My experiences with school counsellors.

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Even now I sometimes randomly think about the counselling I went through at school. I'm not even sure why since it was quite awhile ago now.

At first, it was hard to get a straight answer as to why the school had sent me to this counsellor, but from what I gathered it was because I didn't explain things very well.

They found me to be confusing, and the connections I made were not always immediately obvious, but once I spent time explaining how I reached such a conclusion, people often found it to make sense. Unfortunately, it didn't always occur to me to stop and explain when I was younger.

They told me that the counselling was to help me make better, and more understandable connections. That it would help me think more inside the box.

I missed some lessons because of these sessions, so my parents had to teach me certain things outside of class, such as swimming.

The sessions always started out the same, I would come in and she would tell me to stand on one leg, and then the other. I guess this was just to test my sense of balance, but to this day I wonder why.

Then we would look over booklets, and flip charts and we would talk about what I could see. Unfortunately, she had a meltdown in front of me one day (pulling at her hair, clearly trying to keep calm, fidgeting a lot, glancing at the floor and making weird noises) and then she told me she'd be right back, but she ran off and I heard a car engine so I can only presume she drove off and left me, since she didn't come back that day.

I believe I saw her one day wandering around the school, but I didn't approach her as she didn't look like she was in a particularly good state to be approached in. I also wasn't sure if it was her because she looked quite different. I hope she's OK now.

The next month I got a new counsellor, she was OK. She was nice, albeit a little condescending at times. It's funny because on the day of our last session we had an assembly, and guess what it was about? Thinking OUTSIDE the box. All that counselling telling me to think inside it, and now you want me to think outside it? Talk about mixed messages.

That's kind of odd, to be honest. Why would they not tell you why you were going there? Was the psychologist autistic? I'm confused.

My experience with school psychologists has not been fun. At all.

I think my whole primary school experience can be described as 'odd'. It was certainly that, an odd place. They gave me a vague explanation, but it wasn't much to go by.

At this point I was fairly used to therapy since I was used to going to speech therapists, but I found this to be odd, because the counselling happened way after my last session of speech therapy.

In the end, I just kind of shrugged and went along with it, never fully understanding why I was in these sessions, only really being told that I needed them and that was all that mattered.

I don't know if she was autistic, I didn't even know what autism was back then. It looked like a standard stress induced breakdown to me, I've certainly seen quite a few of those over time, from both students and teachers alike. Quite common around exams.

My best guess is that she found her job and possibly home life stressful, and one day it got too much I guess. I didn't really know what to say when she started freaking out, so I just kind of sat there and watched.

It all happened so suddenly. We were answering questions in this booklet, there were a bunch of pictures and a big picture of a house in the middle of the page. She asked me to draw lines from the pictures to the house, but only from pictures that were connected to the topic of houses.

I kept asking questions about it, and I would connect objects to the house, but she would always stop me until I picked the 'correct' item.

She grew more and more annoyed with me as I would ask questions like 'What kind of house is it? Where is this house? What's the neighbourhood like? Is it a clean house? Do they own rats, and/or simply attract rats because they don't clean their house?'. Aka, over thinking the question.

When I tried to argue with her that a picture of a rat could be indirectly connected to the house (my line of thinking was that it could be a pet, and live in the house, or simply reside there because they left a door open and forgot to empty their overflowing bins because they're slobs, or whose to say that people even live there, maybe it was just rats) she'd had enough. She started raising her voice and getting annoyed that I didn't just pick the furniture pictures like I was supposed to.

That's when she started pulling at her hair and making weird noises that sounded like she was muttering to herself, perhaps she was. I sat in the room for a bit and I heard a car engine not long after I poked my head out the door to see her leave through the exit in a fast paced manner.

I ended up sitting with a teacher waiting for her to return, but after awhile it became obvious that she wasn't coming back, so I was sent to join the rest of the class.

Ah, so what were your experiences like then? If you don't mind me asking.

Wow, you've got a good memory! I've never seen or heard of someone breaking down like that before. The questions you asked made me laugh .

Well, my experience wasn't as frightening as the one you had, but it was just annoying. This one clueless psychologist pulled me right out of class in front of everyone in middle school, so I hard to come up with a lie as to where I went. Then he asked me questions, and when I answered truthfully, he would dismiss my answer. That whole experience was anxiety-ridden for me, so I vowed to never do it ever again and my parents listened. It was not fun at all.

