Failing College Again Not Sure What to Do

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Well, I'm not sure where to start really.

I have had nothing but a bad history when it comes to organized education.

I was home schooled for 14 years, then I went to boarding school where I did mostly C working, a few B's and A's. I was there for two years. After that I started community college and did C work.

I went to a university, flunked out because I was struggling with depression. I didn't eat, sleep, shower, etc.
So I went back to community college, failed that semester. Went to another university, where I am at currently and I see the same pattern of me failing to attend class.

I go at first, then I'll miss once, and then I'm too ashamed to come back. Sometimes I do.

Honestly, I don't know why I don't go. I just get so anxious I freeze up. It makes no sense and it's so frustrating.

I just want to know about any other people out there had trouble getting through school and what other alternatives did you take?

I feel like crap because my parents keep wasting money on their incompetent child (me), and I just feel so terrible. I like the social aspects of college, and I do like some of the classes, but it's the routine I just can't seem to get into. I try but I always wind up back in the same place.

I think my best option is to go back to community college and take very few classes, because I get easily overwhelmed with three or four.

I have always been good at working. I have never missed a day of work or was late. I think I should just get a job and take one or two classes at a time working towards an associate's degree.

I think vocational training or something along those lines would work better for me.

I don't know what I want to do. All these books and online things about aspies say they're really good at something or really smart and can excel at their obsession. Well what the *** for me?
I'm not good at a single thing.

My obsessions can't be morphed into a job or something. I just sit around and obsessively watch True Crime shows. My dad always says I should do something with that. But I don't watch it for the forensics, I just like the stories.

Honestly, I just feel like I'm going to be a bum living on the streets or sitting on my parents couch for the rest of my life and that scares me so much. I want to have a decent job and be independent and have a family.

I'm so anxious and nervous and worried that I've been sitting on my couch rocking back and forth for the past several hours and groaning.

It seems like I can't be committed to anything. The only thing I ever did right was working at a local grocery store. My manager loved me, I was his favorite employee, customers loved me and the manager said there would always be a spot for me if I wanted to come back.

I wish there was a class I could take on life. Like how do you manage money? Bank stuff. Like how a credit card works or all that stuff. Bills, payments, I don't understand any of this.

I guess I just need help finding a direction to go because I'm pretty sure I'm going to wind up getting kicked out of here, and even if I don't, I think I should leave because the stress is too much.

I also need help pinpointing what job I should pursue so I know what to work on for an associate's.

I like true crime and medical shows, but mostly true crime. I like psychology and philosophy too.
I can see myself becoming a radiation therapist or an EMS. Especially the EMS because it would be exciting.
I could see myself being a detective too maybe. I'unno. Help guys.

Are you interested in what you're studying? If not this could affect motivation to study it (and things like attending classes). Otherwise see if you can find out what's affecting your study and your anxiety. Also see if there's any help available at your college so you can talk to people for things like your career path, anxiety, living life etc.

As someone in a near parallel situation I've developed a system that I'm testing. First, I got a job to keep student loans under control. Then I started asking myself the hard questions. Why did I fail? What distracted me? What did I like/dislike? What are my interests? What is me and what is the facade I put up for the world?
They're hard questions (especially that last one). It took a while, and I'm still not 100% sure on my answers. So now I'm taking some light coursework to rebuild my confidence. I've found that online courses work well for me. But I'm checking that the credits I'm earning will transfer to my ultimate goal.
I've figured out what I want to do with my life and how to get there. It feels better to have a plan instead of wandering aimlessly.

I realized I wanted to avoid going to school because it was overwhelming on nearly every level. I want to go to school, love learning, hate the actual place. Low ceilings with flourescent flickering bulbs and no daylight, chemical smells from cleaning, crowded, noise, social difficulty with teachers and students, boredom with pointless memorization. I have found though that the particular school can be the problem. I did fantastic at two schools, not bad at one but still maintained the grades, and bombed out completely at another. At the worst school part time was ok. I probably would not have quit if I didn't push myself for full time at the insistence of my dean. The smaller schools were better.

I am way better at college than university. University was a complete failure. Now I'm doing something in school that is much more focused and hands-on, but I still have trouble. The classes are quite small, and though that is good in a way (way better than giant classes) I often get socially overwhelmed. I have trouble with my marks because of time management stuff, and avoiding work due to stress. I also skip classes frequently. I think I would benefit from the same route you suggested - take just a few classes, and work.

I actually did a semester of university where I only took two classes and a lab, and I did really well (as opposed to failing half my classes!). I think it's a focus issue in part. You can focus on just two subjects at a time.

Stick it out and find something that works for you. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Cheer up, old bean.

Maybe you would be happy in criminology? What about writing? You could try and write some crime novels/stories, send them to a publisher, and see what happens! Sounds like you have a good sense for what makes a good story.

you should try online courses, I take them because i dont have to be somewhere at a certain time and my grades are higher compared to my old college. In my cold college i would usually get a B, but my current online college i have gotten 4 As(first semester Fall 2012)

I don’t know how much help I can be but I have a couple of suggestions that might be worth considering.

Whenever there was something that I couldn’t seem to find the motivation to do, I created a reward system for myself in order to do it. Maybe you could arrange something like, for every test you pass in a class at a certain grade, you reward yourself. You could make a list of crime movies you want to see and celebrate with them, whenever you reach some smaller goal you’ve set for yourself. It would give you something to look forward to, considering the classes themselves don’t interest you. If you don’t think you can set up something like this by yourself, talk to your parents and ask for help. They sound like they would be willing to, from what you’ve described of them.
Another suggestion I have is that you try to tie the classes in to your interest whenever you can. For example, if you were studying Ancient Greece and the professor states to do a project on any topic in that time period that may have had a major impact on history, consider looking into the murder of Alexander The Great’s father (it was blamed on a servant but there was a good chance he was ordered to do this by Alexander or his mother, both of whom would have a motive to kill him.)

