someone's depressed?

I had a nervous breakdown in senior year from the stress, I just kept saying over and over that I couldn't be made to go to school against my will that it was illegal. That if I went to school I wouldn't go to any of the classes. I actually wasn't saying this, I was yelling it. So my dad called the school and let them have it. Then I was tutored by a dumb blonde, who decided her wedding was more important than her job, which was good for me because I'd be able to graduate without doing anymore work, since the responsiblity would fall on her.

There was alot of bullying, there was one guy named Mike, who I had a crush on cuz I thought he looked kind of like Axl Rose. Turned out he had some sort of mental issue, and was completely psycho. Sorry for using such a broad and deragatory term, but I never really figured out what he had, and frankly dislike him therfore don't want to give him the dignity of not being deragatory towards him. He and the other students group bullied me. My mom told the principle and I was in the office, and the kids were outside the window taunting me, and I said to the principle "Do something!" she acted like it wasn't her problem.

So all in all I have a huge grudge about public schooling. I think it's utterly useless now, since it's just about teaching sociality and nothing about education. If they cared about education, they wouldn't see to it that their students were so tormented that they'd forget what they learned, as their lessons would be connected with the truma in their minds.

For me, the worst was probably my first year of middle school, fifth grade. The complete change in routine from elementary school caused me to be very stressed out, and I had meltdowns during class on a semi-regular basis. (Hence beginning middle school by earning a reputation as "that girl who cries all the time.") Of course, my first few years of high school were also pretty rough. Entering a new school was again traumatizing, and this was maybe even worse because it coincided with my family's move across the country. What social skills I had managed to learn in my last year of middle school completely disappeared. I probably became more shy and reclusive than I'd ever been, and I didn't make a friend until my senior year. Schoolwork disinterested me and my classmates felt like an alien species. Going on antidepressant medications during my sophomore year helped some, but not a heck of a lot. Tenth grade was also when I became very angry and yelled at a teacher who gave me an unfair grade on an assignment that was: a) stupid and overly simplistic, b) not explained properly at all, and c) she had misled me into believing that I was doing the assignment correctly before I turned it in, only to say that I hadn't answered the question when she graded my work, which included two parts (out of six) which she had already looked at. While I am embarrassed by how badly I reacted to this, the situation just makes me mad. I ended up having to be removed from her class because, according to my vice principal, she just couldn't be expected to be comfortable in my presence after that incident.

4th grade onwards

This turned out rather longer than I intended. I didn't mean to type this much.

Pre-school to beginning of 3rd grade: Life was fine. Sure, I was a little over emotional (I had two major crying gits over practically nothing), but I was generally well liked because at that time I was something of a class clown. That, combined with the fact that I lent out school supplies and was always nice (too nice, I learned later), earned me a good reputation.
And oh yeah, a kid tried to strangle me in kindergarden, and no one told my parents about it until my mother noticed the bruises around my neck. ("Oh, he has anger problems, he's having problems at home, it's not really his fault...")
Actually, thinking back, some kids picked on me at this time, but it never bothered me. I had a sort of "boyfriend" in third grade, Noah, who quite obviously liked me, and as I liked him, we spent a lot of time together. My mother thought it was adorable. My father was terrified at the thought that I had a boyfriend at age eight. (But I was eight, so I really had no idea what a boyfriend was.)

Rest of 3rd grade: My family and I moved from Georgia to Ohio. Academically this was my worst year. Harmony Elementary (in Georgia) was a bit lacking in terms of their teaching speeds, whereas my new school was one of the best (read: fastest moving without tons failing) in Ohio. I was expected to go from knowing nothing about multiplication to being able to do any multiplication problem (12 x 13 for example) in about a week. Combine this with the fact my new teacher would give ten page packets "just for fun" and then, two days later, inform us it was due tomorrow, and I started to drop in grades. At the time, I believed that anything below an A was pretty much failing.
Friendwise, 3rd grade was ok. I was worried about the move, but the three girls assigned to show me around the school were all really friendly, and all a little bit different as well. We became fast friends.
I did manage to offend the popular crowd that year. A girl, also named Heather, invited me to her birthday party, which ended up having something like 40 people, none of whom I knew. Besides giving her the same gift as three other people, I was obviously out of place, and she took it rather badly. She ended up crying and screaming during the time because she thought I - along with a few other kids who weren't jumping up and down with joy - were trying to make her party no fun. I felt horrible for the rest of the year.
I also made my first major you-don't-do-this-in-Ohio mistake: I asked someone what their religion was. A new kid moved in a few months after I did, and he had to go through the whole this-is-where-I-lived ect, ect speech that I did, and the teacher asked for questions. No one had any questions, and she said we were all being unwelcoming, hostile, ect, ect, and that we needed to ask him questions. So I asked him what religion he was, because in Georgia this was a tolerated, and indeed common, question. Not so here. (Or in most parts of the world now.) I got in a lot of trouble, including writing an apology to him. Of course, he became popular later on.

