Sororities/Fraternities and branching out of comfort zone

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Okay first things first-I am NOT a sorority girl. I don't like late parties, I don't like drinking, I'm very shy, ect. But the past year at college I've been completely isolated and haven't at all made an effort to acclimate and spend time on campus. This next semester I signed up to RUSH but am really regretting it and terrified. Even if I do get accepted into a sorority, I wouldn't want to attend the late parties, I'm just not interested. do you think it's wise to at least give the sorority thing a shot and try to branch out? It's just so not who I am and I dislike being on campus for extended periods of time. But I don't know if RUSHING for a sorority is the right answer. I just don't know what other way to try and enter a group of friends to feel a little more comforted?

It's good to push yourself a bit, but from the sound of your post I'm not sure this is the way for you to go about it. Sororities do judge, and they tend to be a more social group of people than anyone else. Maybe you could join a school club or something where the pressure to be overly social and conformist isn't so intense. It just seems like you really aren't comfortable with this at all, and it would be a shame for a bad experience with and incredibly judgmental group of people to scare you away from making efforts to socialize more.

I'm surprised an autie or aspie would be interested in a sorority or fraternity. By definition, those places are anathema as they stress social contact and behaviour most unbecoming of us spectrumites.

The baseline is that most student organizations don't do anything. For example, a caving society has one or two events planned the entire semester, and then boring business meetings every couple of weeks, and that's it.

And the leaders feel "tasked out" and a new member coming in with ideas and fresh energy feels like just one more "task."

What about, with 2012 being a presidential election, getting involved with a Democratic, Republican, or independent group, your choice?

Or maybe drama and theater, or dance?

There are a lot of different organizations that you can join while in college, so I wouldn't consider a sorority as your only choice. Greek organizations charge a pretty hefty fee, and if you don't think that you would actually enjoy the group, then it's probably not worth it. People who you meet in a group that you don't really want to be involved in probably aren't going to be similar to you, anyway, and so making friends wouldn't be the easiest thing in the world. I would suggest joining a group, just probably not a sorority.

Based on your post, I don't think Greek life is where you'll find what your looking for. Greek life can be fun, and sororities will introduce you to a lot of people, and they do good work but they do like to party as well.

I think though, to be involved, your going to have to be flexible on your thing about not liking to stay on campus. Any student group is going to have events and such, it's kind of pointless to join and never go.

Does your school have faculty-based student associations? I was an executive on our IEEE student branch and Engineering Student Society, and it helped with meeting people. We did organize some drinking events (the engsoc particularly), but also a lot of non-drinking social events, professional events, etc, and every faculty in our school has it's own student association. Find out who your executive is in the fall and see if there's any way you could get involved. Alternatively, there's other student groups/clubs like student newspapers etc. It's easy to skim over the massive expanses of posters that plaster every university I've ever visited, but if you actually stop to look through them, there's usually a lot going on, and not all of it will force partying upon you.

I would look at groups that are focused on your interests, whatever those might be. Getting involved with Greek organizations just sounds like it would probably be a really bad thing for someone on the spectrum to go through, even neurotypical people are often upset by it if they are turned down. I remember back in college the school's counselling services would have to do a special article in the school paper each year at rush time to try to help the people who were rejected cope with it. Aspies are often so much more sensitive to social rejection that I just don't think it would be a good idea.

Oh God, I rushed my freshman year at TAMU with my mother pointing a gun to my head. I wish I'd been diagnosed sooner in life, then maybe she would have understood how horrifying it was. Then my sophomore year, my parents held the proverbial gun to my head again and made me move INTO THE HOUSE. With fifty shrieking girls. My second night there I packed up all my things and moved in with my friend. It didn't help my roommate was the weirdest girl in the weird sorority and kept her dead pet fish in a glass case. Also keep in mind I'm queer as all get out, haven't worn a dress willingly in ever, and the only sorority that accepted me on bid day was known as "Dog House." I was cut from 10 out of 12 on the first day. There were a few girls in ADPi that were actually pretty damn awesome so I stuck it out for my freshman year; the house was just way too much going on. I believe RUSH is now referred to as Recruitment nowadays, at most schools. Just FYI...

All that said, I did learn a LOT about socializing. I was pretty involved my freshman year in college, didn't do too well in school b because of it, but I was a student representative for the GLBT group, started the local roller derby team, a Fish Camp counselor (A&M thing, basically an extended orientation/summer camp for incoming freshmen), and was chosen as a Gold Star (hah) recruiter. How? I am damn awkward and bad at socializing, but after going through student rep, derby (which was a full time job on it's own), and FC counselor, I'd gotten really REALLY good at faking conversations and getting people to talk about themselves, and at the sorority's practice runs I was actually called out as one of the best interviewers. After five days of rushing practice, I was even better at it and got put in charge of a rotation squad (12 other sorority members) and had to coach them.

Well, I've been through Recruitment both as a Potential Member and a recruiter, so I feel like I'm pretty qualified to answer your questions. Feel free to PM me. Every sorority is different at every university, and there are genuine people in all of them, as well as nasty b*****s. My Big sister (basically my mentor) was awesome, a little Aspie herself I'm sure and also super gay. My next-door neighbor in the house was huge into anime, comic books, and video games so I came to her room a lot on the weekends to "nerd party." Rush/Recruitment is the HARDEST part of the entire process, once you're in, there's a lot less obligations to fulfill. They all require you to do volunteer work, anything of your choice, and those can open up some really awesome opportunities to meet people (it's how I got into Fish Camp which was the highlight of my entire college career).

Also I'm now an "alumni member," but I dropped out of college and the sorority and have lots of tasty inside info that I'm not sure I am allowed to divulge but want to so bad and will if asked...

Rush was EXCRUCIATING. I knew which sorority I wanted into (Gamma Phi Beta), so I pretty much blew off the other houses and focused all my efforts on acting normal and making proper small talk with the girls in my goal house. Thankfully, it worked out and I got a bid from that particular sorority. It was dicey, but I managed to get by with them thinking I was just quirky in a cute way instead of all out weird.

I only lasted one semester before I opted to go alumni, but it worked - I got one intense semester of forced socialization with the "popular" girls on campus, made a couple of really close friends who earned the title of sister, and then got the hell out of there. The alumni chapter lets you choose how much contact you want to maintain with the sorority.

Go for it.

It might be better to find other organizations related to any interests you have. It's what I did when I was in college, and I had a great time. They tend to be more accepting of quirky people than the Greek system usually is, and for the most part, the dues are cheaper than what you would pay for Rush.

Now, when I started at the community college before transferring, I did participate in a sorority, but all of those were independent from the Greek system, and the focus was more on community service than partying. They also strictly enforced the rule against hazing in the sororities, so it was easy to get in once you completed a small packet, which included meeting with a counselor to discuss your academic goals. The reason for that was that those organizations were more concerned about making sure you actually graduated or transferred instead of partying.

"Sisterhood" isn't going to make instant friends out of strangers, just fyi. It will still be awkward at first - I liked Greek life ok simply because the girls in my sorority were definitely more willing to give me a chance than any other big group of girls ever has, thanks largely to the idea that we were all in it together as a "family."

sorry to disappoint (not that anyone cares!) but I ended up quitting rush. It was so not me and I couldn't force myself to do it more than two days. Of course this has caused me to completely give up on a school experience. I know indulging in how pathetic I am isn't the answer but right now I'm isolating myself and I think I need to re-evaluate how to live a fuller life free of such unneccessary stressors.

intermural soccer, photography group, coffee shops, artsy-fartsy groups... Idk I hope that helps