I also chose this historical example for a reason beyond a simple example for a way to make classes more fun. There are lots of historical crimes that have gone unsolved. I think some archeologists actually might base their whole careers around trying to solve these ancient mysteries, to find out the real story behind who committed the crimes and why. Perhaps this would be a direction to drive your interests in. You would eventually working with other people who also want to know the real story. It would be a challenge to solve such cold cases but if you were to succeed, you would have figured out a true story that had been a mystery for ages.

Most Universities offer counseling in general which is something Im planning on doing for the next like months as I will be graduating and I'd rather not become depressed over it alongside of other issues within my family sphere going on currently.

If anything I've learned the being around a group of people who are supportive of you be they other students and other faculty as well as in contact with Disability services and help with things like note taking, testing time, and where you take the test.

Yes the intro classes to many of to minor and major cores were about a B/C because of the memorization however as someone going between both music, Art and science I have found that being able to manage that is half the battle but also that looking into things on your own can help you understand what you are learning. Like for me I would look into Cell Press articles on my own time and recognize words and functions I was covering in a chapter which kept my interest as well as going all out in Lab. Even though my main area is in Drawing.

Currently I have pushed my last like 8 semesters (one summer with 15 cred load, 3 other semesters with like 4 credits) with 14+
credits. It's hard to manage but it's still possible. If anything try online. Can't hurt to give it a shot.

My 22 yr old son is in a similar predicament but after two starts at 2 different courses he had to get out and " smell the roses" for a while.
Sometimes as a parent it is hard to know what to do? Whether it's best to keep a bit of pressure on or not?
But after being in school for so long ie 14 years it can be good to have a break as long as you don't closet yourself away. Do your Ma & Pa understand how you feel so they can support you rather than just push you? Sounds like it might be good for you and your parents to have some counselling so that they understand what's happening and be more of a help than a hassle.
You write very well. And you definitely have interests in Crime & Forensics, Psycholgy, Detective work......that's quite a bit to go on.An EMS would be great but it can get so exciting it gets stressful! I'm in Australia & our education system is different to yours. To be a detective here you have to become a police officer first via "on the job" training. Then you go to College to do a degree to become a Detective.
But you will have to work out what type of tertiary education & at what pace is right for you. Or work if that feels right. Look out for número UNO ! It is too hard a job to appease others (ie your parents) . If you are happy your more likely to work out what you want to do.


Have some FUN for a while! And All the Best To You.

You do write very well. You also seemed to have an answer for what you wanted to do: "maybe I should get a full-time job and take one or two courses at a time toward an associate's degree" (sorry if it's not an exact quote).

You seem to have a lot of insight into why you do what you do, and why things are not working out so well. But you also pointed out your strengths in being able to hold down a job. So why not go with your strengths for awhile?

I'd say you have a very promising future!

I thought I would give some of you guys a heads up.

Well, I was pulled out of school before I could get kicked out. I've struggled with school my whole life before I ever started drinking alcohol, but alcohol definitely exascerbated my issues.

My parents found me passed out in my apartment bathroom, so I was sent to inpatient rehab.

It's 7 months later and I have remained sober this entire time. I have been living in a sobriety house (similar to a half way house except it's for recovering addicts/alcoholics). I actually run the house now.

I am only going to remain here for a few more months then I am trying to move on with my life.

These are the multiple reasons I believe I did not do well in school:

1. I wasn't taking my medication
2. I didn't take advantage of the disability help (I did somewhat but that's when I actually made my appointments)
3. Alcohol made all this worse.

I now sit here in this recovery/sobriety house I run, feeling miserable all over again. I was happy here at first, I thought I had friends, but truly, I do not. I think the reason I've been here this long is because I thought I had something worth staying for, but I was wrong.

I knew my parents have been wanting to send me to the college living experience in Florida, which I have already toured and was accepted to, but I kept prolonging it.

I guess I'm ready to go. Although this will take time as I have to leave the recovery house in good hands before I depart.

I'll keep you posted.

I feel ya. Especially being home educated and all. I feel like people always brag on ya about how smart you are, but your grades reveal otherwise (or so you think). There are many careers to choose from. There are many tycoons that were worse of than you or I. Bernie Ebbers (Worldcom, even if that was a scam) was a father at 14. There was another guy who founder a billion dollar loan refinance company, and he only had a third grade reading level. Thomas Edison was told he was dumb. So keep up the faith, and keep trying to find what drives you.

My advice would be see if you can only do college part of the time.

From your post (I admit I only skimmed it, so I might have missed something) our situations are similar, though not exactly alike. In my case, I nearly failed my a-levels, for what seems to be similar reasons to what you describe. Sort of. Mostly I just get bored, lose motivation and end up drifting away, no matter how much I liked something to start with. I guess commitment isn't something I excel at. I was late for everything (I mean, like 45 minutes late), when I showed up at all. Mostly I just hung out with folks, talking and smoking and so on, and didn't bother with the 'classes' part of college more than I had to to avoid getting kicked out. Which makes me sound horribly lazy, and maybe I am, but the truth is I just didn't have the energy for it anymore.

I'm taking a year off and working full time before going back to college next September, though. I think sometimes folks just need to take a break from sh*t. Do the same thing enough times, no matter how much you like it, and it'll drive you batsh*t, probably. Or something along those lines. Don't be so hard on yourself dude, you'll work things out eventually.