College, partying, and aspergers?

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I remember my first party.

Friends and I walked into a random house and drank their beer. They found out we weren't invited but we were all having too much fun playing pong and dancing around to care. Eventually, we decided to pay them for more alcohol because it seemed the fair thing to do.

I ended up putting my arm around my friend's hot girlfriend and we walked off into the night.

And somewhere under that half-crescent moonlight, with all those stars shining bright across that dark Oregon sky, my hands now in my pocket, I asked myself, "What the hell am I doing?"

Jeezus, what the hell am I doing, even now? Posting on an internet forum while the maddened college town partyers with drink and song celebrate the football conquest of yesterday?

Really, who cares? Does it look like we do? I mean, we post and reply but does it matter? You don't seem to think so even though you try very hard to. How else are we supposed to feel?

But I think you already know the answer and you've already started typing it before you've even hit the reply button and that is what counts.

Who cares what they think. They're angry because they can't label us "correctly" and then, they hate us for it.

right I think thats what counts....not caring and not striving to be normal.

Normal is something that I dont think you can be if you have to try in the first place.

but yea I think just get into something and let you shine.

I think the only feeling that really matters in the whole world is if you are true to yourself.......I really beleive that......nothing else matters................ I wish I could live by that........I am going to try though

Parties suck.

At least you got to feel what it's like. I don't know if I'd want to after reading this. I was on meds that wouldn't interact well with drugs or alcohol, so it wasn't really much of an option. Besides, I've only had 3 invites in the last 9 years (since I turned 12 and adolescence effectively began), and I didn't feel like I could follow up without a driver's license. Only 1 real date and no sexual experience in life except for dry-humping a girl my age when I was 11 and wondering what would have happened if our parents had kept talking upstairs and we had actually went all the way in the basement. Would I have changed? Would my life have been different? My quiz-bowl team in high-school were pretty close, but it never panned out into partying in the traditional sense, though one exchange student kind of flirted with me and even attended one of my home matches. Oh, the what-ifs!

Hi, i to am new to this site and also at 59 newly diagnosed with aspergers. I started drinking at about age 16 and then that slowly increased over time as we tend to go all out on certain elements in our lives. I was also an extremely heavy smoker. These seemed in my mind, help me mix in the NT world but ended up taking me into alcoholism ( 24+ beers a day, and upto 50 - 60 cigarettes a day for 20+ years)up until i was 44. My world came crashing down when my then wife had had enough of my alcohol abuse, so in true aspie style ( from all the physch talk ) i took on a whole new interest which was to clean up my drinking problem and cigs. With that decision i just stopped no AA no withdrawal as my aspie mind had made the decision that was now the thing to do. I have now been off both for 15 years but i always wondered why people reacted to some of my social habits. I had no problem. Inappropriate comments, laughing at someones misfortune etc etc. Since being diagnosed, it is like i'm heading off into a new life ( a good thing ) so my wife ( the NT ) and I now work with social cues for when i get overloaded and for some of my ( what i think is ok ) behaviour. Overall, it is who i am and my wife and i live every day in a state of what's going to happen next ( lol ) but love and compliment each other so well.

Just don't drink and get behind the wheel...