Who's glad Facebook didn't exist when they went to school?

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This is for people who already graduated from school/college, and looking back on the past.

Is anyone on here just plain glad that Facebook and cell phones (a very dangerous combination) didn't exist when they went to school? And I mean school, where most bullying happens. People in college are at least slightly more mature and respectful. Facebook just seems to be ripe grounds for cyberbullying and humiliating aspies, as well as making it easy for aspies to make social mistakes themselves. Consider the following:

** Pre-Facebook, when a group of bullies is playing keep-away with your possessions only the bullies involved and the bystanders will laugh at you.
* Post-Facebook, another bully will record it with a camera phone and post it to his Facebook page for the whole school to laugh at.

** Pre-Facebook, if you told a girl you liked her and she thought you were the most repulsive guy on earth, only her and her friends would laugh at you; other people wouldn't care.
* Post-Facebook, if you wrote an "I like you" message to the same girl, she'd forward to her entire friend list, to make sure you're permanently barred from dating at your school.

** Pre-Facebook, the bullying happened only on the school grounds, on the bus, and maybe around the neighborhood; your home was generally safe. They can call your home, but landlines are protected from stalking by "Abuse of a Common Carrier" laws. Plus, since parents control the landlines, most bullies generally showed restraint there.
* Post-Facebook, bullies can write nasty, vile messages to you anytime they pleased and/or harass you on your cell phone. Cell phones are a private communication network, so common carrier laws do not apply. And your cell phone is oftentimes on your person everywhere you go, making bullying possible 24/7/365.

** Pre-Facebook, if you thought you were dating a girl and she only liked you as a friend, you were the only one who'd know you made a faux pas.
* Post-Facebook, if you marked "in a relationship" for the same girl when she didn't like you, you'd embarrass yourself in front of anyone who viewed your page.

** Pre-Facebook, if you made a fool of yourself at school, word would get around only verbally and likely die out after a year or two, as the people who saw you do it graduated and forgot about you.
* Post-Facebook, if you made a fool of yourself at school, it would get uploaded to Facebook and remain active to follow you around for many years to come, and never be forgotten.

And so on, and so on, and so on. Needless to say, I'm really, truly, beyond words glad there was no Facebook until I was my senior year of college. And even then, the faux pas I made on Facebook were generally mild. I used it a couple of times to ask out girls in my classes, but a friend got wind of it and told me to stop, and I listened. Plus, back then, Facebook was new and has not yet established an ingrained role yet. So in the end, I suffered little or no damage to my reputation.

I can only imagine how my school years would be if I was in high school (when the worst bullying happens) in 2012, rather than 1998. I was getting bullied pretty heavily as it is, but oh god, what if Facebook existed back then!? Anyone else feel the same way?

I was in the pre facebook era, but I still did not
stand for being Terrorised by Terrorists.

That is what "bullies" really are. Terrorists.

I skipped school.

And went to the library.

When they tried to force me to go, I just ran off again.

I told them that unless the terrorism STOPS, I will
NOT go to school, and if you force me, I will resist you
every step of the way.

Most of my schooling" was end up being home schooled
or from studying books I found at the library.

Yup, have to keep in mind the Netherlands is generally a (couple) year(s) behind on the US till things catch on like facebook/twitter. (Since it's mostly "famous" people who have to promote stuff like that and that means earning money.. anyway losing track). So when I was 12ish no one really saw a computer yet as a gaming/communiction/social tool so I had "the internet" pretty much to myself and spend my afterschool hours there. When more people started using it it was pretty cool to finally have some people besides Americans I knew from MMO's to talk to but as more people from my school got msn and my "school list" grew from 2 to 200 people I started using MSN less and less and never made the step to "facebook" (there were some years where several social sites were competing for dominance so "facebook" is a collection name in this context).

I have to admit that social site era went a bit over my head and noticed many times I had missed something the next day at school. That being said, I never allowed bullying and my class has always been one that was against a teacher rather than a kid in the class, and that brought it's own realisations with it. (That teachers rather see some kid in their class bullied than themselves, as I promise you teachers don't have some adult anti bullying shield against 12-15 year olds, and we had weeks were we had no teacher.)
As I stated before in threads I'm pretty sure I would have been bullied if I wasn't 2 heads taller than my classmates and sporting a beard at age 12 (schools are smaller here/classes stay the same a lot so you decide "who" you'll be your entire school life in year one pretty much).

On the same side bullying is more in the open, and (I hope) people who put their bullying video's on the internet get caught/punished for it somehow. And someone who may have felt really alone now has a way to reach out to similar situated people too.



Ugh turning this once again into a post about me, so I apologize, but as I was typing this I finally came to a conclusion about something;

Every class/group needs a scapegoat, it's a tension buffer like in wolfpacks, if someone needs to vent frustration they can't vent on someone because of their social status, they need someone to be the lowest of the lowest to be a target so there's zero social repercussions from it. In my school life I never allowed bullying and my classes (even when they changed when switching from schools) turned out to be "unruly classes" that got teachers "burned out". Why? I think it may be because normally kids vent the frustration their teacher (and each other socially/home situation/whatever) gives them on some kid in class, but in my classes everyone was forced to aim it at the teacher.