4th grade: Still not so great academically. My first year with a B - I was horrified. (We didn't have letter grades in the 3rd grade, just "checks" for trying.)
Still ok with my friends. My mother has told me on more than one occasion that I was so withdrawn she considered getting me "mental health". Oddly enough, 4th grade was one of my better Ohio years. I was happy with my friends, and I don't remember being very anti-social at that time. (At least, not to the point I am now.)
Sarah, one of my first friends, moved later that year to Georgia. We've lost contact.

5th grade: I became the teacher's pet. The 5th grade teacher was known for being practically impossible, but I got good grades without even trying and knew the answer to almost anything she asked. The other kids were not particulary thrilled about this, and I wasn't very pleased at having everyone's "awful" work compared to my "perfect" work.
Melanie, another one of my friends, moved. We still email, but we haven't seen other since 6th grade, when she visited. I was down to one close friend out of the orginal four.
I was starting to become a little more worried about my apperance. My hair was very short and very curly, and I had the largest glasses. I got contacts and continued to grow out my hair.

6th grade: Still perfect grades, still a lot of resentment for it. I was used to it by this point, but it did get annoying. This was my first exposure to group work, and I was not fond of it at all. My very first group, in math, consisted of me and three popular girls. The one girl, Gwen (the lead cheerleader, of course ) said at least five times a day, "Heather thinks I'm stupid." Which was, as a matter of fact, completely true, but I never actually said it, and I tried not to imply it either. Still, she tried to get me in trouble 24/7, accusing me of everything from not helping her (she never asked for help, how was I supposed to know?) to saying she was stupid. She actually did manage to get me into trouble now and then, but most of her attempts (thankfully) failed.
My final friend of the 3 made a completely new friend, Lauren (which was rather hypocritical, since everytime I started to make a new friend she accused me of trying to replace Mel or Sarah). Lauren, being mean tempered and totally ignorant, managed to convince her that we could not possibly be friends because I was pessimistic and she was very happy-go-lucky. She gave a long speech involving waterfalls and jackhammers, and Michelle believed it completely. I was alone for most of that year, and for the first time I remember, seriously considering running away (like that would solve anything at all) or harming myself.
Towards the very end of the year, I became friends with two more girls, both of whom were smart and a little odd too. They pretty much pulled me out of starting depression, although I don't think they (or anyone else) realized it.

7th grade: Nothing really to talk about. Started middle school, didn't really care. I started to get careless with my grades, got my first C, still didn't care. Pretty much apathetic that year.

8th grade: Pulled my grades back together. Ironically, this was the first year that a teacher really hated me. My English teacher decided that I was a bad influence to the rest of the class because I always turned in my first draft, and never editted. I pointed out to her that she always gave me full marks anyway, and she became even more furious with me. She frequently accused me of rolling my eyes and being rude.
I ended up calling the principal rude (she flat out skipped a meeting I had arranged to talk with her about starting a school newspaper) and came very, very close to suspension, but the next day I went home with a 102 degree temperature, and they decided I was testy because I was sick.
I drifted away from my 7th grade friends (which was a major mistake) towards a newer group who seemed funny and accepting.

9th grade: First year of high school. I went into high school feeling good, because every single person said, "Oh the cliques start to break up in high school, and people are more accepting."
Liars. If anything, high school kids are more unaccepting than the rest of the kids, at least over here.
My funny and accepting friends were no longer quite so fun to be with. My best friend turned into the class slut, and she told me multiple times that she "wished you were my mom", which is nice and all, but I couldn't be her mother, and it turned out that's all she really liked about me. The rest of my friends didn't understand at all - they all have disorders too, but they're very outgoing, very relaxed with people, and just didn't understand that I couldn't talk to people like they could. I felt very left out, and made myself ill several times during the year because I felt so alone.
This was the year that bullies decided I was a target, but after only two confrontations, they learned that I can get rather violent if the mood suits me, and left me alone, physically. (During both incidents they managed to find a spot away from staff members, and no one was punished.) Of course, there's gossip about me in all the usual forms: sexuality, apperance, mental illness, ect, ect. It didn't bother me, and they eventually moved onto newer, fresher targets.
I found about AS during this year. I felt much better, although I didn't mention it until the last week of school. I was the only one who needed to know why I was different.
This was also the year when I began to get very stressed out. My back, shoulders, and neck began to ache and burn, and of course I was allergic to all the medicines that could help. I was stressed because of school work (I actually had to try for decent grades), lack of friends, and lack of self-esteem. I felt very alone that year. I also started sleeping only three to four hours a night, and that sleep was riddled with nightmares. This was the worst year overall.

