How to stop a meltdown?

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hey
I'm a 14 yr old girl and i go to a grammar school in the UK. I keep on walking out of classes though and SEN have tried to help but the school are trying to chuck me out. don't blame them really. iv'e been really depressed lately and having some unwelcome thoughts something happened in drama that keeps on happening. So i was sitting in Drama (last lesson of the day) and we were reading our new GCSE script for the first time. My teacher asked me to read and i said no, she said okay and someone else did my part. Then i started thinking about everything, i got really hot and sweaty and it felt like everyone around me was shouting. My heart was beating at 100mph and i felt dizzy. We were all in a circle and i felt trapped and crowded.I was worrying about loads of things.Then the lights became super bright and i knew i needed to get out. I tried to hold on as long as i could but when i couldnt hold it in i ran out and i just.. ran. i knew if i stayed i'd embarrass myself. i'm really worried what i would do if i stay because i feel like i just need to run around bang my head jump up and down and scream but i know i cant, i know it's not socially acceptable but i feel like i get to the point where i have no control and i have no idea what i would no. so i just run out and then somehow after like half an hour of walking i calm myself down. but the thing is after 5 minutes of me gone missing everyones looking for me. I'm really stuck, i dont know what to do when this happens. The teachers have been told not to let me out so i cant say can i leave when this happens and usually i probably can't talk. The thing is nobody notices. Should i just stay and just let what happens happen? I'm so confused, i dont know what to do! What can happen when a teen girl has a meltdown? Nothings ever happened infront of anyone before . please help

First, welcome to Wrongplanet. Hopefully simply finding your way here will help you some. I think you are going to find a lot of people here who can relate to your problems.

I have been working on a response to you for the better part of an hour but it is not ready yet. I'm posting this to let you know that you are not being ignored but I will probably not give you my full response for at least another hour because I am working on it and preparing it.

I am posting this in two parts because my computer wont let me post this as one large comment.

Before I begin, I would like to point out that I am speaking as someone who grew up in the American school system and it may be very different from yours, so that will probably impact the usefulness of my advice.

I will start by approaching your topic question “How to stop a meltdown.”

For me, there are two parts to the answer: You can look at how to stop a meltdown that is about to happen and you can look at how you can prevent them from happening as often.

Short term prevention of a meltdown has always been the harder of the two for me. There is a point where there really is no stopping them, although I could always sense these points before I reached them. Those last few minutes, when all the sounds in the room start to become louder in my ears as my stress reaches crescendo and my thoughts race in my head as I try to prevent what I can feel coming are, in many ways worse than the meltdown itself.

Like you, walking is one of my favorite preventative methods but as you pointed out, there are problems with trying to use that method in school. You could keep some bubble wrap (one of the great stress relievers for college students) in your locker for between classes but I doubt you could use it in the classroom. The next best thing to me has always been to try to distract myself. Enjoying drawing, I had a page in the back of each of my notebooks where I would draw throughout the year, using my pencils and different pens to slowly add to the piece. I’ve never personally tried squeezing stress balls but that may work for you, too.

Of course, if you experience meltdowns the way that I do, then these are only really temporary measures. If you’ve prevented a meltdown this way, chances are that you still feel the stress just below the surface and will probably resurface in a few hours or a few days.

I have never been able to completely stop a meltdown altogether on this level. Once I accepted I couldn’t stop it, I eventually started asking myself “when would be the best time to let it happen?” For me, when I was still at home with family, It was with my dad or my sister, who I knew would support me while I was breaking down. If they weren’t around, I would try to have them in my room or some other private place.

After the meltdowns, I feel relieved and refreshed. For me, it’s the silver lining that comes with every one of them. It’s like wiping the slate clean, with exception to an emotional stressor of extreme intensity or more commonly an extreme high sensory stressor, which can do a lot toward overwhelming me no matter what (there was this one school concert I went to for the high school band my brother was in: the junior chorus that went before them had a piece with cow bells which still makes me shudder to recall).

As long the sudden causes don’t strike, there is generally a build up time before my next meltdown. This is fed long term stressors in combination with the minor ones which are usually the ones that set me off on the final days before the next meltdown.

For me, long term meltdown prevention came down to a practice that many of us already practice to a degree subconsciously, increasing our control over our environment. Pay attention to what stresses you out. I’d suggest sorting them into short and long term types. Identify those that you can control and those that you can’t. You can prevent the stress that comes with getting a week long assignment done at the last minute by knocking it out as soon as you get it or reduce the stress of sitting in class by choosing the most comfortable location available (for me it was the front of the room because I wasn’t distracted by classmates there but I have read about other people on this site who profess to doing better in the back of the room).

As for those issues that you can’t control, talk to someone about them. Whether it’s a school councilor, that trusted person who you can have your meltdown around, posting on a site like WP or a combination of these, let it out.
This combination of increased control and having support will not stop the meltdowns altogether but it can sure go a long way in reducing their frequency.

Secondly, if the school systems do anything beneficial related to people with disabilities, it would probably be to your benefit to get your school informed that you have AS. I wasn’t so severe that I had to be taught in a separate class, but I needed a separate testing location and double test time to keep me from melting down every time I had an exam with math or extended writing.

Even if you can’t tell the school as a whole, if you think there are specific teachers you think will listen, tell them and ask them if they have any ideas for what you can do other than walking. It’s not always easy for them to tell who really needs some help and someone who’s just acting up. Bringing attention to the fact that you really are acting this way for a solid reason may help your situation immensely.

Furthermore, I would suggest that, if they haven’t done it yet, consider asking your family to get you examined for depression. Those "unwelcome thoughts" could be the precursor for much larger problems that could manifest themselves in the future. It’s not uncommon for people with Autism often have other issues, too.You won’t have to look too hard to find them here.

If you want to talk in depth about anything I’ve mentioned here, feel free to send a private message to me and I would be happy to talk.

I hope that you find something up here helpful. Again, welcome to wrong planet and I hope that it proves as helpful for you as it did for me.

I am so sorry that you are going through this! Hormone-related health changes along with your Autism can make these years very difficult.

As a teacher I recently spent a day in a Theater class. It was chaotic to say the least. You most likely need more structure than such a class provides. Also, I studied theater in the NYC area and did not like some of the "trust building" activities, like group squeezes. Have you asked to work in the office or library during this class until a change is made in your schedule? You may have an arts credit that you are required to complete. A counselor should help you find a better fit. Please explain that the chaos in this class is too difficult and ask for some other type of activity, perhaps art class where willingness to work and try are at least recognized. Also, you may want to consult with a compassionate doctor about the medications that help manage these social reactions, which seem to be more complex and difficult at your age.