_______________

When I was in tenth grade, French 3, I violated the Mandated Reporter Law, by writing an essay about physical violence. The essay was in response to a homework assignment. The teacher gave me 87 percent on the essay.

The teacher gave me a hall pass and told me to go to the office. In the office, I had to talk to the Dean. The next day, I had to talk to the Dean and a school psychologist. The school psychologist was so condescending. She had the nerve to ask "are you a happy child?". Then she told me that middle school students bullied me because they were jealous that I did better at school than them. And that " if you work hard you can be whatever you want to be when you grow up".

But she had no method of knowing why students bullied me. She did not even know which students they were.

We were not discussing job goals. She acted like she expected me to believe anything she said.

The next day got a different school psychologist. She was nicer .

relatively

And then over the summer, the second school psychologist saw me at the mall, where she worked a second job, with my precious lil "parents". She called me out, by name

My precious lil "parents" asked me who was that. Answered she worked at school. They asked was she a teacher. So I did not want to lie and I did not want to disclose either



Anyways that is not as bad as when you said the school psychologist pulled you out of class in front of everyone





But the counselors have to follow the Dual Relationship Law. It states that when the counselor sees the client outside of counseling, both parties ignore each other

That way if the client is with family, friends, boss, or someone, someone does not find out the client was in counseling

And then that brings up the question of what reason the client went into counseling

The current counselor charges 75 bucks an hour. The court did not give me court Mandated counseling . There is no law that says I have to go. So why am I going?



However nowadays I am hardly ever socially interacting with someone

And some of my former precious lil "friends" had their own counselors

Thanks. I made a thread about that actually, called "My weird memory". Admittedly, sometimes I pretend to forget certain things in order to make conversation, and also to avoid coming across as creepy/a stalker to people.

At UCSD, psychologist double booked. He scheduled an appointment for someone else and me at the same time

The psychologist took his dog into his office

When I said something he did not. Hear, he acted disgusted. Like I said "he drew" and the psychologist said "he withdrew?" Scrunching his face. Like I just told him I rape babies

My experience in school counsellors can be broken down into Junior High and High:
1)Junior High:
"you have got to stop making yourself a target for bullies"
"try to emphasize with them (the guys who violently attacked me for no reason) and talk nicely to them"
"act tough and they will leave you alone (only made it worse)"
"ignore them and they will go away" (not without leaving me with a concussion)

I remember my mother took me to a psychologist and all he kept asking me was the names of the troublemakers at school over and over and over again. I just wanted them to leave me alone and nothing more.

2)High School:
"only dropouts become plumbers and electricians"
"the future is in ecommerce"
"get a commerce degree and you will have a strong future"

I won't even get into employment counsellors!

When I told a UCSD psychologist that I was on academic probation for getting a gpa under 2.0, and I wanted to drop out and enlist in Air Force, she had the nerve to tell me that people with bachelor degree earn an average one million dollars per lifetime than people with high school diploma.

But it does not make sense to lump together all colleges, all majors, men and women, white and black, cisgender and lgbt, and etc

That was in 2003. After 2008 recession, plenty of people got laid off or fired due to economy. Tuition rates increased out of proportion to the minimum wage

Not everyone earns the average

Amount


Quality of life depends on many factors

$$ is just one of them

Relationship

Health

Meaning

Purpose

But maybe the psychologist's job description said she had to enthusiastically tell me what she told me

Brand loyalty



But she did not know my individual situation or personality. Nor did she care

When someone at work interacts with me, they hide behind an entire company. Like they are just doing their job

When I am at work, it's like customer service





Ten years after getting a bachelor degree, still haven't gotten a job that requires a degree.

But college is a business that sells classes. College is nothing more

Or less

Neither the psychologist nor the college has any responsibility to get the alumni a job.

It's like when I worked at a restaurant, the brand loyalty was not to tell someone to go to Sizzler instead of Taco Bell

Bias

Prejudice

Sales

Potato au gratin

Degrading

Embarrassing

Boring

Dirty

Standing up

Doing menial labor



And now......

Nobody will hire me for any job


whatsoever.

Funny how our counsellor said literally the exact same thing. They pretty much told us in no uncertain terms that we would be making $70,000 with a Degree. Still waiting.......

Meanwhile, those same "dropouts" are raking in the money in skilled trades.

_______________________

But maybe it was in their job description to say that. Just like the way a professional actor recites certain lines. With certain inflection, tone, volume, drama. Because the director or the boss or whoever told them to.