10th grade: Starts in two days. Not looking forward to it in the slightest. The stress has kicked back in, and I'm not sleeping again. I haven't talked to my "friends" once all summer, and I don't know what I'm going to do once I get back. I'd rather not face the entire year alone, but I have a feeling I will be. I've made myself ill again (I don't do it on purpose, but all the stress gets to me).
I'm hoping it won't be as bad last year, but I doubt it.

I'm very much looking forward to college. New people, a different enviorment, not all cheerleaders and jocks. (Which is 650 kids out of 700 here.)

1st primary school (kindergarden and years 1 and 2): outcast, no friends, work was much too easy, no challenge, rather would spend the breaktimes reading than "playing", could use the local running track for P.E. (I've loved running and athletics since year 1) - had to play team sports, in which I was traumatised, and so was everybody else because I cannot feel my physical strength (I would hit them with hockey sticks without realising), teachers kept me in kindergarden for an extra year because of my chronological age, even though I have a recorded IQ of 150.

2nd primary school (years 3-6): heaven. I went to a special school for gifted and special educational needs children. I was accelerated (GCSE maths in year 5) and was allowed to spend maths lessons programming computers in years 4-6. Had many friends and was a happy kid.

Secondary school (years 7 to now (12)): Mixed.
Years 7-8: Lonely, quite depressed, a couple (if any) friends when everyone else had at least 5 each, teachers would not let me do my own maths in the lessons (but eventually I started bringing my own textbook and the teacher gave up on me), confided in teacher only to get teacher telling my mother in parents' evening that I should not confide in her.
Year 9: Started seeing the school counsellor. Got referred to an NHS counsellor, which did help, but still started trying to kill myself on several occasions (mostly overdoses), but never did anything life-threatening to myself.
Year 10: Started having very worrying symptoms i.e. hallucinations, delusions (I apparently accused my father of physical abuse when I was younger which I now know is not true) and severely distancing and separating myself from the real world. Started exercising a lot because it was the only thing that made me happy. March '05 ended up in a psychiatric ward ( ) and was diagnosed with acute schizophrenia. Got out later that month and went to America with my Mother (I needed it). Made a slow, but steady recovery.
Year 11: Had an awful first half of term and in October 05, back in the psych ward, but this time much, much worse. Had my medication changed to something stronger (olanzepine) and had to be moved to a different ward because things were so bad for me. But February 06 I got out and became a day patient. In April 06 I was officially discharged (:)).

Now in my transition to Year 12, I am doing much better, albeit fighting the effects of my eating disorder (anorexia) that I inflicted upon myself in hospital. My medication has an evil side-effect: weight gain. Went from 48kg to 55kg. Now I am 39kg. I lost 16kg. Yes, 2.5 stones. I'm trying to get back up to 45kg, but as I am hyperactive, and very active (walking, running, aerobics etc - I cannot give them up! I enjoy them too much, except I've been temporarily banned from running until I get to 42kg), it means eating 2,700kcal a day. :S

There you are, the story of most of my life.

I hate it when I spill my life out like that.

Sorry.

I shouldn't have burdened you.

I think it was my 9th grade year of high school. Currently 11th grade is in a race with 9th grade. 11th grade doesn't seem to be tiring.

9th grade was my first year in high school. My best friend was going to Cabrini so I decided on Cabrini. I ran home from middle school on a sunny friday afternoon, a smile on my face. I was excited and I could hardly contain myself. I wasn't accepted into Cabrini. My parents handed me a list of other schools I could choose and I randomly picked a school. I met all of my old friends from elementary school in high school and my had they changed. It seems as if I wasn't clued in on the whole I-don't-care-about-anything-anymore attitude and I felt so strange when talking to my old friends. I became a loner. I wandered the halls staring at faces of pupils fancying to see a friend from middle school. I felt like a complete moron because I was in all basic classes. Now in 11th grade my few friends are not in my classes and now my only hope is reading a book. At lunch I sit with one friend and that is a high point in my day.