Bullies

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Do you have bullies? How do you deal with them?

I was bullied in Grade 1, and I would often come home crying. My mum homeschooled me after that.

I've outlived most of them.

I was bullied a lot as a kid. Defending myself didn't work cuz they'd tell the teacher what I did & then I'd get in trouble. Telling the teacher on them didn't work cuz they'd tell the teacher they weren't doing anything & then I'd get in trouble for lying. I just had to suck it up & try to avoid them when I could. I'd cry & have meltdowns when I'd get home.

Ignored them, mostly. Spoke to maybe 6 people in my high school.

I usually try to ignore them. Bullies are weak, immature people who want to see you react, either because they're intimidated by you, or because they're not strong enough to handle their own problems. I usually try to deal with it myself before seeking help from authorities, because nine times out of ten, authorities will brush it off or blame the victim.

OH YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!! !! THE WORST ARE THE BULLIES THAT KNOW HOW TO PLAY VICTIM!! !! !

They eventually managed to teach me the harsh truth that being too weak to defend myself made me deserve to be bullied. They were too soft on me, in fact, as I've survived so far, while others, probably much stronger, and therefore worthier of living, than me, were driven to suicide. Life's not fair.

You didn’t even bother to read anything in that post but the last sentence, did you?

I was bullied because I was the only quiet guy in the classroom. It makes no huge difference between you and the rest of the classroom but is a enough reason for bullies to bully you.

Being the only quiet guy means you probably have noöne to talk to. This usually means noöne would side with you in a fight, so it signals you're an easy target for bullying.

My parents used to get angry with me for being always alone, blaming the bullying I underwent on it, though I didn't learn very clearly the problem was being an easy target. I had a hard time accepting the idea that most of my peers weren't bullied because bullies were too afraid to mess with them; in other words, that my crime was weakness and everyone else was free of my guilt because they could fend off would-be bullies, but I couldn't. I naïvely believed that only evil people would assault you for being an easy target, rather than that it's something you should expect and the only evil is weakness.

It goes without saying that neither my parents nor anyone else ever taught me how not to be alone. At least, not till I was old enough to decide I prefer loneliness to the few kinds of company likely to be available to me---namely, bullies.

It is very offensive to me to be treated as invisible, for example it was disrespectful that in a soccer match nobody gave me the ball. I found them arrogant and they all act like they are going to be professional soccer players.

I let bullies bully me (verbally and emotionally) but never physically. In high school there were no bullies that wanted to fight, only verbal bullies. Being alone can make a bully want to bully you only if you are a quiet person. I have a complex because I was stupid not to react to bullies and listening all that stupid advice from my parents and grandparents that say I shouldn't react. As bullies get older it seems that bullies resort more to verbal than physical bullying. Bullies will continue doing what they want unless you stand for yourself.

There was a time when most of my bullying became verbal, too, and I believed that'd mean I could verbally analize what they said and calmly reply to my heart's content, making their words harmless. Big mistake. When they are determined to hurt you, they won't stop of their own accord till they really hurt you. My ill-advised attempt at verbal defence only made the challenge more enticing to them---a challenge I could only lose, because I wasn't attacking them, nor would I have known how to. If you refuse to yield verbally, sooner or later the abuse will become physical, some way or other: they can decide they've had enough and beat you up anyway; they can steal your stuff when you're not around; they can use their social skills to turn everyone else against you so you eventually lose something valuable beyond the realm of mere words; they can get you punished by framing you as the real troublemaker, or simply by convincing enough people to falsely accuse you...; their possibilities are endless, while the only thing you can do is wait like a moron to suffer whatever crap they come up with, at least in my experience.