In that way, it is nobody's fault

As usual


The school psychologist was just doing her job

If she did not do her job, she would get fired and someone else would do the job



And then I talked to a military recruiter





And he had to fulfill a quota





There was nobody that could give me informed, unbiased advice about whether it was a better idea to go to UCSD, enlist in Air Force. Or just start professional panhandling earlier



In other words, in some situations it is better to go to college. In some situations it is better to work a civilian job. In some cases it is better to panhandle. In some cases it is better to work 11b Infantryman

Ha.

And then after I got a Bachelor degree, I have yet to get a job over 16 bucks an hour or a job that requires a high school diploma, much less a bachelor degree

No warranty

No satisfaction guarantee

Ouija board

Psychic

Clairvoyant

On the other hand the school psychologist must have to deal with a lot of student clients that want to drop out

And there are many reasons to dropout

Distinguishing between the good and bad reasons is splitting fine hairs

There are certainly a lot of emojis on this thread. I'm not ignoring replies here, and I do intend to reply to some, but I haven't had the time to write a full response yet.

I will return when I can.

The community college licensed clinical social worker had the nerve to interrupt me when I was talking and squeak "what?", Instead of " excuse me". Later she said "huh?" Like that is the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me".

The community college LCSW did not know the definition of the following terms:

Sole proprietor
Percent body fat
CPS
Dojo.

It was like wtf

She was only 35 years old. And I was 33. Her attitude reeked of condescension. She acted like she was a wise old woman and I was a small child.

When I told her that someone told me that he worked at Oracle seventeen years as a software engineer. Then his whole department got laid off and he had to work for one year at Trader Joe's stocking shelves. The counselor made a shocked, disgusted face. As if I told her that I was raping babies.

The counselor acted like she had never heard of someone working at a job he was overqualified for the.

Then when I told. The counselor that I took aikido lessons, she had the nerve to tell me that that was "good" because of social interaction and physical exercise.

But she did not even know how to pronounce the work aikido . Pretty judgmental for someone that knew so little

Besides, gangs offer Social interactions too. Does not necessarily follow that gangs are "good"

According to some physiologists, some athletic build exercises are bad for the body.

For example, allegedly doing sit ups with straight legs is bad the body

The counselor had no clue what she was talking about.

Big deal.

That is not illegal

However she got paid to flap her cute lil trap.

And that is just insult to injury

Likewise the counselor was just too vague and subjective. Way too often

And then she told me to go to the Wellness Center (that was literally ten feet away) to get a physical and when I went there someone told me the "wellness center" had no doctor or nurse. Nobody on duty



That made me feel crazy and stupid. He misunderstood me and thought that it was my idea to go there



The most recent boss had the nerve to fire me because "you are working with people's money and you can't make mistakes"


it's like. wtf



That licensed clinical social worker made so many mistakes interacting with me

Besides what is the definition of"mistake" anyways?

She should've gotten her license revoked

At minimum

But (drumroll please)

..... Everything you say is confidential unless you violate the Mandated Reporter Law.

Slightly OT, but this reminds me of dealing with a useless employment counsellor. She gave me the usual clichés: in short be like everyone else. Her advice just made things worse and worse so I decided "f*** it" and went to an interview with a confident, almost cocky attitude. I told the manager his operation is terrible, I have the skills and experience to fix it and make me an offer when he is done his interviews. I got the job the next day. I told the counsellor this and she replied with a shocked look I could see over the phone "that's a horrible thing to do..... NEVER do that again!" I laughed and said "hey, at least my method got me the job".

Not once did any counsellor EVER ask what I wanted, what my interests were or what I think would be a good course of action.

Giant hockey fan

At least one job counselor asked me what I wanted.

The one at the department of rehab asked.

And I answered that I wanted to be a writer

And she wrote the treatment plan . She put the objective as customer service

In other words maybe customer service is just a more practical goal

At the ucsd career center , the counselor told me to take a computerized job interest inventory

It had questions like would you rather write a budget or plan a party

Damn, that's some bad planning.



How did you feel about that? Do you like dogs? Maybe it was their only option, as they couldn't get anyone in to care for the dog or something.



Maybe if I had some more context on this, I could better understand the situation. Sounds to me like you said something innocent, but due to him mishearing you it came across as much more disturbed/ dark in nature. Is that correct?