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After about a year of intense preparation and writing around 100 test exams, starting this friday is my state examination in law, consisting of seven individual five-hour tests over the span of 10 days, followed by three oral examinations next year. Needless to say, I am out of my mind because I don't know what to do should I fail. Failure rate is between 30% and 50%, and the majority of people passing reach a D grade, while only about 10% reach C+ and about 1% reaches a B (and an A happens about once every 5 years or so). While I do think I am prepared in a way that allows me to pass, reaching anything that enables you to have some sort of career (reachin a C or better) is pretty much a gamble. Just a little venting on my part, but I hope my AS brain won't crap out on me.

I don't envy you. My nerves couldn't take that. It's probably a good thing I didn't go to university but good on you for trying to make something off yourself. No offense but at 27 you seem to be a little older than the average student. That's okay. It just proves that it's never too late. Kudos and good luck!

Thank you. And no offense taken I did take a little longer than average (one year to be exact), but the regular time for studying the law in germany is about 5 years for your first state examination, and another 2 to 3 for your Bar-exam. Most men are somewhere between 25 and 27 wen finishing the "longer" subjects - at least people from my "generation". I still had 13 years of school and on year of (at this time: mandatory) alternatie civilian service.

Wait, an A only happens once every five years? Where are all the smart people in your class?

Yes. Each "campaign" as a series of tests is called at lawschool, has about 500 people taking the exam. Of that, about 2 to 5 people reach a grade of B. An A is really, REALLY rare, and it always an A-. There has never been in the history of German law schooling been a straight A. It has not so much to do with there not being any smart people, but the insane standards in grading. You could say that reaching a grade of C+ (which is considered "grade with commendation" in the state examination) is equal to reaching an A in other subjects. Which is exactl what is really grinding my nerves. You don't get a C, B or an A by being smart and having studied. You get those grades by being smart, having studied, and being lucky that those subjects you studied more intense are randomly selected.

Stressing out about something as important as the bar exam is perfectly natural, but why do you feel the need to talk yourself down? You've obviously worked very hard to make it this far, let alone the fact that someone with a disability has to work that much harder to keep up, and you've proven yourself more capable/hard-working than 99.99% of humanity already.

While I can't speak from first-hand experience about your situation per law school, I don't think you should let perfectionism sabotage you. If you pass the bar, you pass, even if you don't "make history" and be one of those A's, pulling off even a C is still a pass, and you can move on with the next stage of your career. If you don't pass, then take a moment to compose yourself, go back to preparing, and sit for the next exam. Obviously don't take my advice as encouragement to slack off or anything, but I seriously think you will do better on it if you celebrate your accomplishments and not worry about the possibility of failure.

Just keep remembering that stress originates from within YOU, not the environment. That fear of your brain "crapping out on you" is your nervous system being kicked into high alert. You have enough self-discipline to make it through prep education, university, and law school, you've proven that already; you certainly have the discipline to reign in the stress and achieve your potential.

Just some encouragement, good luck on your bar!

I know someone who recently took the bar in US. The people who failed were the ones who hadn't taken the studying and test prep after school seriously. And the majority who failed, passed the second time.

Sounds like you are as prepared as humanly possible, I would bet you will pass.

Good Luck

And by the way, your signature is great