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Hello, I am new here and want to discuss a few things, I will make it as short as possible, I love to write on and on. Well first of all, I do not even know if I have aspergers or not, even though I was diagnosed with it, but I do know the fear of having to present something or spine tingling fear at the the very thought of talking. Up to this year, panic attacks were the common thing - everyday. Grades were impacted because of this. I did not have any friends up to this year, I was too shy and anxious to talk to anyone and often had problems talking to even my own family members. Being able to talk outside of school was also insanely hard. I could not read a book, talk to people, listen to music or anything, I was just that self conscious.

This of course started happening after abuse I had experienced in the past but my talking problems were not quite so significant until this year. Never before was my grades so bad, my friends so small and my worries so overly anticipated of the horror to come. Either way, I seem to be improving. After volunteering at the humane society and getting myself a companion animal, health and overall confidence and anxiety seems to be improving. I thought back to this report coming up, a book report. I have played though my mind what I am going to say and how I am going to say it, because we have to give a book talk over it as well.

I thought of opening with a line to break the ice, like a quote. Two examples: 1) Vampire books are very enticing, vampires biting necks, blood being drained and people dieing. As compelling as that may be, vampire books are quite trite. 2) A person who publishes a book willfully appears before the populace with his pants down . . . . If it is a good book nothing can hurt him. If it is a bad book, nothing can help him.” – Edna St. Vincent Millay. I am scared to be too enthusiastic, which I know that sounds weird, but last time I thought that and tried to present a book talk, I was stunned in the middle of the class. This time I want to do well, and I am doing a book report over blind cats, more specifically, Homer's Odyssey, written by Gwen Cooper.

Is it really possible to act too involved in the book and act too enthusiastic? I might take a blind leap and give the report another try tommrow... hopefully it goes well. I haven't been able to present anything in front of the class before and I am a senior. I am not doing this for my health, besides learning how to talk, I am more than proud to give a book report over anything having to do with animals. I am just too scared of acting "too strange", "too enthusiastic", "too erratic or strange". Not ever being in front the class has taken its toll. What are your suggestions on getting in front of the class, I have a clear imagination of what to say and how to say it, but doubt my own thoughts on it. I have just so recently delved into reading, reading a few books a week and I am overly voracious in reading and writing, so I want to do a great job.

Earlier this year, my computer science professor called me up to the board. It ended with my knees shaking and then me wobbling to get back to my seat before I collapsed.

I grew somewhat since then.

--I guess the easiest piece of advice I can give is to write an outline of what you are going to say so if you draw a blank, you just look down.

--Replace the fear of failure with the will to succeed.

--Dont look people in the eye or face. Look at the top of their heads or their hair.

--Pretend its you talking to yourself.

--Practice in front of your parents or siblings or favorite school staff. Ask them if you were clear or if you seemed nervous so you know what to improve on.

--The good thing about NTs is that a lot of them seem to absorb emotions like a sponge. If you are enthusiastic about something, they will likely catch onto that feeling or behavior and be more interested because of that.

Talking to yourself, right.

I have a bit of a headstart in this area halfd my life is an act - but standing up in front of the class to lecture, I just turn myself into The Professor. The real me is just moving the mouse, my avatar does the talk.

And look over the heads. You can even look like doing eyecontact if you point your face three inches above Gloria's hair.

Comes better with practice.

I agree on the part about write a summary of what you're going to say. And hopefully you don't have to look at it too often (or at all) but it's better than just stammering like an idiot. Even the national anthem performers at baseball games will stick the lyrics on the inside of their hat (they never need them - though I recall someone singing at the Red Sox game needed to look a couple years ago - stage fright, I'd presume, since it is the national anthem. But anyway, find some way that helps you remember what you need to say while relaxing, and stick with it.