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How to communicate? Everyone misunderstands me!

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qwerty123
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08 Jul 2010, 11:19 pm

I constantly have this problem, ESPECIALLY in debate. I have an idea, and I try to communicate it. People tell me that it's wrong. I think, they must be crazy! It's obviously right! We spend an hour yelling, and then I figure out that they have misunderstood me.

How does this HAPPEN? How do you improve communication skills?



Poppycocteau
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08 Jul 2010, 11:26 pm

I have no idea, but it always happens with me too - I'm starting to avoid discussing anything with my parents entirely because it's just not worth it for all of the arguments that ensue. Instead I compose a very carefully thought out letter detailing my grievances, and otherwise don't talk to them.


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carzak
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09 Jul 2010, 12:13 am

Here's a start:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debate

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_thinking

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logic

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logical_fallacy



Apple_in_my_Eye
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09 Jul 2010, 2:51 am

Outside of a classroom, logic has about 50% to do with winning arguments.



Asp-Z
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09 Jul 2010, 3:53 am

Same. I find myself having to repeat things to my mum about a trillion times, not in debates but just normal conversation :roll:



Ancalagon
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09 Jul 2010, 3:43 pm

What kind of things get misunderstood? Can you give a specific example?


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Countess
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10 Jul 2010, 5:00 pm

In my personal experience, the majority of people I come across have crappy communication skills.

If you make a point and meet resistance, the first step is to ask why the other party disagrees. That way, you can determine quite quickly if the issue is a difference of opinion or a simple misunderstanding. And I have to agree with Apple_in_my_eye. People tend to be more interested in how they feel about something as opposed to how logical or rational something may be. As aggravating as that is, you will find it is nearly impossible to change someone's opinion once they have decided they know "what is right".

The other issue I encounter is I use very specific laguage, and if the person you're speaking with is vocabulary challanged (which also seems to be very common) that can be incredibly problematic.



FreeSpirit2000
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18 Jul 2010, 12:38 am

I have to repeat myself a lot many times. I was buying some ice cream at the mall and I had to repeat myself 15 times because of some dumb Asian immigrant worker was being deaf and doesn't know what the heck I said. It can be a part of AS, and I was talking as clear as possible.



thepatriot5000
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21 Jul 2010, 6:33 pm

Countess wrote:
In my personal experience, the majority of people I come across have crappy communication skills.

If you make a point and meet resistance, the first step is to ask why the other party disagrees. That way, you can determine quite quickly if the issue is a difference of opinion or a simple misunderstanding. And I have to agree with Apple_in_my_eye. People tend to be more interested in how they feel about something as opposed to how logical or rational something may be. As aggravating as that is, you will find it is nearly impossible to change someone's opinion once they have decided they know "what is right".

The other issue I encounter is I use very specific laguage, and if the person you're speaking with is vocabulary challanged (which also seems to be very common) that can be incredibly problematic.


I also have trouble with things like this. I try to explain things to people and ration it as much as possible, and it clearly makes sense, but they say that it's just wrong, or they have no idea what I'm trying to say, so I just feel like I wasted a lot of valuable air. In the end, I just don't know why they don't understand my rationale.