So maybe the "fix" in bullying isn't about stopping people release their frustration, but on what and how rather than on who, and perhaps by making sure kids can "target" their teacher when something about school isn't fair rather than someone who can't help it. I mean how many times does someone get bullied because the bully got in trouble with the teacher for something and the bully will find some way to spin the blame onto the victim to justify the bullying. (And how many times does the school then take this -bullshit- reason as a "well we can understand how he got mad about that so there is some justification in his anger, just not how he expressed it" totally "eyepatching" the totally clear behind the scenes "more going on" situation).

Edit: So something like facebook where the only way to vent is by actually making a message, (rather than playing a game/play sports/make a painting/play music), and messages are sent to people, so they hurt and are personal by definition. I mean, if two people who got into a fight at school went home and jammed on their drumsets for an evening, the situation would have been cooled off.. If they spend the entire evening thinking/typing up messages, the frustration is released in something that other people can clearly understand.

I have thought of this before and am so glad social networking sites and mobile phones with cameras did not exist back then. What was bad would have been so much worse. I can imagine the sort of things that would have taken place if these devices existed e.g. photos from changing rooms, toilets, beatings etc. all posted on the Internet. Not forgetting all the hate encouraging, personally attacking Facebook groups. And fake profiles. (Well, the list can continue endlessly...)

Hearing about what children bullied in school today have to go through due to the active use of these devices makes me really upset and angry. And even more so when the schools seem to do nothing about it.

The bullying (particularly in middle school) was extremely bad for me so yeah you could say it's a miracle I got out in time. Facebook came out around the time I was in college but even though I still had bullying problems, Facebook wasn't my biggest problem with online bullies. It was on another forum I was part of consisting of people from school that I knew in person. This forum is where I learned about the power and effects of online bullying from people you actually know in real life.

And back then, Facebook was ONLY for college students and graduates. Making it available to everyone was the big mistake.

I feel really awful for kids who must grow up in the social network era. Not only does it suck out the value of socializing with your friends outside of your computer, but it allows bullying to spread its wings. It used to be that you could go home to escape the bullying even if it for a short while but now getting on your computer can be a nightmare.

I'm also really relieved that I got my AS diagnosis prior to the creation of Facebook. It allowed me the rational ability to not take Facebook seriously. In fact I quit Facebook before Facebook bullying became widestream because it was creeping me out how seriously everyone was taking it.

I would not just jump into the idea, unless, unless,
things are unbearable for you and the only way
for you to keep from harming yourself, is to isolate
yourself.

And, if you find you are forced to do this, be ready
that the truant people may screw with you along with
the principal, etc, but you have to make a ultimatem,
"Either the terrorism STOPS NOW, or I will make
your job a living hell until it does stop."

Or something to this effect, force them to realise
that they will have to stop the terrorism for you
to return to school, until you feel safe.

Tell them you don't feel safe, to begin with,
if they don't listen, then you may have to take
drastic actions.

I have a mouth that I cannot control when
terrorists screwed with me, and when they
threatened violence, I just SCREAMED and
SCREAMED until the admins came running,
I told them that every time I was being threatened
with violence, I would scream, suspend me or expell
me if you must, I told them, but until the
terrorism stops, there will be reactions and I
will not change.


If they expell you, then go to the library for
six hours or so, take a lunch with you if you wish,
and just study, whatever, maths, your native language,
grammar or whatnot, the basics, even if you think
you suck at them, I mean you don't have to pound
away at the crappy subjects, just do your best to
at least teach yourself enuf to get by, and by all means,
Follow your typematch, study your best subject and
get as good as you can. Just read all you can about
the basic subjects as best you can, you very well may
learn more in the library without all those terrorists
interfering with your own education.

For some reason I don't get harassed on facebook like at all it is weird but I did not use it until after I graduated high school.

Well, there are two reasons I never went off the 'deep end': there was no permanent record of what happened other than my extremely vivid (and painful) memories and aside from a few harassing phone calls nobody bothered me at home. Hearing about a few suicides in my area comes as no surprise because at least my bullying has no record and nobody could post anything online of what they did unlike today.

I had some pretty malicious rumors spread about me back in the day (the kind I can sue for defamation as an adult) and I can only imagine how bad it might be been if facebook existed, especially given how gullible the average person is and how they believe any ludicrous thing said about someone. I could almost imagine never getting a job as a teenager and it be because someone posted on a fake profile made in my name making me seem like a pedophile or other nasty thing. Yes, kids can be creative with their sadistic tendencies.

On the positive side though, it would actually mean you would have someone to go to the cops with, as little as they care. Every time I reached out for help I was told getting beaten badly was a school problem not a police problem but if there is video it would be a little harder to deny that I was exaggerating or making up stories. I swear to this day most people think I'm delusional because there is no way half the class would physically attack a 6'4" guy and the other half would stand back and laugh.

Facebook is full of BS anyway. I am happy Facebook did not exist when I was in high school. That would have made bullying and rumor spreading a million times worse. I wasn't bullied but I can imagine how damaging that site can be to people's reputations.